Hi,
I have never been on anything like this before but thought i'd post my story on here to seek advise due to accepting today that I do have a gambling problem. It is going to be long so I do apologise in advance!
Since i was young i have always been excellent at saving money. I have worked since i was 16 other than term times, so managed to save a large amount for future expenses. When my 18th birthday came along, i bought occasional scratch cards and went to the casino after a night out sometimes but it never interested me a huge amount even though i would win, it was more something to do now that i am 18. Also i would not gamble a huge amount (if i lost £20 i would go home) but managed to stay 'up' during that period.
However during this time, my older brother developed a serious gambling addiction. He was getting loans and gambling large amounts, which caused a huge amount of stress on my parents and also on me as i was worried for my parents. a few months before 20th birthday i won a football bet (it was one of the first times i went to the bookies) and won £800 from £20, i then discovered the mobile app for the bookies and continued to win over the next couple of months reaching a profit of around £3500.
I felt unbeatable, and wanted to earn enough money to pay off my brothers debt and reduce the stress within my family. So i kept betting, rising to £5000 dropping to £3000 and repeat until eventually i broke even. I was back to "real" money that i had earned, except this time i had took a liking to placing bets of hundreds and thousands of pounds. I would rise to a profit and drop some again, until eventually i had lost a £3000 bet of my own money. I was now negative, which was not a good feeling. Ever since then i have gambled with the pure reasoning to get level and stop, but everytime i got close i would loose a bet and try again. It wasn't continuous, when i had a big loss i would stop out of fustration and then continue months later.
It has been 61 weeks since i was in profit from bookies. Just over a year later, i am now currently £9000 down and in my student overdraft limit. I have realised this is a problem now, and need to stop. I can easily stop betting for long periods of time, but eventually it creeps back into my mind that I have lost a large amount of money and i feel like i need to make it less of a loss.
I have never spoke to anybody about any of this due to being ashamed. However the main reason i don't want to speak to my parents is because i understand the stress this can have on a family and would not want to add additional stress to my parents (my brothers problem is still ongoing, however he has been doing a lot better than previously). I am looking for any advice really from anybody who has been in a similar situation or some sort of insight of how to stop thinking of how much i have lost and just restart without the addiction affecting my education more or my mental health.
I appreciate anybody taking time to read this and look forward to hearing some of your thoughts.
Have you read any of the other posts or spoken to Gamcare? GA? Other help and services?
The moneys gone,you need to come to terms with that now student.Thats what triggered me and still does but ive realised that a line needs drawn ,that was then and this is now and the cash is away.You have youre whole life ahead of you ,you dont want to end up like me,losing everything i held dear in life ,not once but twice in the last few years. I have had some amazing wins ,but the losses always outweigh the wins ,always. We cant win because we cant stop. You are a compulsive gambler(as i am) ,its a progressive illness and needs treated like any other illness, with help and advice. Phone the helpline here ,try out GA meetings if you can ? ,i cannot stress to you how bad this can become so please try and fight it now . I Wish you well in youre recovery.
A
Thank you all for the replies, they have helped a lot! I've never realised how many people go through similar situations. I've spend the last year feeling a bit alone and having nobody to talk to about this, however it looks like this is about to change.
I haven't spoken to anybody else or been to any meetings, but i will certainly look into it. I have contacted student wellbeing at my university and i believe they will offer councelling to help me.
I am beginning to finally realise that it's not money i can win back and will attempt to go gambling free - with any size bet.
Your replies honestly mean a lot to me, and i thank you very much for taking the time to respond.
Thank you Deano, I appreciate it!
I currently haven't gambled since making this post which is a good start. I have an appointment with a counceler soon as well.
I have been doing a more work at university so hopefully i can obtain a good grade and put all this behind me.
Also I am unsure of how to move my diary into the recovery section, I am not too familiar with this website ha.
Thank you again
Hi student.
To move your thread to the diary section if you go to your account click on the thread then click edit from there you can change what section it is under.
KTF
Hello Student7, I have moved this thread to the diary section for you - but I have left a link in the Overcoming problem Gambling section so you can find it there too.
It's great that your student wellbeing department can help you with counselling. We also offer gambling-specific counselling if you feel the need. You can look up your nearest service at our website.
Take care,
Forum Admin
Hi Student7,
Thanks for your opening post. Please read my posts, I've only been on here 2-3 weeks, but I'm a CG all online. If you want to ask me anything please do.
Otherwise all I advice is stay interested in this site, reading and posting on the forums. Join a local GA meeting.
All the best.
Thanks....
Thank you for moving it for me!
It is good that they offer help, my appointment with them is tomorrow and I am sure I follow onto looking into help yourselves offer too.
But to be honest, I am overwhelmed by the caring responses i have received by everybody and can't express enough how much it has meant, you've all certainly reduced the shame I began and allowed me to feel more comfortable opening up to somebody as i've never expressed my problem to anybody prior.
I will keep on the site and keep my progress updated whether good, or bad..
I will do Shep, same with yourself, if you have any questions let me know.
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