My Diary - Let's all Beat this!

hiya sparks

welcome to the forumsand they are a definite help. we have all been in your position wondering where the next quid will come from after blowing wages. ithink you really need to invest in gamblock betfilter etc to stop the temptation.

then grip yourself when your next payday comes. i would hand over your finances to someone else initially but however you wish to do it.

post regualrly and read some diaries.

very helpful.

a.n.d

Hiya a.n.d,

Thanks for you're advice and I think that I will maybe pay a few months rent or something up fron on pay day, and draw out the rest straight away, its only really online gambling which is my problem so this may work, when my lump sum goes in, maybe transfer most to a new account with no debit facility and each time i need cash transfer back bits at a time.

I have had a look at Gamblock etc, only doubt for me is if you really wanted to you could just uninstall it again in a matter of seconds so you could play again? If I am wrong on this please let me know?

Thanks again,

Pete

Hi Sparky

I dont have gamblock m8.Im not completely sure how it works but im pretty sure you cant just uninstall it if there is such a word lol.There is a free trial one that you can use and as far as i know you can uninstall that one.Try asking the question.go to ask gamcare on the lefthand side of your screen.Im sure they will give you all the information you need.In the meantime read some diaries.There are lots of people on here offering advice.Stay strong Jeff.

Hi Sparks and welcome

Gamblock is designed so that it can NOT be removed during the license period. Check out www.gamblock.com then go to the Questions section. You'll see pretty much all of your answers there i would think. See below cut and paste from there

GamBlock® cannot be circumvented by using proxy sites. GamBlock® is not a simple web address blocker. GamBlock® uses sophisticated, wide and varied diagnostics that completely block any attempt to access online gambling activity. GamBlock® cannot be subverted by accessing Safe Mode with Networking, Apple Safari web browser or other internet browsers.

Sounds like you are doing all the right stuff and paying a few months rent up front with your payoff is a great idea also so long as you don't then think "Ok I've taken care of everything, there's a bit of spare cash, so i deserve a little treat of a bit of online gambling. Even if I lose the rent is paid". This addiction gets to you in weird ways where you think it is actually a treat to blow a few months wages in a couple of hours and screw up your life !!

Getting away in that time, pretty much anywhere, would really give you time to re evaluate things and maybe really look at the the TIME you wasted gambling rather than focus on the money. You've been given a break with the pay off so finances aren't crushing you and you seem confident of getting back on a sound financial footing. That's brilliant and I'm happy for you. What you will NEVER get back is the time though, in those last 5 years. Sit down and add it up (average hours per day x 365 x 5 or whatever). It will run into DAYS if not weeks of your life lost which could have been better spent.

Good luck and well done for recognising your problem and coming on here

"Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty golden minutes. No reward is offered as they are gone forever"

Deeds

Hi Jeff,

Thanks, I have just had a look at their software and yes your right it cannot be uninstalled, being a computer scientist i guess wont help though, my life and work revolves around creating and destroying software applications, i can see the future..Money goes in, an evening of trying to find a way to *** the uninstallation of GamBlock without having reformatting the drive! lol Na, it wont come to that ! I hope! Feel that I must purchase this though as this will probably be the best option as all my money goes online, I dont care for bookies, slots in pubs or roulette etc. My urge comes from when i am by myself in my room, online casino with a few beers, this has to stop (not the few beers tho! lol)!!

Thanks again for your support Jeff.

Pete

Hi Deeds,

Thanks, Checked out their website as mentioned to Jeff above and will be making a purchase, will update to see how things pan out day by day. I totally agree with..

"as you don't then think "Ok I've taken care of everything, there's a bit of spare cash, so i deserve a little treat of a bit of online gambling. Even if I lose the rent is paid"

It is crazy what goes through yoour head when you want to gamble, take the other day for example, i got a loan even though i had a few quid in the bank to tie me over just for the sole purpose of having a night in on the casino, this was for £200 allready with the intention of withdrawing 100 and depositing 100, i deposited the 100, got up to 230 or so, should have cashed out but kept going, lost the lot and then started analysing how mucjh i would need to live on for the rest of the week, ah just put another 40 in, thats 10 a day for food and travel, should be allright.. lose it..oh another 30, fiver a day, i can live on that... oh f*** it. 20 in, lefgt myself with a tenner..having to walk 7 miles to work for a couple of days, feeling like s*** and no care in the world? Absolutely crazy!

Looking at the time i have wasted, thats a good thought, sometimes its all day, or the whole weekend... Everything i did was planned around hours on the casino! I will be making steps to use my time wisely as i will have plenty of it soon, visiting friends who i have ignored for years and try to make things up! learn a new language etc..

Deeds this is great advice,

Thank you.

Pete

I know this is only my third day and have no money to spend on online gambling anyway so have not had to face the hard challenge yet till payday in a few days but think I have just walked over my first obstacle... I have just checked my post after been out most of the day att a mates and there was a £25 free no deposit coupon from *** and I ripped it up and it went straight in the bin! yes baby!!! And I have had a few beers!

