My Journey - 17/05/2020

Bula,

it's great you have a plan and a desire to stop gambling.

When this lockdown is over please get in contact with Gamblers anonymous and attend their meetings. There you will find that stopping gambling is one thing and staying off gambling is about change. They have great examples of long term members who have worked a recovery program to stay clean. Clean mind as well as clean off a bet.

Give the advisers here a call and talk. Talk about how your are, how you feel and share anything that may be a problem to you. You might also like to look at your debts and although it's honourable to want then cleared quickly, you need to live in the now as well. If all you do is work, pay off debts and survive, at some point you're likely to feel sorry for yourself and that's not healthy behaviour if it's left unchecked.

Finally, and this is experience and GA advice, don't make any big statements like promising not to bet for two years and clearing all debts. I promise and I'm sorry were the two most used phrases I ever said and I meant them at the time but I always over promised. Don't worry about two years of not betting. Just do it a day at a time. Just for today don't have a bet. If that gets tough then just don't bet for the next hour. Small, achievable steps. Those steps will add up, one day at a time. In the last four years you haven't been able to stop for two years so what makes you think you can now? But you can do a day at a time, that's achievable.

Good luck to you.

Chris.

Thanks Chris - I really liked your comment. I will look into GA, and yes I did make some big statements in my original post. Possibly to prove to myself that I will beat it this time. But yes, one day at a time will be the way forward. Thank you.

Day 1 - Taking advice and I'm not going to look too far ahead into the future. Just take each day as it comes. I'm trying to also spend less time on the computer, as when I spend too much time on it I can get bored and do something stupid. So today I did some work, wrote this post and now I'm going to turn my computer off and do something else. I would usually go to the gym but it's all closed... 

Day 2 - An earlier post, but that's because I don't plan on being online later. I'm quickly doing some work then going out to enjoy the sun. I shouldn't think about it too much as I can get easily overwhelmed, but I am looking forward to the future. But for now, taking each day as it comes, I am not gambling today.

Day 3 - The initial few days of regret have passed. After I gamble I always have a dark cloud hanging over me for a few days. Think that's gone now, looking brighter. Still thinking about if there are anymore barriers I can put in place. Spending the day doing some university work and browsing the web. Onto the rest of the week. I hope everyone is having a good week!

Day 4 - Gambling thoughts last night.. Managed to take my mind elsewhere and here I am still gamble free. Onto the rest of the week.

Lots of things going on in life at the moment. Personal things, up to my eyes in university work and feel all over the place. Going to get my head down for the rest of the week and crack on with what I need to do, then come back at the start of a fresh month. I hope everyone is doing well. 

Hello Bula. Hope you are feeling ok

Sorry to see from your profile that you slipped up a couple of days ago but if you have learned from it than that is good.

You are still young, intelligent and hard working so you can rebuild your life provided you don't gamble.

Wishing you every success in your life changing adventure.

Stephen 

Day 1 - I've decided to come back fresh on the start of a new month. The last week has been a struggle for me, but I've come through the other side of it now. I had so much work to do, that is now done, thank god. I wasn't successful in staying gamble free but now I have even more blocks in place. I made the decision to but GamBan on my laptop. No more access to gambling sites. My phone already has a block. That should be it now, I can't see another way to gamble. In terms of the slip up, I didn't gamble loads of money, but thats not the point. I gambled and that's what I come here to try and not do. I'm going to take each day as it comes, hope everyone has a good week ahead of them!

Hey bula, best of luck going forward. Well done on coming back and starting again. I think pretty much everybody on here has re-lapsed at some point or another, so just important we learn from our mistakes and look ahead instead of thinking of the past.

It sounds like you've done that by putting more blocks in place. 

By the way, do you think your university work and the stress of it is a trigger for your gambling? I only ask because it certainly was for me about 10 years ago when I was at uni. If it is, maybe think of the best way to work through that stress without your mind diverting towards gambling. I know you have the blocks in place but it would be good if you another outlet you could turn your attention to when you feel the university work getting on top of you. 

@david31 - Yes it's usually the gym that I turn to but at the moment they are closed so I'm unable to do that. I'm looking forward to it re-opening!

Day 2 - I have urges. I'm just trying my best to keep myself occupied and keep my mind off of it. I know from past experience that my urges will die down after a few days. The beginning is always the hardest.

Day 3 - I done well last night. I had a lot of gambling thoughts but managed to stay away and push them to the back of my mind by doing other things. The plan for today is to take a step back and just relax. I won't check to see if any football or sports are on, why would I need to. I would only do that if I wanted a gamble. Almost halfway mark to a week gf. Good luck everyone

Day 4 - Only just turned my computer on and its 3pm. I think that's pretty good, occupying my time elsewhere. Still gamble free, and thats all that matters.