So I came back posted once, few days later gambled money like it was just bits of paper, like it meant nothing and it kinda of does - I have no respect for the value of money.
Commitment is what's needed I have a lot on but I'm just gonna have to commit to stopping gambling and to posting on here even if it's just a few words. I've done it before and I have to do it again!
So what do I want. No point saying I want to quit forever because the evidence states that won't happen so I have a target of 90 days it's a good amount of time and enough time to break the habit and see changes. And it's an amount of time I've done before so no reason why I can't again. It has to be one day at a time for now, no other way. I've changed my profile and set my last day of gambling as yesterday and I want to focus on getting to the first week bet free so today is day one and I've just got to do this.
Hi Ex,
Welcome back, and a big well done for not giving up on giving up.
Best wishes on your continuing recovery
Suzanne xx
Thanks suzzane. I'll never give up on giving up but I do feel that I'll never give up - work that out!
I mean what I say when I say that gambling is something that is destroying me in so many ways, I feel so angry and depressed after I gambling even if I win I have feelings of guilt and there's no joy only relief of not losing. Im not gonna moan about my life as I have more than others but d**n I could've had such a better life. A life full of regret is what I do have. And I say I mean what I say gambling destroys me, hurts me and yet I gambled today I managed one day bet free that is all. It was only £2.50 but why. Just leave it alone!!! I just don't feel I'll ever be free.
Now confession time. I've been on here on and off for around 4 years and I've pretty much been honest about everything I post except one big thing and I guess I kept it back for fear of being judged. Basically I work for a bookmakers. I have climbed the ranks a bit, I don't want to say to much as I do wish to stay anonymous on here but I'm now on an ok wage not fantastic by any means but it is hard to find a job for the same wage with little other experience especially as I don't really know what else I want to go in to. I always said I didn't want to let gambling control me and used that as an excuse to stay in my job but I think I find it so hard to quit with betting surrounding me nearly 24/7. Im now actively looking for other work but again going back to wages can't afford to take a pay cut as I'm in enough financial trouble as it is. I don't know. I'm not in the best place at the mo so I'm gonna leave it at that I've got it out there. Day one again tomorrow and I know all about day ones. Please let this be the last.
Sorry one more thing I just want to get out there as I need to remember I do need a new job. I don't like my job - I deal with to many idiots both behind the counter and in front of it and the biggest and real reason I want out Is I can't take watching more and more people ruining there lifes as I have mine and knowing that I'll be praised if they do.
Hi ex,
I think us CGs will always have to have that frame of mind where we will always be in recovery, but we have the choice to not give in, yes it's hard but it is the only way forward.
This can be your time now, if you really want it, make a simple choice every morning to not gamble for just that day, and use the triangle it is fool proof, but you have to really want to do this, remember nothing changes if nothing changes.
Best wishes
Suzanne xx
Thanks suzzane. I know your right. I hope that this next year can be the one where I really change, time will tell. I will try.
Im trying to be thankful for what I do have and realise that I don't need anything else - so why gamble. My debt will take years to clear but my wife knows this and has stuck by me so I have to stop looking for the quick fix.
Hi Ex,
Just want go wish you a very happy new year.
Suzanne xx
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
