My life with addiction

Hi Dan,

Glad you're back, and thanks for replying to my post.

You talk so much sense in your posts, and you seem to have a great understanding of this whole gambling addiction.

Like you say, GA Isn't for everyone. I went a few years back and I found my first meeting so helpful. I never thought in a million years that I would ever get hooked on gambling. And I never thought I would ever need the help of GA to help me to stop......but, I did. I got to a point in my life when I needed help. And GA helped me. I was made welcome, and on that first meeting I was asked if I wanted to speak and tell my story. Nervously I did, it was tough and I cried a bit. It wad a liberating experience and one I am glad I went through.

Unfortunately for me, the next 4 meetings I went to were kind of hijacked by the 'long term' recovers in the group and it became a repetitive soap box for them sounding off and forcing their views on others. It was a shame for me, as I took so much out of my first meeting....

I have just read a book by Kevin Twaddle about his gambling addiction and he raves about his experience of GA. Which is a different experience to the one that I had. I guess it's just the luck of the draw, when it comes to who's in your group.

One thing he did say though in his book was. "It's always good to look back, but never stare". It was something that someone had said to him at GA and it resonated with him. I like it too. It is very true.

Keep strong Dan.

All the best

Ade

Hi Dan

Thanks for reading my diary and posting your thoughts. You said words to the effect about recognising gambling being our solution to problems, not the problem itself. I think this is very true.

Following on from this, I also think that a former gambler can use his experience to his advantage by drilling down into the causes of negative behaviours, in a way that others might not. Having arrested gambling for 2 year I still see my own journey as a job half done. In a sense the harder work starts now - whereas the path to stopping gambling is laid in front of you, if you seek help, the journey to self-fulfilment doesn't follow any set map and comes from within.

Best wishes

Great post Dan,

Looking forward to reading the next post.

Thanks as always for sharing.

Suzanne xx

Thanks for your supportive message yesterday Dan.much appreciated.

Suzanne xxx

Suzanne xx

Hi Dan
You are an inspiration and truly have some great advice.
I have spoken to local GA group and have decided due to my shifts and job role I am going to invest in face to face counselling on a 1:1 basis.

Keep posting
Cheryl x

Hi Dan
Coventry is about 1 1/2 hours away, so do you think group meetings are of more help?
Thanks for your support
Cheryl x

Ahh told you my geography wasnt great! Group vs 1on1, both work . I personally prefer group as i enjoy the camaraderie of it, the feeling of belonging of finding somewhere where people understand your struggle. Its a bit like being on here but more real. Also a wide range of opinions pointing you in other directions than the ones you may have tried previously rather than one person reading off a pre prepared sheet of questions as some counselling can tend to be. I would say try the counselling but choose your counsellor well dont just pick one at random. If that doesnt work for you maybe try GA after that, its been working for people for 51 years so its not going anywhere. Thats what this is all about i suppose, keep trying new solutions till we find one that works for us

Dan xx

It really is very sad hearing about repeated relapses by people on here. Not surprising, nothing surprises me any more when it comes to what people will do, who they will let down when in there grip of self pity through addiction.

Watching & hearing about addicts & having been one for 30 odd years is like watching a child throw a tantrum. Every time things dont go our way, everytime we think someone has been unkind to us, everytime things become difficult, everytime we have to deal with life on its terms & not ours, the toys go out of the pram we stamp our feet & yell its not fair. Of course we dont physically do this as that would mean confrontation with others, it would require an emotionally logical response. It would mean compromise it may even require us taking responsibility for our own wrongdoings in life. So what do we do instead, we go & gamble.
Addiction is a wonderful tool we learn to use to absolve us of any responsibility to both ourself & those around us. It allows us to fail. It excuses our inability to form emotionally intimate relationships with others. It allows us to constantly mess up & not blame ourselves.
If you take addiction away you are left with the fact that your life is your responsibility, mistakes made are down to you, failure to achieve what you think you can either in your career or personal relationships are yours to take ownership for.
This is why i believe people return again & again to addiction. They know what they do is self destructive but the fear of failing in life is to emotionally unacceptable to face. It is easier to not try,to blame addiction for our failures than it is to give life everything we have got & then that still not be good enough.

