My first day tomorrow

I had another wobble. no money involved though as i have no access. it was a free spin for joining on a site that i havent joined to be excluded. i excluded after the spins ran out but i still feel slightly ashamed having no willpower. i should of just deleted the email, however im happy there was no money lost. how ya gettin on? i havent been on here much cos works hectic at minute x

yeah, i feel guilty about all the times my son must have been looking at me but my head was buried in my phone, makes me sad actually. good luck on your journey rachel x

think i made it too easy for myself by knowing the password for parental controls, hubby can change it to a secret one tomorrow

Hi lilly

you can look at it 2 ways yes you had a wobble, but you did exclude and that is brilliant I think. Don't be ashamed these thoughts and feeling are what send us back to old ways, be proud that you have started on your road to recovery.

Have faith, hope and the knowledge that you can do this,

Keep going and don't look back you are not going that way!

Best wishes Rachelx

i feel guilty for registering the joint credit card to it. would never dream of spending using that though. i dont actually miss the gambling. how you findin it? x

Hi lily

I don't really miss the gambling either, to be honest it makes me feel physically sick (I don't mind if it stays that way) but I have tried to stop before so I know I have to keep my wits about me and stay in control!

Feel free to have a look at my diary it will explain a bit more about me.

Rachelx

Hi lilly,
Read about your wobble, well done on the blocking.
As you must be aware will power alone is not enough of a deterrent.
You have to remember as a Cg we are adept at finding ways to enable us to feed our addiction.
Imagine all the ways you could get credit and put blocks in place, tell your husband how you could. I found it took a lot of pressure of me knowing that someone was aware of my ability to get money. My partner keeps all the money even walking over the shops with me to buy essential items.
It helps me immensely and takes away a lot of the temptation.
Keep strong the fight can be won. Speak soon. Galaxy52tsv

it was a joint card, i had it on me ready to book a holiday but havent found one i like yet. the only thing stopping me doing it was that it wasnt just my money. ive been a bit preoccupied with work lately to come on chat or update this but im doin good. everyday i think less of slots and more about normal things. ill tale a look now rachel 🙂 x

How's things?

Rachelx

Hi Lilly

Hope your OK!

Rachelx

hi, sorry i havent been on. I've been working loads and after work been looking at holidays, i became obsessive! thought i best update my log. i cant lie, i think about my favourite slot all the time! but i find new things to focus on which is helping. it was nice to hear that your still on track in the chatroom xx

Hi

Glad your ok, was nice to "speak" to you to. It's funny I still think of my favourite too, it's the one I lost the most on! Bludy machines!

Keep going xxx

yep, mine wasnt that great come to think of it, but i loved the bonus rounds. still gamble free! its harder at night times once my son has gone to bed and hubby goes up early too as hes up at 3am. so ive decided to get my bikini body....HA. im eating those mcvitie chunky cookies as i type. hopefully this feeling eases up soon

quick update. I always forget to update. still going strong. my fingers are chewed to bits and im climbing the walls but still gamble free. hopefully this feeling will be a distant memory soon