My life with addiction

Had a bit of a moment yesterday where i thought its time to leave this forum. Sometimes the advice given or suggestions really makes me want to scream. Its not my place to judge or attempt to moderate & i need to remember that. Just because i see some advice as ludicrous so others will view mine in the same vane.
Learning to count to 10 to accept others opinions when i dont agree with them & not just react as i did for a long time is a work in progress for me.

Morning Dan,

Sorry to read you were feeling negative around the forum yesterday and I for one would not want you to leave, your experience and advice that you have given to me alone has been very inspiring for me.and I have taken it on board.

Suzanne xx

I have decided i want to get fit, i want a six pack!

Trouble is i dont want to change my lifestyle.
I want to carry on sitting on the sofa eating cake.
I want to carry on drinking wine while watching the box @ night
I dont want to go to the gym its too much effort to get there
I dont want to research how to improve my chances it might ask me to do something that makes me look at myself

I just want something that will do it all for me, so i dont have to make the effort myself

Any tips?

Dan

Great post Dan it says a hell of a lot, and a little bit about each and everyone of us if we are honest.

You will never get fit, unless you change within yourself,

DO NOTHING, NOTHING GETS DONE

CHANGING NOTHING, CHANGES.NOTHING.

There is no magic fairy out there to wave a magic wand or grant us our wishes, the only way to get fit is to get off the sofa and DO, SOMETHING ABOUT CHANGING your life, It's out there for all, you just have to go and get it/do it/ challenge it/ embrace it/ aim for it/ strive for it/ put 100% into it/ and really really want it, then you will get FIT.

Suzanne x

You have just made me laugh back, which is good for us, we do need a laugh, because being a CG can be soo serious at times.

because it is serious, everything we are depends on the right choices,we now make from now on.

Thank goodness OH has not spent 20k phew, he just does it in his office, multitasking saving the world on his Xbox and down loading all at the same time. he spends hours on his comp but Dan it does not cost a penny, he has no nasty vises lol.

Have been reading a bit on friends and family's forum, it brings it home but necessary in my recovery to keep moving on, I can relate to both sides as my 2 sons gamble, but one has a big problem with it, he was dire straits at Xmas and I did not give him one penny,, and guess what our mother son relationship.has got even closer. ( he knows all,about me )

Keep giving your knowledge, wisdom and experience out on here, everyone needs it whether they want it or not is there choice.

Suzanne xx

Maybe swapping normal cake for carrot cake - that's healthy right 😉

Ohhh Dan, what are we like 🙁 I don't even wanna six pack, I just want to walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath & a 5k parkrun every few weeks just ain't cutting the mustard ;-( You think a training thread would help? I'm a lazy cow, looking for inspiration but I'll settle for a dollop of motivation & you may have just provided it!

P.s: I didn't know whether to laugh @ your 'pilot'...He may be a 'loser' (street talk) but @ least he's got something to show for his 20k! Is it wrong that there's also a slim chance I may be slightly jelalous? Apart from the hat, it sounds pretty cool :-0

Flipping cheek 😉 You started saying you wanted to get fit & have a beer! Then you said you were a quite lazy & not sure you were ready to change! & then you asked for a Genie in a lamp to magic it all better!

I said eat more carrots (they make you skinny coz you can exercise in the dark), I refused to believe you are scared to look in case you might need to change (because you're a boy & boys know no fear) & lastly Suzanne won't get in her car & come & clean for us all so the houses just have to stay dirty!

Are you sure I missed the point?!? I was so proud of myself too as I am just about to post when I've finished eating everything in the fridge - Juuuuuune

I'm not even nuts ;-0

But yes, urges smurges indeed...Don't you wish you sometimes had the strength to act on the good ones? Hmmm... If only all desires to have a clean & tidy house didn't crop up when the Soaps were on 😉

I've decided the Ginger Freud will be my go to guy in future (can you see why I did so badly in my English exam - it 'spoke' about a man on the tube you could see right through & so all my answers made reference to a ghost!) the NM will be terrified to hear about a man who is able to document his feelings - to be honest it may even come as a bit of a shock to find a man that can write 😉

