My first diary!

Morning All,

Day 55 - I have only just got up, for an early riser this is one huge lie in I must have needed it big time. I got through a mini challenge last night without any great issue. Spent most of the evening at home alone. Not once did the thought of having a bet cross my mind.

I did have a half hour spell where I was a bit hacked off that I had no money at all on me. I wanted to pop out and get some food. I had told myself I was not satisfied with what was on offer in the house. However, I worked through it and quickly realised what was in the house was perfectly adequate and the money wasn't needed at all.

I was pleased with this as I cannot really think of any time I have been on my own for a prolonged period of time since I stopped 55 days ago. The best bit was not wanting to gamble and I think I am now out of the routine which was dominated by gambling.

Obviously there is still a million miles to go in my recovery but I do feel I have broken the habit, I guess beating the compulsion is another matter entirely and may well be impossible I guess this is why we are told to tie up our money, and tie up our time as best we can. Still, I write this morning with a sense of optimism.

My little titbit this morning then to all those starting their journey. We are compulsive gamblers and this we cannot change, we are always one bet away from further disaster, turmoil, and agony. But, if you can break the habit, if you can get barriers in place, if gambling doesn't dominate your day, you really can move forward and make life far more enjoyable for both yourself and those closest to you.

Day 55 - Just for today real optimism!

Thank you so much for the post flagg my next target is 90 days. Its amazing what you can do once you get your mind back from gambling . I have so much hope for the future and it feels good. Well done on last night be proud flagg another battle won . Blondie day 40 x

Goodmorning just,

I do not mind you being nosey, but if I tell you I would have to kill you . Lol

I wrote you a big long post explaining what I do. I deleted it 2 hrs later.

I really worry about my anominity . I am quite paranoid about my working finding out.

So the mystery will continue.........

Anyways enough about me, well done for last night.

I soooo agree with you long term recovery is not just about not having a bet, it is also about changing the way we think, and the way behave.

Take care my friend.

Dusty xx

Hi Flagg..

Thank you so much for being there whilst I've been in a very dark place.....

think i'm coming out again...Your right about honesty..I sure do express it otherwise it festers.

your support has been appreciated flagg and hopefully I can start giving back again

rachel and dotty xx

hi Flagg....am still churning out the s**t but think there is some light coming ...xx

thanks again for being there xxx

Rach and Dotty xxx

Hi Flagg,

56 days bet free for you today mate, well done indeed. I too get frustrated sometimes when there is no food in the house. I am not a great cook you see and now that I don't gamble, I am finding I am eating more takeouts and you need money to buy those, which my parents hold.

Have a great day today, not sure what the weather is going to do but at least we know tomorrow and Tuesday are off.

Wilsy

Happy Sunday,

Day 56 - Thanks to everyone for your posts! The beauty of this site is the massive difference between each and every one of us and yet we are all pooled together and have one common goal to improve our lives and rid them of gambling!

I'm happy to say I've reached the 8 week mark not quite without incident and not quite stress free but I made it and I must say it hasn't been quite as difficult as I feared! I'm not saying this is easy, not in any way shape or form am I suggesting that but I learned extremely quickly you can put plenty of

Measures in place to aid you in your journey! I'm very fortunate I have lots of support, I attend GA and I post here daily but honestly to those just starting the journey, it is very achievable if you really want to do it and are prepared to accept help available!

I hope everyone has a nice day!

Day 56 - 8 Weeks DONE!!

Hi ya,

8 weeks, think a lot of it has to do with how you have this amazing ability to find the positives in so much.

Our fav tattooed chef is always on about the cup being half full, but not only do you live it day in day out, for some reason, you have had a profound effect on me .

Some of your posts to me in the last 8 weeks , have really made me go back and turn my negative out look into a positive one. For that I can not thank you enough.