Maybe some are saying why it is free? I havent used that site in a while as moved over to BF the last couple of years so i guess they are trying to tice me back in, and i feel even if i play the free bonus, how can i say to myself that i have quit?

Anyways, back to a couple more beers and reading on this forum a bit more..It is getting rather addictive!

Pete

Maybe you should think about trusting a close person in your life to look after your redundency in some way. Just to be on the safe side.

Thanks Sparky and glad to hear you are doing well.

I also try and see the urges and gambling as something physical that is trying to challenge my constantly, and the fact that I don't gamble means I overcome those challenges so feel stronger in myself. As a CG I continually felt weak so it was a self perpetuating circle. You feel weak so you are weak so you gamble. Just turn that around.

I've done a section in my book 'Overcoming Gambling' called "The Mind Gym". It isn't rocket science just a way of training yourself to overcome your urges. If you have made a New Year's resolution to get in the gym and get fit, if you go in on Jan 1st you aren't going to be able to bench press 250 lbs straight away. So why should people think that the first day you stop gambling (probably having gambled continually for the past 5/10/25 years) it is going to be easy to resist the urges. It isn't and just as with the bench presses you need to condition your muscles so with gambling urges you need to condition your mind. It isn't difficult and it does work (least it did for me).

What also worked for us, and may well work for you, was that very soon after all my gambling came to light, my wife actually let me have back my credit cards, internet banking etc. She didn't necessarily trust me but gave me a massive choice...grow up and re-enter the real world and become a decent person or go back to being an immature little t**t and gamble again. She knew that the relationship couldn't survive if she simply viewed me as a third child so gave me the choice. I think that choice has to be out there, at some stage in everyone's recovery otherwise we will just continue to live in an unreal world as we did when gambling. We are still being immature by not being able to access finances, make mature financial decisions and so forth so almost inevtably we have a childish tantrum and gamble as a way of breaking that control and/or getting back at our partner/spouse.

It doesn't have to be all about you and a partner if there is no partner involved, you can still have that conflict going on inside yourself and it is just a powerful.

Anyway sorry for going on and happy things are going well for you

Cheers

Deeds

Hi Mincer,

Mincer I have allready thought about this and will definitely be making preparations in doing so, has to be the parents i guess for me but still have one more months wages to come before the payout so I will still see how things go with that, I do think its important that I learn how too manage my finances at the same time also... It sounds odd but at almost 35, I have no control so have this to work on also..

Thanks Mincer,

Pete

Hey Deeds,

Thanks for your support once again. I have allready been looking at your book and it will be my first purchase on payday, would have bought it already if i had not blown all last months wages on these damned online casinos!!! Reviews on Amazon are very positive, and also not bought myself a book, or come to think of it anything for myself whilst I have been a CG over the years.

I think what you're wife did was very positive, actually I feel if it were the other way around and she was to control your financial situation, you may have most likely as soon as you again had control, go off the railings... (We all still have that impulsive child like behavior even though we are adults) This is what makes us human...

I dont have a partner, mostly due to not caring about anybody apart from myself over the last 5 years, come to think of it I think i ended my last relationship with my last girlfriend around 5 years ago and I can admit it now due to gambling..What an absolute A** I have been... Time though to turn it around.

By the way, your story is impressive Deeds and I have much respect for you offering your support now to others in their time of need.

Thanks Deeds,

Pete

Hi Pete

Many thanks for your support on my diary and welcome.

Been reading through your posts and everything you have mentioned i can relate to. Its a terrible thing to put ourselves through time and time again but we can change things around and over time and with plenty of determination we can all beat this.

Its a long long road ahead, but as the days past and things slowly improve we will begin to see light at the end of the tunnel..

It great to read that you have put as many blocks into place to help with your recovery, i made that mistake early on, thought i could beat this on my own without any help, of course i couldn't and have now put every available block in place to help with my recovery..

Take it a day at a time mate, i wish you well and will be following your progress in the coming days and weeks..

You can do this...We all can

Enjoy the rest of the weekend

All the best

Hi Sparky

Thanks for your comment to IDidNotKnow on the New Members Forum. If you want to contact me through the gamblersaloud website you were on before and send an address I'll happily send you a free copy of the book as you genuinely seem committed to giving up.I'm in Algeria working but my folks are in UK and have a stock of copies. If you do take me up on the offer all I'd ask is you then do an honest review on Amazon.

Cheers

Deeds

Hi Sparks,

Deeds, fantastic gesture mate and shows what you are all about.

Sparks, you seem to have your head screwed on about beating this lark and good move on binning the £25 voucher.

I can see method in lincs advice as he laid everything on the table so he knew he couldn't be sneaky otherwise he fooks his marriage up and knew he was always gonna be watched but some don't tell all for support and I think it's dangerous in the initial period to have cash, but there isn't any set path and I'm sure deeds will agree.

What you will get is 24/7 support and one path we all want to stick to is the NOT GAMBLING AGAIN one.

Good luck sparks.

Smokey