My life with addiction

Here is a quick test:

If you have never changed your mind about some fundamental tenet of your belief, if you have never questioned the basics, and if you have no wish to do so, then you are likely ignorant.

Before it is too late, go out there and find someone who, in your opinion, believes, assumes, or considers certain things very strongly and very differently from you, and just have a basic honest conversation.

It will do both of you good.

Words stolen from someone much wiser than me

Hello all,

Just a reminder about sharing support on the forum; if you want share constructive feedback with another member about how they communicate on the forum, it is more likely to be helpful if it is specific, timely, and about something the recipient can change. Please avoid posting negative comments about another forum member's personality. Remember the purpose of the forum is to share peer support for recovery from problem gambling, with respect and consideration for each other.

Thanks,

Forum Admin.

Admin. I would actually like the negative posts & personal attacks on me reinstated that you deleted, if thats possible. I thought they showed perfectly well how the addicted mind reacted to anyone challenging their ideas. Anger, venom a blind faith in their own ability to manage their own addiction. Either pull the whole post or none of if. Editing gives a false impression of the intended content.

Dan...i get it...just get what you have always tried to get through to me.
I thank you for being you...
Stay real ok...i ask you from deepness of my heart...be YOU

S X

I don't get it, you challenged someone's ideas, something no-one has a right to do IMO, and they, rightly, reacted.

Challenging someone's ideas is not helping or giving advice, which is surely why we're all here?

Hi Day@atime

Sorry GamCare don't leave personal insults on the forum when we spot them. One of the things we have to bear in mind is how new members who haven't yet posted might view the things flying around - they might not feel this is a supportive place where they can get help.

Also, please consider that challenging users may not be welcome to them, even if you see it as essential, and could be seen as unecessarily provocative.Using phrases such as 'the addicted mind' strikes me as a bit provocative in this way - it's not really a kind way to talk about people and perhaps you can see how it might get people's backs up if they feel they are doing something wrong? I can understand that your posts might not be directed at specific individuals but something to bear in mind.

Hopefully the forum has room for everyone, and different views on how recovery can work and what it means, even if individual members have strong opinions themselves.

Rebecca

andy14 wrote:

I don't get it, you challenged someone's ideas, something no-one has a right to do IMO, and they, rightly, reacted.

Challenging someone's ideas is not helping or giving advice, which is surely why we're all here?

I didnt challenge anyones personal beliefs Andy. I went on no ones diary & told them they were wrong. I went on no ones diary & told them to think a certain way. I challenged a concept. Thought thats why we were all here to challenge the way we think about addiction & compulsive gambling. Was it not our own way of thinking that got us into this mess in the first place?

Forum admin wrote:

Hi Day@atime

Sorry GamCare don't leave personal insults on the forum when we spot them. One of the things we have to bear in mind is how new members who haven't yet posted might view the things flying around - they might not feel this is a supportive place where they can get help.

Also, please consider that challenging users may not be welcome to them, even if you see it as essential, and could be seen as unecessarily provocative.Using phrases such as 'the addicted mind' strikes me as a bit provocative in this way - it's not really a kind way to talk about people and perhaps you can see how it might get people's backs up if they feel they are doing something wrong? I can understand that your posts might not be directed at specific individuals but something to bear in mind.

Hopefully the forum has room for everyone, and different views on how recovery can work and what it means, even if individual members have strong opinions themselves.

Rebecca

Ok, part of my response to that is as per my answer to Andy. So what you are saying Rebecca is I must only write things that dont have any chance of upsetting anyone. Heaven forbid it may raise a discussion on how best to overcome a life threatening disease. Or perhaps get someone to question a new perspective. Or would that be of benefit to Gamcare. That no one questioned the cause of addiction. That we all sat around saying yep im great, your great, right up to the moment we kicked the chair out from under ourselves once more. The cycle of addiction is a tough one to break. It is one I have experienced both through my own many failures & having worked alongside many hundreds of other addicts that is almost impossible to break free of without huge change in both the way folk view themselves & their perception of how the world views them. If you want to keep talk to vanilla subjects, that is your right as it is your platform. Even though it has been funded by myself & other unfortunates.

Hi Dan,

I totally get where you are coming from. There is balance somewhere between self glorification and feeling like a wretch. I'm trying desperately to find that balance. I personally have found your posts at times to be both helpful and hurtful. But, I don't hold you personally responsible for my feelings. For me it's never water off of a ducks back. I have a heart like a sponge. If that makes any sense. It hurts me when others find my words hurtful... Thanks for letting me ramble on your diary friend. -joan

Hi there,

I don't think I'm saying that we need to keep the forum to vanilla subjects - far from it. And our funding has nothing to do with it. This isn't about what GamCare wants, but about how the forum can run smoothly where all views are respected, even if you think they are wrong. I think sometimes there is a fine line between 'offering a new perspective' and actually being quite provocative in a way that a person might not need or want at that time, which can provoke a reaction. I'm just saying be mindful of that, that's all.

Rebecca

Hi Dan , look I'm not here to argue or fall out with you but not everyone's post is being written with an addictive mind and it's not my addictive mind that challenges you over certain posts you leave on your page . In my humble opinion , I don't see you often actually offer advice , particularly on the new members diarys where it is probably most needed . Your post's just seem to be about throwing a quote or phrase out , which sometimes are very provoking to others , you then seem to sit back and wait for incoming , so are you really surprised when that happens ? I'm pretty sure I'm not alone when I say this either as many past posts will confirm but I really don't think it fair that you go on the defensive that " you don't care" kind of attitude or that it's our diseased gambling minds that are to blame ! Just my opinion of course and in know way an attack on you as a person .

I thought i was being mindful by only posting my perspective on my diary. Not sure how my view is anymore provocative than anyone elses. Some of the greatest advice i have ever received has usually been met with the response that i want to beat the living daylights out of the person who gave it to me. Why? Because as an addict whose default setting is denial of anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, i hate being advised of doing anything that takes me out of my safe place.

Alan,
If by me not telling everyone to hand their money over & self exclude, no i dont do that. If you are saying there is no advice on my page. Then probably the most insulting thing that has been written to me. Now that is provocative after the many hours i have put in writing things.

Back to turning it around to the addict within and there lies my point ? And I'm really not interested in beating anyone !

Yes , you write but to yourself and I'm not being insulting , you have a vast wealth of knowledge at your disposal , you just seem to use it in a strange way and that's a real shame .