Interesting post there, I don't think people necessarily choose to return to addiction, some just cave into the lies & promises that gambling offers!

I'm just tying up my loose ends before taking a break as I don't want people thinking I've fallen off of the road! Thank you for convincing me to pull my finger out & exercise, even though that wasn't the intention 😉 I don't need to tell you to be strong so be safe - ODAAT

Day@atime

Fella interesting post indeed, for me you described my entire gambling life in a nutshell, f**k I had so many false dawns before I actually really sought recovery.

Countless promises to stop gambling, all to often to appease someone else rather than doing something for myself.

Addiction over rode my rational thinking, it always had an answer, sh#it thing is in today's money I can see there is a huge difference between having an answer and a solution.

Recovery offers a solution, a constant bettering of my own circumstances through constantly changing the way I approach life.

Recovery has gifted me the opportunity to stand and face whatever I encounter.

Gambling just led me to turn and run.

Keep sharing, showing that there is an alternative to addiction.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

The cycle of addiction

I think of addiction as a powerful, sometimes overpowering involvement to which i turned to in times of crisis, when i needed the emotional hug & the gratifying sensations i sometimes found within addiction, feelings i struggled to find in other more ordinary ways in my life. But the more i turned & sought these feelings within addiction the more difficult i found it to express those emotions in everyday life. It became my one stop shop for every problem i encountered. A few hours in addictions company always seemed to be an answer to that from which i didnt wish to face. .
Yet the more i continued to rely on it, the more negative consequences it produced in my life & therefore the more i needed to keep returning to it.

I had to break this cycle of addiction, it was progressive, i could only ever see one way i would ever be able to stop & i didnt really fancy the finality that would bring.

I was pointed/shoved in the direction of Gamblers Anonymous the date was the 17.4.07
I was not keen to say the least. What could this group of religious losers offer me.
As usual my presumptions of people & my belief that i always knew best was wrong.

I enjoyed my first meeting mainly because it was all about me. Lots of questions people showing an interest in you, very good for my huge ego @ the time to be the centre of attention.
The next few meetings pass & i no longer am the no1 priority in the group, this irks me, i find myself drifting not taking much notice, arguing peoples points just for the sake of it. Im looking for an excuse to gamble.
Trouble is i cant as i have put in place the barriers that were suggested to me @ the first meeting.
While im here i may as well start to listen to what else people suggest may work for me because one thing is for sure, my way of trying to stop definateley does not work.
I start to talk less & listen more, i stop looking for reasons why it wont work & try things that just might work.
My concern that GA would try to preach God @ me never happened. I was told early that i didnt need to believe in God for this to work but i just had to stop believing that i was one. That i had to stop trying to control the uncontrollable. To let go of the past & focus on today one day @ a time.

I havnt placed a bet since the day i walked through the doors of GA nearly 8 years ago, i have been close a few times but some luck & the good thought processes i have been gifted by the fellowship have served me well.

So for anyone struggling to get off their cycle of addiction there are choices out there for you whether that be GA, counselling, smart recovery, cbt, rbt, it really doesnt matter which you choose. Just try something different to the way you have always done things.
Because without change nothing changes. If you do what you have always done you will get what you have always got

Dan

Great inspiring post Dan, thanks for sharing.

Suzanne xx

Thanks for the supportive post Dan.

Great post about the cycle of addiction. I can relate to it all.

Keep maintaining your recovery.

Ade

P.s; What are cbt and rbt?....

Great post dan very inspiring and very wise words thanks for sharing x

My word, you do have alot of days gambling free!!

A great acheivment for sure.

It gets me thinking that if I had stayed stopped when I first walked into a GA meeting back in 2001 i'd have a terrific day count to.

Am still a work in progress, always will be.

Keep going friend, an inspiration to all am sure.

Warm regards... S.A 🙂