You should be so so proud today ,

Dusty xxxx

Hi Flagg

Great post u just talk so much sense in whatever u say , thank u for ur post on my diary and again it made a lot of sense where as I was been a bit disillusioned by it all and still am if I am honest

But yet the main aim why we are all here is to beat this illness and like u in ur 8 weeks it's been achieved by been determined making the right decisions and choosing not to gamble , but could we av done that without the amazing help and support of everyone on here . For me I doubt it

Yes it definitely gets easier the urges start to go our minds think more clearly and can now see what gambling did to us we know we will never go back , so that leads to why do of live in fear that we will is it because we know the disease lies dormant inside us ready to pounce

For me that is what I am tryin to work out the problems for gambling av gone but the problems in life will sometimes be there which is where many of us gambled by not facing up to our problems

So when our problems in life get really bad will this make us gamble and for me that is the ultimate question , unfortunately the question will remain with us forever

We can go on and live a happy life without gambling again and that's something we now both realise as at the beginning of our journey we did not know , so the progress we av made is a credit to us both

Mostly I would like to thank u for reminding me u av become a good friend with so many wise and supportive words together we can keep takin those next steps forward in our recoveries

Take care

Castle2

Hi Flagg, thank u 4 ur support on my diary. It means alot 🙂

Well done on the 56 days gamble free, u should be sooo proud of urself!

Ur determination shines thru 🙂

U r sooo supportive 2 others on here and it means alot 🙂

U r doing brilliant!

I hope u r having a gr8 day!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hi Flagg

Just a quick one in return , after a week of uncertainty and some too much over thinkin ur post hit home like a dream and has got me right back on track , yes there were many others of support but yours was when one that made me sit up and realise shake myself down and just get back on with it

So thank u so much be proud of urself

Castle2

Hi Flagg

So much for lovely post on mine 🙂

Flagg you are the one doing this and you are the one staying bet free and it's just soooo good to see that you are going from strength to strength

My support to others helps me as much as I hope it helps in some small way to you all too , it helps to see different perspectives and if we can take a little bit from each other then we can continue on our recovery journeys

Your support means loads too and my heartfelt thanks to you also

Continue soaring high Flagg , life's so much better bet free don't you think ?

Keep strong

Lucy

Hiya flagg...

Pulling up back onto the ledge with our fairy and all the people on here such as your good self too,,,,,

Been in the dark but can see some light....

as you said ..we are all here coming at it from different angles and backgrounds and histories ..yet we all pull together and make it work...hoisting each other back to wellness...

Thanks once again for being there and also for your own determination to stay bet free...

Keep flying the Flagg ..

Hugs

Rachel and Dotty xx

Diary,

Day 57 - I had a re-read of my diary last night just to remind myself that despite the bad days and the fluctuating moods, I am making progress! I started this diary because I wanted to stop gambling and so far I have achieved this! Along the way I have discovered its not just about beating the addiction but also about rediscovering a lost personality, one whose speed became constant fast forward, never stopping to help or support anyone who may have needed him, and prob most importantly if somewhat selfishly never stopped to help himself!

I mentioned a couple of days ago the feeling that I had broken the gambling habit. The day to day life where gambling ruled over everything has gone I stand by that statement! Yes, I remain guarded and focussed on keeping it that way but now is the time to take on a second challenge one which runs alongside the fight to remain bet free! Now this is where I am stuck I feel weak, I don't feel strong enough to beat everything and fortunately I know I don't need too! However, I want to beat one thing or address one thing but I can't decide which issue to focus on!

My intention today is to re-read my personal inventory and select one of the negatives to focus some

Of my strength on! I have out everything an more into stopping gambling! Yes, it's early days and I will

Continue to fight it with real determination but now is the time to redistribute my focus and take on a second challenge alongside the mammoth one I feel now is dormant!

To anyone reading please focus on the word dormant I am not suggesting in any way at all gambling is gone from my thoughts, my psyche, my life because it never will be it lies there waiting to erupt and bury me if given half a chance! However, the last 56 days my whole life has still revolved around gambling, yes in a positive sense by concentrating on stopping but it's still dominated! Now is the time to say there's more to life and gambling will be put to rest, I hope permanently!

Day 57 - Gambling is no longer my life!!

flagg.

Keep up the great effort my friend to abstain from gambling and life will continue to get brighte.r.Well done keep makinf that choice every day.

Duncs compulsive gambler NO BET today