My Diary - Restarted Fri 10 Sep 2010

Hi Blocked.

Cheers for the post on my diary. I can see that you are really struggling against your addiction at the moment. You are winning the fight though mate. That must be 3 or 4 occasions in the last 9 days when you have overcome a huge urge to gamble. Now THAT is progress!

Impressive stuff blocked. Keep making the right decisions. Gambling brings nothing but misery and low self-esteem.

Choose to be a winner blocked.

Thanks Curly and yes im backing myself now to win and not a card or casino game 😉 After a close call in the past 10 days I always feel that small bit stronger the next day. I know today I will NOT gamble. Good thoughts to you - Blocked

hi blocked out

thanx for taking time to write on my diary. had a quick look through yours, its a tough hard addiction to quit that is for sure, and see you have bit debt caused by it. that debt can only get smaller and smaller if you continue on your 10 or so days gamble free. my last bet was 11 dec, its now 23rd of january and as i sit here i can honestly say it gets easier and belive me i was the worlds worst gambler who would bet on the flip of a coin. get through the initial first few weeks of urges and worries and all else that comes with it and you are well on your way. i could never get past that 1 month gamble free stage, but now i have im well on my way i feel. take care and stick with the diary, it well help.

neil

Hi Blocked, sorry to read that you are going through a tough time. I'm only 7 days in so not really qualified to give advice but just wanted to say all the best and thanks for support in chat and on diary.

Hope your latest new dawn is permanent.

Blocked

Ten days tomorrow--some would see this as being of little consequence but as you say this is a record for you in the recent past.

Well done mate--I know you are struggling with not gambling but hey surely this is better than blowing everything and then feeling like s**t

Keep going mate--you know there may be dark days ahead but look at the dark behind you first-all you will see is blackness yet there is a tiny speck of light ahead.

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

Stumper

Hi Stumper yes 10 days is small time, and im aware of those dark days ahead. Already had a few. Each day I try remain positive and treat each day as its own mini victory at the moment. Slowly issues will resolve themselve over time. Thanks for the message and hope your doing good. Cheers Blocked.

blocked. . Well done on your gamble free days mate. . Its defo not easy mate but your showin grit and determination mate. . Keep up the excellent work mate you can do it .

Day 10 :

Yesterday was one of those easy days after a rocky start just after midnight. When I woke up felt good I had not gambled and the rest of the day hardly thought about gambling at all. Interesting for me was I did have time on my hands, weekends are the times when Im prone to gamble most. But yesterday no "itches" came. So im happy for that. 2 Whole weekends now without gambling.

Got a very busy week coming up with massive work over load, but thankfully its involving projects that I really enjoy doing. I should be happy with the kind of job I have - and its only the past week I have started to re-appreciate how luck i am in that sense. Busy also with balencing the books, its going to be really really tight this week, as I have alot of financial deadlines I have to meet. But at least im facing them now - even if not everyone promised payments will get them. Today I know I WONT gamble. Not an option for me ... as others have said 🙂 Onwards.

Wow day 10! I am so pleased for you Blocked.

Appreciating that you enjoy your job..a clear sign your head space is becoming less fuzzy without the gambling.

Jas 🙂 x

Hi Jas yes it is thanks. I always enjoyed my work - until i got deep into gambling and debt. Then I let it slide so bad. Somthing that will change as I continue with my recovery. Thanks for the message. 🙂

hi blocked

thanks for ur words of support

day 10 well done and keep it going we can all do it 1 day at a time

wishing u well .......norma x

Day 11 :

This is offically my longest quit period since I re-started gambling 13 months ago. Small victory for me. Yesterday was another easy day for some reason. Very few urges to gamble but was busy with some work and also getting the house straight as the wife was heading back home from being away a few days visiting family.

I even made dinner for when she arrived back (Rare rare event) quite a few things though going through my head at the moment about the gambling mess. Had a dream last night that I was playing online, and I won, in the dream I was saying to myself god how I have missed this. I think I won about 750 with 1 spin of a machine ... woke up it was a dream - no win. But then no loose. Strange I usually only had bad dreams related to gambling.

I have a busy 3 days will be away from the PC most of the time so I know im pretty safe as working away in a place where its impossible to even logon to a casino. A good weekend overall. Will be back in a few days if I dont manage to post here while working away.

Congrats on your longest time away from gambling in 13 months - this defo is, like you say, a victory - so well done. It's good that the gambling thoughts have been minimal recently - just goes to show that when gamblers like you and I who are trying to quit keep ourselves busy, then we can achieve a lot. Spending more time with your wife, a better focus at work - how good does this feel compared to the misery of gamblign?!

All the best,

Alan

Well done on reaching 13 days! A huge acheivement and you should be proud. Keep it up.

From Momma

thanks for the replys Momma and Aberdeenlad - and yes it does feel good doing things now that I aint done or at least enjoyed doing in a long while Aberdeen 🙂

So im packed up ready for the off. Spent the morning clearing paper work, opened a few nasty letters which will be dealt with today! Also checked my junk mail folder, incredible the amount of bull@@@@ spam I got over the past 48 hours from casinos. Although I have repeatedly tried to remove myself from there lists.

Sad to see even a few supposidly "reputable" uk online casinos still spamming me after repeated requests for removal and of course exclusion. Seems like for all good intentions these casinos have with supporting Gamcare and responsible gaming etc - truth is they dont give a d**n! I will take this up directly on the phone with them on my return. This kind of thing though just feeds my determination even more not to feed my familys money into boosting their profits. Rant over 😉 Gotta get to work! Blocked.