My life with addiction

Thanks, hey been trying to ring you, that number won't work lol.

They might have been twenty years ago. It's genetic.

Oh that's clever , see what CW did there ? dangling those fat genetic fingers in front of you ! just bait Dan , just bait !.

I know! But Alan I see you too. Reverse psychology, you want to talk about but don't want the flack raising ones head over the parapet involves, so tease Dan out. Let the big bad wolf get the grief that having a contentious opinion generates 😉

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day@atime wrote:

I know! But Alan I see you too. Reverse psychology, you want to talk about it but don't want the flack raising ones head over the parapet involves, so tease Dan out. Let the big bad wolf get the grief that having a contentious opinion generates 😉

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b****r! Foiled again !

day@atime wrote: It seems relapse is accepted as normal or as part of the process. I found this article by a great writer in the addiction field. It explains why it isnt much better than i could. One does not have to travel far in the Addiction arena to hear the phrase, “relapse is part of recovery.” The history of the phrase is unclear, although it seems to be of relatively recent origin. The phrase was not present when I entered the worlds of addiction treatment and recovery in the late 1960s. It began appearing with some frequency in addiction treatment conferences and trade journals in the late 1970s and 1980s and inevitably seeped into the meeting rooms of various recovery fellowships. I suspect the early intent of this phrase was a benign one—offering solace and hope to individuals (and their families) being readmitted to addiction treatment or returning to a recovery mutual aid fellowship following additional “research.” One can easily imagine how a counselor or sponsor would positively spin renewed recovery initiation efforts by pointing out important lessons that could possibly be extracted from the recent experience of resumed gambling. However, those good intentions obscure the harm that has come from this simple idea and phrase. It is time—no, past time—we as addiction professionals and recovery advocates abandoned the idea and the phrase. Here are six reasons why. 1. “Relapse is part of recovery” blurs the distinction between pathology and health. One does not hear people describing a reoccurrence of cancer, heart attack, or stroke as part of their recovery from these disorders. Marrying relapse and recovery attaches unwarranted value and nobility to the resumption of gambling and its inevitable consequences. Let’s be very clear: the resumption of gambling by someone with a history of addiction is part of the addiction process—in fact, such persistent use is part of the defining criteria of addiction, not part of the process of getting well. Symptoms of illness and progress towards recovery co-exist for most disorders, particularly chronic disorders, but framing symptoms of illness within a recovery rubric destroys the very meaning of recovery. Casting relapse as a dimension of recovery is more than the medical equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig; it injects pathology within the very concept of health and wellness. Illness and health by definition constitute different states. Mushy Ideas and language that blur this distinction undermine addiction recovery by failing to clearly delineate the condition one is seeking to escape from the state to which one is aspiring. “Relapse is part of recovery” has currency only when one has not yet fully experienced the latter. 2. “Relapse is part of recovery” fails to acknowledge the potential for permanent recovery with no continued episodes of gambling. As such, it sets the bar of recovery low, fueling pessimism and deflated expectations for people seeking recovery, their families, their employers, and others with significant influence in their lives. A significant percentage of people completing addiction treatment and/or joining an addiction recovery mutual aid society will never use alcohol or other drugs again in their lives. It is time we acknowledged and celebrated that achievement and that potential for others newly seeking recovery. 3. “Relapse is part of recovery” minimizes the pain and potential loss of life involved in the resumption of gambling. Resumption of gambling within a prolonged addiction career can bring devastating and potentially fatal consequences. Masking this harsh reality behind phrases that portray such use as a helpful learning experience offensive and a disservice to everyone. 4. “Relapse is part of recovery” offers the person seeking recovery an invitation and excuse for continued use. By normalizing episodes of continued gambling, the phrase may well create its own self-fulfilling prophecy. Early recovery from addiction is often characterized by extreme ambivalence about both continued gamblingand cessation of gambling. In the face of such ambivalence, successful recovery involves creating as much distance as possible between oneself and the recently severed gambling relationship. The phrase “relapse is part of recovery” shortens rather than lengthens that distance. People often bring impaired and distorted thinking to the act of recovery initiation. What is needed in this state are clear language and ideas about what constitutes progress towards health or regression towards re-addiction. “Relapse is part of recovery” lacks this critically needed clarity. 5. “Relapse is part of recovery” is a thin line away from the “once an addict, always an addict” mantra that has fueled decades of addiction-related social stigma. Such language contributes to social stigma by obscuring the potential for and prevalence of full recovery. What does this phrase mean to the spouse or partner deciding whether to remain in a relationship with a person seeking recovery? To the potential employer? To the landlord deciding whether to rent an apartment? To the child welfare worker deciding whether to recommend reunification of a mother and her children? To members of academic admissions committees? To loan officers? To life and health insurance carriers? 6. “Relapse is part of recovery” provides addiction treatment programs an escape from accountability for post-treatment recovery outcomes. It constitutes a request by treatment organizations for a blank check to continually readmit patients who have failed to achieve stable recovery and the right to place responsibility for continued gambling on the nature of addiction recovery and not the inadequate quality treatment methods. The phrase “relapse is part of recovery” has reaped significant financial rewards for the addiction treatment industry, but it has also contributed to public pessimism about addiction treatment. The addiction treatment industry should not be allowed to escape accountability for recovery outcomes nor financially exploit its patients within the shroud of such euphemisms. Addiction and recovery processes are far too complex to easily capture in simplistic slogans. It is my suggestion that the phrase “relapse is part of recovery” be immediately replaced with statements that are more morally neutral (See White & Ali, 2010), behaviorally precise, scientifically defensible, and therapeutically beneficial. In summary, such statements could include the following: п‚· Episodes of continued gambling by people addicted are not an inevitable dimension of long-term addiction recovery. п‚· Many people who commit themselves to an addiction recovery process will never resume gambling in their lives following this commitment to self and others. More than half of all people who seek abstinence as a solution to gamblingnproblems via their admission to addiction treatment will gamble again at least once following their initial resolution to stop use and before they achieve stable (permanently sustainable) recovery. п‚· An episode of gambling following recovery initiation does not mean that permanent recovery in the future is not possible, but such episodes constitute part of the residual addiction process, not part of the recovery process. п‚· Episodes of gambling are not part of long-term recovery, but the self-evaluation and recommitment following such episodes may for some individuals serve to bolster future recovery stability. п‚· There are sources of heightened recovery commitment (other than renewed episodes of gambling) that do not involve such risks of harm to self and others (e.g., prolonged addiction, imprisonment, and death). п‚· Not everyone who achieves a period of prolonged recovery who then resumes gambling is able to re-initiate recovery. The adage that people may have another binge in them but possibly not another recovery is confirmed anew every day. A
ny potential lesson gained from renewed gambling is more than neutralized by threats such use poses to others and to oneself. Continued episodes of gambling fuels guilt and shame, exhausts relational recovery capital, and reduces the prognosis for long-term recovery and quality of life in recovery. п‚· Quality of addiction treatment is best measured via long-term addiction recovery—recoveries within which episodes of post- treatment AOD use are eliminated or reduced in number, duration, intensity, and consequences. п‚· Rates of post-treatment recovery and post-treatment AOD use vary considerably across treatment programs and across addiction counselors. Programs and individual counselors should be held accountable for such outcomes. Recovery is emerging as an organizing construct for addiction treatment and the larger cultural resolution of gamblingl and other addiction problems. Injecting relapse into the concept of recovery is a step backward for affected individuals and families, for the addiction treatment industry, and for society as a whole. Relapse is NOT part of addiction recovery.

