My Diary of Shame

ODAAT wrote:

Evening Mrs D...

I'm walking like John Wayne but since I look like something out of Emmerdale (the farmy ones it the glamorous ones) with my horsey jacket & my scuffed boots (probably the sort of thing I'll look back on with the age old question "why?") I'm hoping that everyone thinks I'm limping because of a horse related injury! Sounds marginally cooler than kicking a bit too hard @ swimming & pulling a groin muscle (sign) 🙁

I'm checking in to let everyone know that I'm gonna have a krack (incorrect spelling so I don't get edited) @ standing on my own two feet for a while! I intend to drop by the diaries that I have been following/hijacking but thought I'd better post it here too as I know how worrying it is when a soldier goes quiet! I am in no way leaving this site which means so much to me (I don't think I could) I just seem to have less time on my hands @ the moment what with discovering that there is a life after gambling after all! I have been driving into work so have had a few hours alone with my thoughts & it occurred to me tonight that I feel young again, like I used to all those years ago when I was swimming properly! I like it & am ready for my next chapter!

This is me, I am all gung ho @ the start of any adventure (I once listened to a Yazoo 45, 'The only way is up', all night) but then I settle down eventually (I can't afford to fall out with everything the way I did with Yazoo)!

I very much expected to be gamble free @ the end of the year (once I realised no-one had a gun to my head making me gamble) but avoided joining the challenge because I knew I would run out of stream!

I just want to say a massive thank-you to everyone that has made my recovery possible so far & extend my special thanks to: somethingsgottagive, Ade2, Sandra12, gav123, gingernut1, I wished, Taxi man, day@atime & Brutus123 who have allowed me to be me within these pages without feeling guilty!

Staying gamble free ODAAT, with a brick on hand (@ dumcanmac's suggestion) to smash Mr Gamble in the face should he try it on - Juuuuuune

Take care

Hi ODAAT,

Thanks for dropping by. Good luck. Be careful.

Mm

Hi ODAAT,

enjoy your time away from the site.
stay safe and on guard.
Mark

Hi!

Ms coo coo here again 🙂 just wanted to join the chorus and thank you for everything you shared on this site...plus don't want ya to feel left out (as i did earlier this week 🙁 lol lol)..anywayyyyyyyyy...
it sure turned out nice again 🙂 and we will make sure it will keep going to that direction every day 🙂

As our unfortunate singer sang on the Brit awards - "Now that it's over i am gonna carry on!!!" Nobody will stop ya girlie so keep choosing NO and gifting yourself life! ODAAT

Later gator 🙂

you are surely missed on here but we are trying to keep the comedy going for your return 😉

Sandrulikas :-)))))

Hi ODAAT

thanks so much Junie, it's good to know you've still got your finger on the pulse of the forum, and iI feel privileged that you've taken the time to welcome me to club 100.

June I agree winning every day is a wonderful thing ( and free) and it's good to have so much time on our hands to do the things we enjoy....have a lovely day, stay safe, and just keep a little eye open for Mr Gamble.

Thanks again ODAAT for being Juuuune.....Onwards and upwards....Ginger x

Hi... and great stuff on your gamble free time.

Good to read that your discovering life after gambling.

Your thoughts remind me that i must get down the pool and do a few lengths. I like swimming.

Anyway, thanks for your recent support.

keep picking up your diary when the moment feels right. Don't let too much dust gather on the cover. 🙂

Happy days.. S.A

Hey missy...no way you are running away to page 4!..

Just a bump to take u bk where you belong...

...and because i can! 😉

Ciao
Coo coo signing out
Keep winning ODAAT

Evening Mrs D, just a qwik update...I'm back to normal (if you can call a train @ half 5 in the morning normal) shifts again now & wanted just to check in!

