My life with addiction

I had to put down and revisit this post Dan.

In truth, I initially scanned and quickly dismissed as you surprised me with a word from an athiest.

Then I returned and read it again and in truth I still don't really get it. In principle, I do, But need to translate into my lay man language.

So a question to you which I hope you answer, before I possibly go on a confusement tangent, is it an awakening of consciousness your talking about ?

Humbly think that the sun dial needs to be fast forwarded with regards to the wording of the 12 steps.

Hi

I was pointed in the direction of your diary by ODDAT. I've only had a quick browse thus far but i'm going to get stuck in as part of my recovery. Congratulations on over 10 years, that's a monumental landmark.

I can really relate to the quote 'Being an addict i know my mind works this way. Looking to garnish validation from others rather than take the risk that the real me may be rejected or deemed not good enough.' I'm looking forward to unlocking some more of your wisdom in my journey forward. All the Best

I dont get what you dont get Paul. Pretty straightforward set of promises. I cant see how its an old fashioned set of values to strive for or how it needs re-writing. Is it the G word you object to or the whole sentiment?

It is the g word I object to Dan, yes. So, when I said at the end that the sun dial needs to be fast forwarded, it's the g- word that needs to be dropped from GA literature... As, yes I agree with a lot of what you say and have also found for my self ' power of meetings ' comradarie, yet it's the old fashioned cliches of the steps that scared ( possibly bad choice of word ) me..Only my humble and I can't find a word to whole heartedly agree with something and disagree with it in equal measures as in the step program

It's hard to articulate what I mean, but is the destination you mention an awakening of consciousness ? Yes, agreed values haven't really changed a great deal since day dot, just with other challenging traps to entice us away from our human animal values....So, my conclusion is I think I get your post but need to understand in my own terminology...It's also sometimes as in your last line ' if we work for them ' as it's a 3rd party.

A random irrelevant Dan,

The place I'm presently staying in has the g - word. Godalming and it's probably the most bizarre place I've ever stayed in full of time travellers, a cordon bleu weatherspoons, French speaking dogs, posh women and there hemp, bag ladies with there Louis veron, charity shops with there treasures, dimensional gateways, trueman show experiences, Lord of the Rings experiences and I stay in a Henry 8th Hotel with Herr Lips wife and her Angel to boot. Still to find Elvis though.So Dan, my conclusion from this place I stay is, that I stand corrected and the G-word belongs to your posts and any literature andwho am I to say what is right or wrong...

Strength and honour Dan

Us Addicts have this all wrong. We believe our lives are terrible because we gamble. Its the opposite, we gamble because.our lives our terrible. Change what you dont like about your life & you will never have an issue with gambling ever again.

Spot on dan , stopping gambling is probably the easiest bit changing what you don't like about yourself/life is where the hard work starts

I love that post day@atime...

"We believe our lives are terrible because we gamble. Its the opposite, we gamble because our lives our terrible. Change what you dont like about your life"

Maybe not 'terrible' in all cases but certainly that we had instilled 'terrible' habits related to a sense of unhappiness with a part of our lives, maybe not all of it - but taking positive steps to address those areas certainly is key to tacking a gambling addiction ... that's what I've found anyway.

Ive been doing this a while. I upset some people granted. It has a purpose. Ive been clean 10 years sponsoring for around 6. Never once has it worked when i curb my opinion to save someones feelings. What saves people is the truth & often the best way to serve it is brutally.
This site is perhaps not the platform for it, too many not ready for change & certainly the chat room isnt my place.
I learnt a great deal about addicts from here so thanks for that & also would like to think a few took something from me.

I accept the way it works for you dan but ................... the guy was new and only 27 he needed encouragment that he was going in the right direction, now because he is fed up with you, rightly or wrongly, he may never come back, or at the very worse relapse and gamble again, how bad would that be. I am not going to criticise you, you say you have been clean for ten years, I fully applaud that, but most people hanging around here are newbies and need support, as the human race does on many occasions. Oh and by the way a tenner @ day, for food and drink, a godsend to a gambling addict on here.

Dan,

Personally the truth is needed. It was the lies and betrayal to my family that left me broken and standing on the railway lines awaiting the train.

Tonight was my first time on chat for a week or so. What happened was no worse or better than has previously occurred.