I am addiction
I start in small subtle ways promising you many things
I promise you enjoyment & pleasure beyond your wildest dreams
I deliver guilt & despair more horrible than your worst nightmare
I promise you power & courage
I give you feelings of powerlessness & hopelessness
I will force you to live in fear always
I promise you relief & escape from your daily problems
I create for you greater problems than you could ever have imagined
I promise you comfort
I will give you pain
I promise happiness
I create sorrow
I am addiction
I will steal your dignity,your family, your friends, your children, your home,your freedom, your dreams, your spirit, your life
For love, freedom & happiness are impossible to find in my presence
So never underestimate me as i am devious & manipulating
I have no preference to who i pick as my victim
Rich poor young old black white yellow or red
I have killed men women & children
So if you have met me then always beware
For if you think you can beat me & i will be gone from your life forever & all will be well, never forget this
I will be waiting in the dark shadows patiently for you
Ready & waiting to laugh in your face if i can lure you into my evil world of hell on earth
For i am addiction

Something i was given @ one of my early GA meetings

My way or the highway merchant
A snappy little man
A person who now seems to be going on a smarm offensive

Just a couple of insults on my personality that have been thrown my way by a certain person.
I have never levelled a disparaging attack on anyones personality on here .

I have questioned somes commitment to quitting. I have asked them to look to see if they could do more to help themselves but never in nearly 8 years in recovery have i made personal remarks about anyone.

Peace out brothers & sisters i wish you all well

Dan. I dare say that you cannot help or please everyone. I have been offended by many a person on this site. Very well-meaning people whose frank advice did not quite meet the criteria of wooly advice that my selfish, attention-seeking gambling persona was craving. Presently, unintoxicated by a gambling haze and looking back I can see how right these people were. I for one appreciate your presence and your support. Well wishes straight back at you. Mark.

Hi Dan,

I must have missed something there, as I have no idea what's gone on with negative posts???....

I was just dropping in to your diary to say what a great post you wrote back on Tuesday 10th, about a guy returning to GA after 12 months. And although he had not gambled for a year, he still felt he had issues with addictive behaviour.

I can really relate to that, and thank you for posting about it. I have noticed that recently in my own habits. And although I am not gambling, I am compulsive in other ways........

Keep strong and keep posting mate.

Ade

Two GA meetings since my last posts 29 people joining together to make their tomorrows a brighter prospect.
Of the 4 new members from last week 2 returned looking happier, less stressed & more comfortable in their own skin. The 2 who did not return & can only wish them well.
GA is not for everyone & it will certainly not work for those looking for instant results & quick fixes to control their gambling, to stop losing money but to retain the release from their personal realities they find in addiction.
GA will work for those prepared to invest their time in what it has to offer. Very few people who attend @ least 1 meeting a week relapse. Those who come sporadically , go away for weeks @ a time because they think that 2 weeks of abstinence proves they no longer have a problem relapse frequently.
Now i know i can come across as a bit of a rabid GA fundamentalist & i REALLY do know that GA is not the answer for everyone ,but although the phrase recovery is bespoke holds some truth it can be interpreted as im not going to do anything other than wish this addiction away.

Abstinence & then recovery for 99% of people has to follow some basic principles to work long term , these start with very simple introduction of barriers that should not be a problem for anybody to introduce if they have a genuine desire to stop using.

Be honest with both yourself & those around you. Complete transparency of your situation is vital. Lies & deceit will always take you back.

Hand over financial control. You cannot be trusted with money. Its simple without funds its impossible to gamble.

Fill your time. Your going to get bored. Your whole life revolved around gambling, theres going to be a void to be filled. Find something new to get excited about. Hell you could even spend this new time thinking about how you can continue to recover.

Change your enviroment. Is work, homelife, the life you lead unsatisfactory to you. Is this something that needs changing for you to find peace.

Stop associating with friends who gamble , avoid watching & reading things that create an urge within you to gamble.

These are fairly simple things that can be done by anyone with a mind to do so & will almost guarantee abstinence if they are put in place & stay in place.

Recovery now thats where things get a little more tricky .....

Great post Dan , good to see you posting again.

Continued strength to you!

Sandra