My new start. Let's get it all out

Nancy

Welcome to the forum a place where like minded folk will offer some great support and advice.

Well done for addressing your addiction at such a young age.

I myself gambled relentlessly for twenty years before I sought help.

Use your diary to help you fight those urges, reading diaries and the other sections of the forum can be a great help.

My advice the Same that was gifted to me on my first days recovery and it still helps today over two years on

There is a triangle

Time-money-location

Take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible gifting you the chance to have some thinking time.

Through arresting your gambling you will do two things

Gift yourself a 100% payrise and not add to your debt.

Regarding your debt you can get help with that through stepchange.

Tonight you did something amazing.

Be proud

Most of all be kind to yourself.

Tomorrow will be better for it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Nancy (I'm assuming that's your name?)

Well done on stopping. I'm not sure what sort of gambling you were involved in but my weakness is horse racing.

However, I'm a little further on in recovery phrase - currently day 3 - having done cold turkey since Friday and losing over 4k on Thursday. Ironically I started the day £9 up but I've accepted the lost money now which was the hardest part because like you, I chased every loss.

I think it takes a situation like yours to realise you've hit rock bottom and the only way is up.

I've written some tips on how I'm coping with the urges which you might find useful on my diary (it's on here).

Above all, please tell somebody close to you who can support you through it, willpower alone often isn't enough so you need someone to remind you not to do it. Also, stay well away from any gambling associations, websites etc. being distracted and time are the best healers I can promise you.

Physically you have the power not to do it, don't give in to it - all feelings and urges will pass with time.

Be strong!

Keep writing on here.... And welcome on your journey to reclaim your life.

Laura

Hi Laura

Thankyou so much for your response and advise.

My weakness is slots. It came to the point where i'd self excluded from every website you could think of so id just go to unknown websites with 4 days pending withdrawal times knowing full well there is no way id withdraw anything and id loose it all - yet id still play. How stupid is that? I feel extremely weak for letting myself come to this and it makes me feel physically sick at the thought of carrying on gambling. If anything my son deserves better than this - he doesn't deserve a mum who chucking money away for what?? Money which could be spent on him! Don't get me wrong he gets absolutely everything he wants and needs but the money I've gambled away could of brought us an extra holiday or money towards a house deposit.

I'm going to follow your diary too and look at your tips. Thanks xx

Hi Duncan

Thankyou for that great advice and extremely kind words. I love the triangle - I will keep that in mind constantly making sure I always avoid one.

Thankyou x

So since i started last night on my journey to recovery i will count today as day 1.

The reality of what ive done is really hitting home especially as i was humiliated in the shop today by a declined card. I did have money in there but as i was out last weeks gambling debts came out a few days late so it took all my money from my account and now im back into an unplanned overdraft. If this isn't a reason to stop i don't know what is.

On a brighter side i'm feeling good today i haven't had any urges probably due to my hatred for gambling. I'm trying to keep busy and focus on everything but gambling.

i've also found that if i do have an urge i take a long deep breath to give myself that few seconds to think about what im doing.

I feel positive about this - its time to get this sorted and im going to do it! i believe in myself. i believe i can. if not for me, for my family. x

Hi Nancy. I just wanted to pop in and give you a bit of support.

It's good your feeling better today. Just take it one day at a time. There will be new challenges each day with some being easier than others.

Regarding your card getting declined, I've been in that situation a few times in the past. Looking back, I think the worst one was when I tried to buy a book on how to win at poker and the card got declined because of gambling debts! I was so deluded.

You'll feel waves of regret now and then. I get them a lot too. They're difficult to ignore, but what's done is done. There's little point in dwelling on the past. Just try and build towards a better future for you and your family instead of worrying about money you've maybe wasted in the past.

All the best and I look forward to more of your diary posts.

Hi Nancy!

Well done on completing Day 1. Day 2 should feel easier, I too found that the reality hit me on the first day and every few minutes I had urges because I was still panicking that I'd lost the money and had to win it back.

My boyfriend told me that I shouldn't view it as I had lost it, but rather I had gambled it and chosen not to win it back. Which is true, I did choose to stop and so did you, which is how we ended up at this point.

Sharing my problem with him allowed me to shamelessly cry, burst into tears every few minutes and generally share the stress I was going through. Is there anyone you trust enough to share it with?

Family is a huge inspiration - like some posters have said - you can't get any time back with your family and take comfort in the fact that you are not only getting your own life back but giving them their life back too.

Accept the money which has gone has gone, and the feelings of needing to be winning it back won't last forever. Try and keep yourself busy to allow the next few days to pass and it will feel better with that time! I've been looking on websites with beauty products to see what I'd like to treat myself to (nothing flashy) as a reward for saving - but also to start taking care of myself and getting some confidence back.

Be strong and proud of what you have achieved so far!

Laura xxx

Thankyou so much for the replies.

So, today is Day 2 and i've had about 3 urges today but managed to suppress them and keep myself busy.

Laura i absolutely love the idea of treating yourself as you are saving money!! brilliant motivation.

I watched a program last night about bailiffs and it really hit home. i am no way in their situation (he was in 5000 of debt which turned to 30,000 and he was evicted and made homeless) but it made me think about what would happen if i was still gambling a year or two down the line? How much i could ruin the life of myself and everybody around me.

That was a big shock to the system and dare i say a kick up the backside to make myself more determined to beat this horrible addiction.

I'm still feeling good and i believe i can do this!!

I am so extremely disappointed in myself. I have relapsed and now in £100 overdraft. This is exactly why gambling is the most disgusting addiction on earth. No more please head stop messing with me!!!

Today I was ontop of the world I took my son out we had so much fun and it's only when he's gone to bed I've relapsed. That's the last time now. Come on, chin up move on forget about it this is a fresh start.

Nancy

Sorry to hear about the fact you gambled tonight my friend, this addiction plays on our emotions good and bad.

My advice

BLOCKS BLOCKS AND MORE BLOCKS.

self exclude, get some blocking software(i believe it's free go to ask gamcare for the details)

And most of all hold that feeling of loss and disapointment you have suffered tonight in your mind

When addiction comes knocking

it will help to show it the door.

One day at a time, learn from your mistakes

progress not perfection

dont be too hard on yourself

You may have lost this battle but its a war for life we face.

A war you can win

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Nancy

Giving up is easy staying given up takes patience. This addiction is never beaten we learn to live with it. Which isn't a bad thing. If you know it's a problem to you and you know where it is you have it caged. Keep reading and posting on this forum as it will help. Some people on here will really annoy you! I say stick with them as these are the people that are hitting home. It can be tamed if you give it just one day at a time

Take care

Thankyou for your kind words.

I am self excluded from every single website you could ever think of but I always manage to find another. I'm so disappointed in myself for last night but I've got to put that in the past and start again,

So today is Day 1 of the rest of my life. I have to remember how happy I am when I'm not gambling and how unhappy I am when I am gambling. Come on! I can do this! I know I can do this. And with the help of everybody here and posting daily I know I can beat this.

Thankyou - here is to the start of a gamble free life.

X

Hi ive not gambled in 64 days today im 36 I wish I had found this site at the age of 21 for help and advice, I used to gamble on the fobts machines in the bookies, crazy how much u can loose. I also gambled online on roulette now I am banned from all the gambling sites so I cant gamble online. im not working now so I need to be careful with my money and so ive put my money into a bond so I cant gamble, and ive given my book savings book to my mum to look after otherwise all the money would have been gone.