The forum and chat this year has become a strange place and has lead to many people not returning or posting anymore which is a personal choice but sad.

It took me a long time to differentiate between stopping gambling and actively dealing with my addiction.

Everyone at the end of the day has an idea of how they want to stop.

Bal

day@atime wrote: Ive been doing this a while. I upset some people granted. It has a purpose. Ive been clean 10 years sponsoring for around 6. Never once has it worked when i curb my opinion to save someones feelings. What saves people is the truth & often the best way to serve it is brutally. This site is perhaps not the platform for it, too many not ready for change & certainly the chat room isnt my place. I learnt a great deal about addicts from here so thanks for that & also would like to think a few took something from me.

Wasn't sure whether i was reading Dan on throwing in the gamcare towel with that post. I hope not. I'm sure there's more than a few who took something from your posts, i will count myself as one of them as you inadvertently sent me in the right direction amongst a few others, past and present. Yes, you can upset some as im sure i inadvertently do, but thats the harmony this forum needs..............The good, the bad and the ugly....... https://youtu.be/h1PfrmCGFnk

Hi Dan!

Don't leave ;-). I know this place can get frustrating at times esp when you see people repeating same mistakes but c'mon..give us a chance ☺

Anyway...since you're the man with deep knowledge about the rooms and BB i am coming by to ask you a question..yup..HP..

Ok, so what about souls like myself who always believed in HP (in my case being Christian and believing in God). How come my HP took me to places like hell & why i should ask the same HP for help or hand my power over?
I guess this was the biggest trigger for me and block for rooms. I liked shares and i think that's what is the main drive in recovery..shares and human interaction.

Believing in something higher forms some sort of religion anyway...don't you agree? ..should i thank my HP for helping me to become an addict and the person i am?..& for finding this new adventure of better life? Or shall i look for another HP since this one wasn't too keen on me?..

Just asking and since you still loveeeee me 😉 i am coming straight to your door with my thoughts ☺

Be well...don't leave,

Love

B&S xx

Well said Dan 🙂

Cathyx

day@atime wrote:

So here are some facts.

​12 Step groups are the most effective way to manage addiction. Who says so? Not GA or AA or any other anonymous program. But the research scientists do, the addiction psychologists do, the medical institutions do. Research Scientists over the last few years have even stopped debating whether 12 Steps work. They now concentrate on why it works. Latest studies show 12 Step programs compared to fir example CBT had more than double the number of people who were continuously abstinent after one year and one third the amount after 3 years. These studies are not little ones they are ones that have had many millions of dollars thrown at them. Is GA a cure all module? Absolutely not & no one is claiming otherwise. It is however overwhelming proven to be your best option if you desire to get well. I'm sure the myths & misconceptions of both GA and its 12 Step Program hold many an addict back. But why not see for yourself. What do you have to lose?

Hello Dan

I've been doing some research on 12-step programs. I'm trying to learn as much as I can and think it's good to question things rather than just take someone's word for it.

Lethe had some 'statistics' that were in part based on 'something Dan said a while back'. I must say I've seen statistics based on stronger data.

I had a look in your diary and found a post from 'a while back' that has 'info' that could be very helpful to many people and even addiction treatment centres so would appreciate it if you could answer the following questions:

"So here are some facts.

12-step groups are the most effective way to manage addiction."

Q1 Could you please provide the sources of these facts Dan?

"Who says so? Not GA or AA or any other anonymous program. But the research scientists do, the addiction psychologists do, the medical institutions do."

Q2 I appreciate that this is an awful lot of people and places (all plural) that support the facts from question one. Could you provide examples please? Feel free to offer as many as you like but I'd be happy with a couple from each.

"Research scientists over the last few years have even stopped debating whether the 12-steps work. They now concentrate on why it works."

Q3 This is a little vague. These research scientists (plural), who are they? Is it all research scientists in the world?

"Latest studies show how 12-step programs compared to fir example CBT had more than double the number of people who were continuously abstinent after one year and one third the amount after 3 years. These studies are not little ones they are ones that have had many millions of dollars thrown at them."

Q4 From the studies I've seen it's quite difficult to find two studies that agree. I might well be looking in the wrong places. Could you provide details of these studies please?