Hi everyone.
So today's the day I started my journey. I remember the first time I gambled was on a £5 jackpot fruit machine in one of my favourite bars about 3 years ago. Like we all know, it started off as a bit of harmless fun with beer change. It stayed like this for a few months, but I started to spend more and more time with a couple of friends who gambled a lot. We'd go on gambling day trips to seaside arcades, go around all the pubs and play the fruit machines, it was a buzz. I started neglecting my girlfriend and my family and would rather hang out with these guys and go gambling. Before I knew it I was taking out payday loans as my £300 a week temporary job salary just wasn't enough. I couldn't pay them back, and my credit rating took a hammering. I split up with my girlfriend, and found myself in a pretty dark place.
This wasn't enough for me though, and I was back gambling within a couple of weeks. The only time I wouldn't be gambling was when I had no money, and then i'd be trawling the internet for payday loan sites which would accept me. Around July of 2015 I got a seriously good job offer which required me to move away from the friends I gambled with. I took the job, and established myself in my new home. I now had rent and bills to pay, and food to put on the table. I said to myself this is my fresh start, let's knock this horrible habit on the head. For about 2 months it was brilliant, I still had the urges to gamble but I was able to control them, part of it was I never really gambled alone and I didn't have any "gambling buddies" up here. Then I discovered online gambling.
All it took was a couple of nice wins to completely hook me. I was burning through my entire paychecks online and leaving myself absolute pittence to survive the rest of the month off. I took out more payday loans, and paid them back each month at the cost of £300 - £400 interest per month. My emotional state became worse and worse, I stopped going to the gym, started getting out of shape, became depressed. Fast forward until today. My paycheck came in overnight and by the time i'd woken up I had £100 left due to all the loan repayments. For the whole month, bills, rent, everything. Only way I can cope is to take out those payday loans again, hit up online and hope for a decent win.
No, not this time. I'm not doing it anymore. I got on the phone to my mum and told her everything. We spoke for a long time. She told my dad. They're supportive and understanding. My rent's paid, I've got money for food and bills courtesy of them. I'm planning on signing up to StepChange to start clearing all the debt I racked up in the past. I've downloaded software to block gambling sites on my computer, and finally feel a determination i've not felt before to kick this horrible, crippling disease once and for all. I'm seeking help from Occupational Health at work, and signed up here in the hope I can read other people stories, and get some invaluable advice from you strong people out there who have kicked the habit.
So here goes. Day one. So far so good.
Thanks for reading,
Lando
Hello Lando and welcome to the forum,
Tbf you done something not seemed that often with new members. And you've started all the practical steps already . Like telling the parents and so on so well done to you and will look forward to reading more of your story. All the best for now
Deano
Hey Lando. Well done on making the first step! You are doing the right thing and it will get easier over time. Im on day 102, if I had any advice it would be :
-Limit your access to money of any kind ie debit/credit cards
-Talk to Gamcare, They normally have local councilling available which personally I have found very helpful.
-Make a point of coming on here as often as you feel necessary to give you a focus point.
And finally, try to get out of the mindset that a win would fix things. Because weve all been there and feel exactly the same but in reality it would make no difference as we would have gambled it almost straight away anyway.
Anyway, different things work for different people, but youve don great in telling your family and work etc and coming on here. Best of luck!
Hey lando,
Good luck. You seem to have put some things in place to help. I am so pleased for you, that your mam and dad know and are supporting you. Get onto Step Change, I have never used them, but they are great to deal with and I have heard they are so supportive. Gamcare is a great resource, read people's diaries, we are all going through similar stuff.
I look forward to hearing about your progress and welcome to Gamcare.
Julie x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
