My Recovery Diary

Yesterday was 70 days GF for me - 10 full weeks. What a difference I feel in myself. Still got significant debts to contend with but they are going in the right direction and have been for the last couple of months. A long hard slog ahead but I can just start to see a slight glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Have a great GF day everyone...

46 and out

Day 79 gamble free. I've had a few gambling thoughts today so I have come on to the forum to read back through my diary. I need to keep busy today to keep my mind off gambling. Have a great day everyone. 46 and out

Day 85 GF. I had a really disturbed sleep last night, I couldn't break a dream of being back gambling again. I was so anxious and annoyed that I had let myself and my family down at a time when I thought I was making so much progress. What a huge relief when I woke up and I was able to work out it was just a dream (nightmare !!) and that I remain gamble free. A stark reminder to me of how I will feel if I start gambling again and the damage I will do. I remain determined to beat this addiction and not let it take hold of me ever again. ODAAT. Have a great, positive and gamble free day everyone.

46 and out

I think we always will have dreams and thoughts of Gambling, especially if youve done it for such a long long time from 5p JPM fruit machines to ridiculous online losses, and that addictive mind does not want us to forget, and will even let us dream of massive wins and try and tempt us back in by any means neccesary. But 46 we are getting close to 100 road man its visible its this month. Stay Strong 46.

You made it to three figures. 100 days free of stupid Gambling Addiction. Well done 46 and out, right behing you.

Hi 46 and out, congratulations on your 100 days

100 days - whoop, whoop! Well done!! x

Hope your all good 46 haven't seen you about for a bit, need to check in. 🙂

Hi Slot fool and Little Miss lost, thanks for your kind words, I really do appreciate them.

Hi Smashed, I'm still around and still GF. Thanks for your post and for looking out for me. Hope you are well?

I have had a busy few weeks and whilst I have been around a little reading a few diaries I have neglected my own.

It's been an expensive few weeks leading up to Xmas and as a result its put me back a month or two in terms of my target date for clearing my many debts. I have had a few fleeting thoughts to gamble to recover my debt position but I have quickly put them to bed and moved on. It has been nice to spend on Xmas and whilst I have felt a little guilty from a debt perspective I have not resented it like I would have done in the past in terms of it could have been used as gambling tokens to feed my addiction.

I have also noticed that my highs and lows are not as high or low (!!) as they used to be. Life feels slightly more balanced and I am a little more at ease with myself. I am still a worrier and I still get low quite quickly and dwell on the negives but not as low and not as frequently as previously - I seem to be able to snap out of it quicker and handle it better. I hope this continues in the right direction as my gamble free life continues.

Sorry for rambling on a little, its sometimes good to 'get it out there' without over thinking it too much.

Have a great day everyone.

46 and Out

Hi All. Still gamble free. Had a great day delivering xmas cards for the Scouts / Cubs post service. More to deliver tomorrow with the kids. Looking forward to it, seems to compliment my OCD tendancies putting all the street numbers and names in order !! Makes me think I may like to be a part-time postman one day if my full time job ever comes to an end for any reason. Perhaps if I make it to 60 in my current job and I retire. Wishing my life away lol. Head is clear, gambling thoughts under control but I must not get complacent. Xmas is getting really expensive, must not gamble to ease the burden, those thoughts always turn into self destruction. Have a great evening everyone. 46 and Out.

Great day so far with the kids, library, park and then a bite to eat. Back home for baths and now looking forward to a pyjama movie afternoon. Quality time with my wonderful children. Today i will not gamble. Time with the kids or being stressed wrapped up in a laptop and horse racing and sports betting all day, a no brainer but why did I used to do it??? Madness !!!

Have a great day everyone

46 and Out

Hi 46 and out, I hope you and your family had a lovely Christmas. Best wishes for 2018
146 days is fantastic? Well done and keep going 🙂

Thanks for your best wishes and encouragement Slot Fool.

Life is good at the moment, spent a few hours this afternoon watching the football results coming through on TV without thinking about wanting (or needing) a bet. Kids are going out tonight with their friends mum and dad so I have decided I should take my wife and eldest daughter out for a nice meal and a few drinks at the local pub. I would never have thought about that a number of months ago, I would have been too busy trying to calculate if I had any gambling tokens left after a Saturday frenzy of sports and horse racing gambling. Finding excuses to pop out to the 'shops' every hour and / or glued to my laptop or mobile phone ignoring my wife and children.

I am still gamble free and looking forward to the challenge of remaining gamble free for a full calendar year in 2018. Finances improving slightly each month too 🙂

46 and Out

Happy New Year Everyone

Still gamble free. A good day so far. Lovely long walk with the dog this morning. Back to work tomorrow

46 and Out

150 days gamble free.

4 days into a diet, finding that really hard but if I can stick at it for a couple of weeks hopefully it will become more of a routine. Two brisk walks each day. Looking forward to the weekend so I can take the dog to the beach again.

Just had a 0% balance transfer accepted which will stop me paying stupid amounts of interest each month on one of my credit cards. Just had my 60 day update on my credit score, taken quite a jump in the right direction. Feeling great at the moment.

Have a great day everyone and resisit any urges to gamble over the weekend.

I can't win because I can't stop. ODAAT

46 and Out