My Diary - small steps to recovery

....and so on a night when voices in my head are loud I am shouting back ....,4 days GF.....this weekend will be a massive challenge to me in my resolve to get back to GF. I must continue to be strong, I must do it my way, not deposit, show I have the strength to say No to any further deposits. Feel I have really let myself down but I must dwell on the today's and tomorrow's not the yesterdays that I cannot change. I will overcome this again as I have before. Small steps, stay strong, never complacent.

Mo

....and so 5 days GF. Tonight is even harder than I imagined as problems other than urges which would prompt me to respond to the urges but NO I must be strong, get through this night to make it 6 days tomorrow.

Mo

I havnt read your story mate, but im trying to stay strong right now, hope you are too!!

Thanks NWDare, keep strong

Mo

.....and so Summer Time ends and 6 days GF.....a start to get back on track. Oh to get back to the place I was, well one step at a time, head held high I will get there. I resolve not to waste another £ on online slots. I will fight the urge forever more, I know this will be hard but it must be done. I cannot allow myself to ever go down that wrong path again. I will have to live with relapse but not dwell on it as that would hinder my recovery. Small steps, one day at a time towards a GF life again.

Mo

.....still small steps one day at a time 7 days GF. Keep strong, never complacent.

Mo

....small steps one day at a time, 9 days GF. Never complacent, keep strong

Mo

....and so 13 days GF...small steps, keep strong, never complacent.

Mo

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So big big relapse but now 16 days GF AND more importantly any bank account that I could access is now closed. Finding it hard to cope with my relapse but will just need to accept it.

Small steps, one day at a time, never complacent.

Mo

18 days GF - account closed, bank account closed .....no bank accounts that can be used. On the right path, right frame of mind just need to try to let go immense losses that cannot be replaced. Small steps, one day at a time, never complacent.

Mo

26 days GF, new month onwards and upwards, all blocks in place, never complacent, small steps

Mo

29 days GF.......time to reflect, agonise, why why why......need to set it aside focus on the future one day at a time, never complacent.

Mo

30 days GF....small steps...one day at a time, never complacent

Mo

36 days GF....small steps....will I ever recover.......one day at a time, never complacent

Mo