Ribit

Despite the many millions of pounds spent tyring to find the addiction gene, no biological or genetic mechanisms have been identified that account for addictive behaviour.

That said statistics show children of addicts are 8 times more likely to develop an addiction than those not exposed to it.

That would point to it being your environment & the individuals reaction to it rather than it being genetic.

If i come from a long line of accountants, its more likely i will become an accountant. There are no statistics for this, but if i were to take an educated guess at them, i would say i would probably be about 8 times more likely to become an accountant tnan if i had never encountered accountancy.

People who are sexually abused as children are statistically more likely than those that havnt, to grow up to be abusers themselves. So is paedophilia genetic? I would most certainly say not.

Two opposite ends of the spectrum obviously.

If we grow up in a house with addiction, does it not stand to reason we learn that behaviour, it gets normalized. If mum or dad have no adequate coping stratagies to deal with life, how on earth could they pass on to their children the correct way to deal with emotions & feelings. They will pass on what they know. That you sweep things under the carpet, you wish problems away & you bury your head in the sand at the merest hint of trouble. You stick your fingers in your ears & scream la la la.

When talk turns to genetics in the addiction field, twin studies are what are generally refered to. Although identical twins do have a higher rate of both having an addiction than non identical ones its not particularly significant. And most identical twins if one is addicted the other generally isnt. That again would point to its the individuals perception of their environment.

I want to make clear im not placing the blame of addiction at parents doors. Its the addicts perception of their environment that is the driving force. That is our illness, perception.

Now the good news. Yes your children are more likely to become addicts if you are one. But it doesnt have to be so , it doesnt need to be your legacy to them. You can help your children lead happy, healthy, productive. passionate lives, by teaching them healthy coping skills. You have the opportunity today to be an example of how to squarly face up to all that life has to throw our way. Be an example through your recovery.

One Breath

One Step

One Day At A Time

The one thing that really does get me is the thought that I am or may be failing the children. As the non-addict parent, what, specifically, can I do now, after ten plus years?

CW

Great post Dan, especially the last paragraph, thanks for sharing.

xxx

Hi Dan , I knew it was coming but well done great insight into my past life , my grandparents gambled , my parents gambled and I was always rewarded with the leftover coins from the winning bets ! . Great times for me and all good memories but what a legacy they left behind , all I remember was the joy on there faces when winning , Dogs , Horses , Bingo or the funfair the merories are ingrained absorbed and later in life much sought after for a repeat feeling , Wow !.

However am glad to report that niether of my children have shown that sort of interest in the gambling industry and I believe that me being open about my addiction / habit / genetic misfortune ?, has just strengthened there resolve !.

Cheers Dan , good post but I should leave the amphibian noises alone !

Cheers Dan

I knew you wouldn't resist for long 😉

How interesting...esp the bit about identical twins! Makes sense that it's not genetic as I've been struggling to figure it out from my end. Also makes sense that to take something up you have to be introduced to it in the 1st place! Are the studies the same (ish) for all types of addiction?

It is yet another superb post Dan.

And now im gonig to use your diary as a safety net before I get shot down, but as always an open mind with a flak jacket to boot. -

Gambling isn't addictive
Alcohol isn't addictive.
Drugs are not addictive.
So on and so on.

It's the escape which is the addiction, the chemical imbalance where we can't get our fix in the normality of life.

Now, head below the parapet .

No argument from me Paul on that statement. It is the importance of the feelings we attach to the behaviour, substance that is addictive. We use to create feellings or numb , simples. CW with you as their mother I'm pretty sire your kids are getting all the right guidance they need & with the great effort your husband is now putting in, I'm sure they will have great support from you both in future. Kels the studies are alcohol based but I'm sure they transcend all addictions & what happened to being blown out of the water! Suzanne thanks for your kindness. & Alan ribit, we will chat tomoz, I want to reply in detail but to be honest cant be ars ed tonight. X

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Good looking prog on C5 at mo on alcohol addiction. Plenty of parallels

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