So my first day tomorrow after a hideous morning. My problem started two years ago on bingo websites, a tenner here and there. I used to feel sick at losing a tenner but could walk away. Then after a year I got bored and moved onto slots. Again, a tenner here and there until BAM my first big win. It was 260 but if I recall I kept 20 back to try for more. And that was it. The start of this complusive dirty obsession. I gamble daily on various sites but its always one slot that gets my attention. I do get a thrill off winning, but I slot it all back in waiting for that next big win and care nothing for the money I lose. I know the signs, or so I think I do, so I deposit more. My hands shake and my cheeks flush and I either grin as I win or I shove more money on and bet higher. I gamble in secret, usually when my husband goes to bed and I've told so many lies. I feel sick at the thought. I kid myself that I'm not down on money but my isa has been at a halt fir 6 months or so.Tomorrow is my first day gamble free, Im doing this for my Son, my Husband and myself.
Duplicate
Hi chelsie (sorry if that's spelt wrong) thanks for reading I know it's not a happy read but it's true and only half the c**P I've done but i made a decision to change that and it's getting more positive
It was good talking in chat, slots was not my thing but that doesn't matter gambling is gambling. Like you said your not down to your last penny which is good you have but if you don't stop spinning them reels you will soon be and then chasing and getting money from all over to put it back.
You have made a great start handing over your finances To your man. So I assume he knows about this is, you will need his help.
I think you have now closed then doors you left open with thisr 2 sites an md self excluded from them and put blocking software in place which is good.
You asked me about GA in chat don't be scared id been shocked if you met someone you knew and if you did they can't judge you can they? Yes it's hard to go in but it was the best gamble I ever took. Give it a try if nothing else it will stop you gambling for a couple if hours.
Speak with Gamcare they can help with one 2 one counselling if That might help you.
One thing that stood out to me was you helping your brother when he was in this position. I don't if he is still gambling but have you thought about speaking to him No one understands this like a compulsive gambler
Take care and keep us upto date and read others diary a theirs lots of inspiration out there
KTF
yup those 2 sites are now blocked too. my husband knows, but he doesn't understand mainly because I cant explain. Yes my brother got into a lot of debt, hes still paying my parents back but I admire him for quitting. I admire anyone for quitting, can't be easy. I've had bad urges tonight but i've looked at holidays instead. I need to make amends for time i've not spent with them. hope you dont have too bad of a head in morning! was nice chattin
Hi Lilly.
Just wanted to say well done on doing something positive about your gambling.
I wish you well. Stay strong and committed and you will reap the rewards.
Take care.
Feb.
Hi, i wish you best luck.
Hopefully it will be my first day today aswell.
Hi, i wish you best luck.
Hopefully it will be my first day today aswell.
Hi
I wish you best
my bet free days will start today.
Hoping this website will help me and help my life.
Hi
I wish you best
my bet free days will start today.
Hoping this website will help me and help my life.
Hi
I wish you best
my bet free days will start today.
Hoping this website will help me and help my life.
Morning the heads bit to bad better than I expected. The urges will come in the early days even now I get them but not as often. By blocking them sites you can't act on the urges and makes sure your OH just keeps a regular check in the finances remind him if you have to.
It might be worth talking to your brother if he has quit but that's a personal decision
Take care keep busy and stay gamble free
KTF
hi. todays been a good day. how you finding it pasha? thanks everyone 🙂 glad to hear your heads not too bad! yes im going to look into my nearest ga meeting, although nervous!
DAY 2- boy this is hard. I was searching for new websites but then quickly found the strength to avoid it and carried on pricing up holidays. I seem to cope better with a new focus. Heres to day 2. Im on a 1-10 tonight at work so will be on the chat on my break. chat laters! x
Hi Lilly
Good luck on day 3, slots were my thing to firstly at the bingo hall then on line then back to the bingo hall.
Funnily my guilt isn't so much about the money when I think about it, it's the time spent away from my family and the moods swings I was having although trying to hide it must have been very confusing especially for the kids.
I'm not sure if this will help at all, maybe a little understand for you, but slots are made to entice us, they are made to mess with your heads to keep you coming back for. As with all addictions it's about chemicals in your body either by drinking, inhaliling etch or chemicals made by our own bodies so by breaking the cycle you can break the addiction but I think with gambling the body remembers the feelings for a very long time and this is why the long term abstained still keep going to GA as it helps fight what the body remembers - hope that makes sense.
I do so hope you can beat this disease along with me and all the others.
Rachelx
Hi lilly 1.
I am good, thanks for asking.
Not all plain sailing but found no money in pockets the biggest help.
I saw from your post you had a wobble. How you feeling now?
Rachel gave a good explanation as to why the machines draw us in. They play on the human weakness of not wanting to be beat. Using rewards along the way to keep us enticed.
Keep strong and use the forum to vent your urges. It can be beaten.
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