I did a week of nights, unlikely to gamble, with 3 days either end that most definitely would have seen me racing to throw all my money away but not any more! The 30 hour marathon stint in bed this time not due to fear of letting myself out but sheer laziness 🙂 Why I am smiling, I do not know, but I am! I did the scuttle round trying to do bits & bobs (you know the drills, skinny jeans on (a bit of hand dusting), a man (no offence to those of you that donut properly, the rest of you, shame on you) Hoover (only the bits you can see) chucked on a bolognaise & pretended it had taken ages (what would he know, he can't cook) etc) before the NM got home from work & berated me for being said lazy cow! It's alright for me & while we're on the subject, you lot, to take the 'P' but I need to keep up appearances a little just so as to not feel too guilty when I moan @ him for doing sweet FA! It felt just like the 'good ol' days' only with a lot less guilt & a lot more money...I don't miss the deceit, that's for sure & I did fess up in the end! Soz bout all the brackets, it's today's punctuation of choice!

Since speaking to you last, I've done a bit of barely keeping up @ swimming, some not quite getting to grips with Pilates & a lot of going the wrong way @ Zumba...Life is good 🙂

I read a post earlier about being scared of never gambling again & whilst never doesn't scare me anymore, I can't say I don't think wistfully about the good times (pfuf)! Weirdly enough, on each occasion I have done that since being gamble free it has never been my game of choice that has sprung to mind! It has always been a hi roller game that I considered myself rather lucky on...Not sure what was lucky exactly about the thousands of pounds of debt that I managed to accrue in the short period of time that I was having my affair with the bookies but such is the warped mind of an addict! Today there was a bit of a time delay when I considered never...Like there wasn't anything I was actually going to miss! The thought arrived eventually but not in brilliant technicolor like I am used to, usually it feels like I am there watching the game but today it was just a weak vision! This my friends is progress 🙂 All that matters in recovery is today & tomorrow is just another today!

So very glad to see Club 100 with a few more members & another couple due to strengthen the ranks later this week as we go oneards & upwards together! We can do this guys, I've said it before & I'll say it again, if I can, anyone can - ODAAT - Juuuuuune

Words without friends eh........it must be working all those nights making you grumpy!! ;0)

Now then Juuuuuuune :-)))

Thanks for dropping by. Sorry, had a little distraction last night so couldn't get my thoughts together to reply. But am here and now HD☺ lol
Yep..mr Gamble been dumped and this was first separation i didn't shed a tear away HD again lol

Nothing changes if nothing changes..and i guess your nagging finally sinked in ..blocks plus wonderful technique to get to "happy place" lol (might sound daft but had a right chuckle today while doing my 8th mile lol...remembered that technique and automatically put it in use lol lol)...god that must of been a good wiev seeing me running and grinning at the same time..but who cares - it worked!..bonkers lol.
HD!!!
Keep fighting and winning the fight girl. You surely can do it and surely we can also...we all in this together - high five!

Laters
Coo coo out of ur tread..just thought i leave my print lol

Ps. You sneeky gal!!! Lol..didn't see ya there on my tread..
Now..let's get few things straight : are ya calling me mooody Cow? What do you mean this is first positive post from me? Lol
I'm always positive 😀 just struggle to express it sometimes lol...as ya k ow..read all 2000 posts, will see how uplifting i really am hahaha

Hugs
Later

Glad to see you still around hun, that addiction will not totally disappear will it, but you have it sussed, proud of you,

(Don't tell,S but her picture says it all lol HD) just hope she is not feeling too BLUE ( me I Would be livid)

Take care and stay safe.

S xxxxxxxx

You again lol..sneaky gal for sure 🙂

Yep..all blue and believe me - i used to like the colour ( not anymore though lol).

Yep, grass is cut.. all 5 millimetres we got in the garden lol..i told her to use scissors instead of lawn mower haha..HD

B good and stay safe girl.
Later

Thanks so much for the post on my diary June, it feels good to be in the 100 club! Its great to see you have so much time for people on here and post so many words of wisdom and support on others diaries.

Its a gorgeous day here, hope you've got the Sun by you and you're having a fab week!

Phil

Hi ODAAT
Ty for your post, actually only managed 3 1/2 hours sleep 🙁
Have a good day
Cheryl xx