After having councilling which was really helpful which came to an end about 5 months ago I finally relapsed about 2 weeks ago. I have gambled on the online slots about £500 since then. I am determined to beat this demon and as a way of dealing with it previously by having someone to talk to privately every 4 weeks really was helpful. I feel as though I have let everyone down including the Councillor. My G/f has no idea that I am doing this but our mortgage is due for renewal and I am struggling how I am going to approach the subject. I have spread my debt over interest free cards and haven't missed a payment so it won't affect us renewing our mortgage but I am going to have to declare the debt and thats when she will find out. I am having sleepless nights on how I can approach teh subjevct before we get the mortgage renewed.
Any advice would be greatly received.
Thanks
Hi Tony
I was in a similar situation. I had racked up a huge amount of debt and the mortgage agreement wI'll be changing from a fixed term to the variable rate in around a years time.
I checked online with a few banks to see what sort of rate I could expect and found that although I didn't ever miss a payment on any of the loans and credit cards I had, the debt it's selfine outside of the mortgage was enough for the banks to lower the amount we able to borrow. So we are stuck on the Variable rate for the forseable future until the banks agree the debt I have is no longer a risk to the mortgage payments.
I had been gambling for as long as I can remember and one night I got the point where I felt like I couldn't keep doing it anymore. I decided that I would prefer a life on my own than to keep lieing to all the people I love and decided that if I was to tell my partner everything and she was to leave, it would be better than her living a lie. Luckily she stuck by me and has been nothing but supportive for the last 5 or 6 weeks.
It's easy for me to say, but I would tell her everything now. Don't let yourself get into the mess that I was in. Forget about the ВЈ500 it will take no time at all to pay off when your not spending the money gambling. Beleive me, if you don't tell her, you will think you can do it alone, it will keep playing on your mind and there will be a time where you think you can win it back. You won't. The debt will get worse. I am in 20k debt now fighting to pay back £400 a month on top of the mortgage payments. Don't let this get to you like it has with me. The people around you will allready know the problems deep down. It justo needs you to believe you want to stop
Good luck and keep us posted!
Thanks Dan, our mortgage will represent only 30% of the value of the house, add to that the 17k I have on CC I am hoping we will get a fixed one. I am pleased to hear you are still with your partner but it must have been incredibly tough to tell her.
Thanks once again.
Ah I see. Yes it was very hard. But looking back I can't understand why I didn't do it ages ago. Everything would have been so much better if I would have told her before the debt racked up but we live and learn. It's almost like it took that big loss and huge debt to wake me up. I never felt like it was a problem before then as I allways thought I would find a way of winning the money back without having to tell her.
It's been a tough few weeks since I told her that I had been lieing for all this time but things can allways be worse. Stay strong and you will come out the other side.
Hi Tony. How are you getting on?
Hope you are staying strong!
All the best
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