hi my names is Mark I'm 34 from Birmingham and I am addicted to gambling. I am not in loads of debt but have probably done about £20k this year and I know if I carry on I will lose everything I have. I have not told anyone I know about this as I am ashamed that I cannot control it. I run my own business so it is not only my life that would be ruined if I carried on but the two other people I employe. Thursday was my last day gambling I lost £1000 in Coral in about 45 minutes to an hour on the way home from work. The sick feeling I had in my stomach as I got back in the van to drive home is all to familiar.
The plan is to check this site each day and gain home and encouragement from others people posts and diaries. I might try shoving £100 in bottle every time I feel like having a bet and don't. Also a most is switching the radio in the van from talk sport to any thing else.
Day 2
Hi Mark,
Wecome to the recovery diaries.
You will receive a great deal of support on here from people in similar situations who are all striving for the same goal of getting their lives back on track.
Fully know where you are coming from regarding the Talksport thing my friend. My radio was always glued to that station too. The trouble is, as you know, that it just saturates you with opinions, stats, betting ads, etc, etc, etc.......and before you know it.....BAM! You're back gambling. Try putting some CD's in the van - it can only help you for the better.
Stay close to your diary and if it helps, just try and get through 'one day at a time'. It's a great mantra to start with. It works for me, and it can hopefully work for you too.
Keep strong my friend
All the best
Ade
Day 13 been really busy at work the last couple of weeks (17 hour days) so no time to even think about it. Boxing Day will be hard going out to the pub to watch the football. So lots of temptation.
Great work Mark well done and stay strong!
appwciate the game for what it is and watch it for fun instead of anxiously relying on a certain outcome, amount of corners etc.
dont even think about what you would have bet on just be proud you arent betting!
Stay strong, keep posting and Merry Christmas mate
enjoy christmas Mark and if Boxing day is hard get to a meeting or ring gamcare up
Thanks for all the support day 17 and still going strong. Was really tempted yesterday after work. Walked right up to the door of the bookies thought I would just have a £50 flutter, but then thought better of it. I was just saying to myself just start properly for the new yearNew year. You have done well so far treat yourself. Not sure if it was the thought of admitting in here or what that stopped me. Instead I came home and ordered some new clothes in the sales. Thanks again everyone this really helps
Day 27.
Been the easiest week so far. This normally the point when I think I am in control and think I am ok to have just a small bet to pass the time, but every time I get the urge I just log on here and read some diarys and realise that it's not just me that falls into that trap. Well not today with the help of my fellow addicts I won't fall for it this time.
Glad to hear you are still going strong Mark, and I think a lot of us turn to this website when we are feeling weak.
it almost becomes a compulsion to check the site to make sure you aren't missing anything. Still it's cheaper and does a lot less damage than the small bet which starts the cycle again!
Keep it going and keep positing!
Thanks Fighter-1, I mainly just browse and read others diarys than post myself. I think I post mainly so I can look back and check exactly how I felt at the begining and remind myself where I will end up again if I do have that small bet.
Hi Bandg,
Hope you're still lurking on here?
You should try updating your diary a little more often.
Anyway I hope 2015 remains gamble free so far for you?.
Mark
Day 42 bet free.
Hi Sonic Boom, I have Not been on here much, but still been strong and if I am honest not really been tempted. I have done several months in the past. It's when i forget the desperate feeling of what it feels like when I gambling that I think I have beaten it and that I can have a Socail bet without any problem that things get messy. That's when I vist here to remind myself that I have a problem and that I will never really beat just manage it.
Thanks for the support and stay strong
Day1
Slipped the last few days big time. Had gone from the 11 November and was doing well never even thought about walking in a bookies. For some reason I have no idea why I opened an online account to put a small wager on the Grand National. I was in my brothers pub and it's all anyone is talking about. Since last Friday I was up £2k on the blackjack lost that and am now since about 10 minutes ago £1k down.
Some of myself justification has been scared. I actually tried to tell myself that as this was the first time I had tried to quit it was a good effort and I deserved it. I knew in my head that it was stupid and I am just weak. Whatever happens it would never be enough . I got up to 2k and was like I get up to2.2k and withdraw 2 and leave myself £200 to play with. That dropped and I took £900. Uploaded it all back on and then some the next day. Then just done another £600 while lying in bed this morning. Well never again
Day 1
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