My Journey

....so now go...walkout the door..just turn around now...AAARRGHHH!....have now got that ear worm song in my head now!!

Just popping in Sue to say a big hello and thank you for popping onto my diary....choccy bics and kettle on at all times ...

All of us on here no matter what 'side" have a relatedness and we can all help each other to recover and get on the right path....

Keep singing....and keep on keeping on ...

I shall look out for you

Rach xx

Hi Sue,

U r doing gr8, ur determination shines thru 🙂

Stay strong and keep going xx

Hi Diary...and dear friends.

What can I say but thank you all so very much, the support you have given me. I honestly believe that if I was left to my own devices that devil on my shoulder would be winning!

But NO Gamcare and my friends are pulling me through, Somehow I feel a little different inside this time.

Only a week ago I was in a dark and evil place, now I can feel the sun shining (even though its peeing down)

Have been racking my brains because I am off next week and need my cards about how to handle this, I didn't want any temptation whatsoever. Anyways I had a LIGHTBULB moment, going to tell mum to lock them in her safe( for safety) Dont know the code !!! and just take them when I am out, will need them when I visit daughter. After the past I really don't want any" temptation" song anyone lol

So Sue signing off for today

Day 7 AND strong as ever!

Peace and Love to all

Sue xxx

HI Sue,

Thank you for the post, Day 7 and your doing great and thinking about how you can make it more difficult for those demons to break through, blocks can be really helpful when resolve is low, my analygy is your adding some more pieces of metal to your armour.

Keep going sue each day will build your strength.

Blondie xxx

d**n right blondie...Not going to leave anything to chance...We know where that leads!

Meant to say also in my previous post...Not cried for 3 days (I think)Things on the up!!

higher and higher.......temptation.....aarrghhhhhhh ...you got me!

Have a good evening Sue .....you're getting it all out and thats whats its all about...........(cue another tune?............)

Seriously hun...your doing fab...keep on keeping on xxx

hugs

Rach x

Oh Rach.....You got me girl....Knees bend, arm stretch...ra ra ra.........Made me laugh!

Well here we are DAY 8....How good does that sound? This time last week I was curled up in bed, crying and wallowing in self pity. A far cry from today. Have done loads little jobs, brownie points earned with mum and my neighbours.

As for gambling thoughts mmmm still thinking quite a bit at times but more in regret for money lost, I know I cant get it back and need to just forget about it. I really dont even feel tempted to try and win it back cos I know what would happen.

This evening I think I will cook mum a nice dinner and spoil her with a glass of wine. Tomorrow I need to get out and do something for myself. Think I will go to my local to watch the footie. It does feel quite strange to go out socially again as I have neglected my friends for quite sometime. I have told a couple of them but to be honest I dont think they understand the severity of the illness. I actually feel quite nervous about going out but the longer I stay at home and mope the harder it will be.

Thats my plans anyway for the next 24 hours.

Signing off now.

Sue...still going strong xx

Thanx for your post. Get yourself out an have a good time your only young once xx

Hey Hun,

I see the mighty Rach has made contact with you,if your down this is one woman who will lift you straight out she has sound advice.

Defo think its time for you to make use of those friends even if they dont really understand if they are around to go for a drink,spot of lunch,go see a film its another couple of hrs not sat doing nothing,talking yourself out of going online,busy busy is the key until that becomes normal and being online is unusual.

Keep up the good work hunyour doing just fine.

Stay Strong

E xx

Hi Sue,

Thanks for your message. I hope that you are having a good weekend. I think that i'd better go for a run today if my bump is starting to show!! Stay strong and keep smiling.

Take care

Dave X

Morning Sue,

Hope the meal and wine went down well!

You are really going great Sue, early days but your change is soooo evident to see in such a short time.

Going out , getting time with friends again, i was there Sue and you know if they are your true friends they will welcome you back with open arms 😉

My best friend keeps sending me texts saying she loves me and that she is sooooo happy to have the old Lucy coming back!

If you go footie, hope it's a good game and i hope you have a great bet free sunday

Keep Strong , your doing great!

Smiling Lucy xx

Hi there,

Just wanted to say thanks for the post and well done for coming on here.

I know things have been hard but just try and think of every day as a day further away from your last bet/gamble. Be mindful every time the urge sneaks up on you and force yourself mot to give in. That way you can take pride in thinking that these huge corporations with all their psychologists and computer programmes designed to take your money were not able to beat you.

Keep strong

OS

Hope you enjoyed your meal last night - those small treats make our recovery journeys well worthwhile.

8 days, now 9 is brilliant. Keep comparing with how you felt when you first came on here and how you feel now.

NT

Hi Sue,

U r doing gr8, ur determination shines thru 🙂

I hope u r having a gr8 wknd!

Stay strong and keep going xxxx

10 days.....Happy double figures to me...La la la!

Thank you so much everyone for the lovely posts,

I truly believe that having this diary is my key to beating this illness. Never before have I Felt more determined to quit.

Had a lovely saturday...wine and meal with mum.

Sunday.....Yep...Suzie back out on the scene!

Went out to the pub....Met friends . lucy you are right in what you say about if they are true friends they will welcome you back with open arms........And they did!!!

Had a wonderful time.............

Only drawback on the day (apart from England losing) was My ex was in the bar.........It has taken me years to get over what he did to me, I can honestly say that for the first time since we split I didn't feel anger......Now I looked at him and just felt pity really. I feel safe now knowing he can never hurt me again. If I had seen him before it would send me rushing to the slots to block out all those painfull feelings.......Not anymore........Why....I'll tell you why....I don't gamble!!!!!!

I did wake up with a headbanger of a hangover today though...........Bit it was a million times better than the feeling you get when you have wasted thousands of pounds.

Bring on day 11....and a vist to my Daughters.

Sue XXXXX