My Regrets

Thankyou atk85. i understand. i just never thought it would be me. its all i can think of. when i get paud it wont be as bad because i know i will pay some debts off. but at the moment its just there.right at the limit of my overdraft.

thanks atk85.

Joe

Joe,

be patient, you need to be. The problem is, as JamesP as often wrote, gamblers are typically impatient people. Your problems (mine too) will not be solved overnight, but you are taking the right steps forward. I am 100% sure that your bank will not take away your overdraft facility, they will worst case reduce step by step which I am sure you will be able to cope with.

I have said this to a few others, but you really should tell your loved ones, I know it is extremely daunting, it wasn't my first time 2 weeks ago, but it lifts a huge weight off your shoulders and I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the support you will get.

Anyway, take it one day at a time and use all the support you are offered, you will get through this I am sure.

Phil

12.43pm 5/6/2013. i am on my lunch at work and am still feeling disapointed with the issues i have got myself into. Nobody knows and i cant tell anybody either. i would like to tell my girlfriend but i dont think she would understand. she would be angry at me i am sure. i have never asked anybody for money and all the debts i have are from the banks. My main priority is the overdraft. The credit card is 0% interest until next august so that is good. so minimum payments until i pay off the overdraft will be the best thing to do.

i am most scared of the overdraft being taken away and i am asked by the bank to pay all the money back straight away....i dont think i could do it. i will lower the overdraft to 3500 pounds after pay day though so at least i cant max out 5000 pounds again. i almost try too hard to pay off debt and i become impatient so gamble to pay off more quickly.

Joe

Today may be a turning point. I have been accepted for a loan to consolidate all of my debt which I can pay off in 3 years. It has lowered my monthly loan amount by 300 pounds a month from what I currently pay on an existing loan. in the mean time I can then not worry about an overdraft or credit card. I can pay a single amount each month which is more manageable.

I have also self excluded from the online bookmaker I have lost most of my money on. I don't go into an actual bookmakers as I am almost too proud to hand over money to a person.numbers on a screen don't mean anything and that is the biggest threat. A thousand pound in cash looks like a lot more than 1000 on a computer screen.

At the moment I am juggling funds between credit cards and overdrafts etc and I won't have a minus in my current account on pay day anymore.

Here's to the future.

Joe

Another day without gambling almost over.

my whole life for the past 5 years has involved gambling and i wouldnt be able to count the amount of times i have lived lived off about 15 pounds to last me for 3 weeks because i have gambled all my money away after i had been paid.

those days are now behind me and i feel extremely positive. i really hate how erratic my moods could be through gambling. one day i am offering to take my girlfriend out for a meal and if i lost money that day i almost would bite her head off for her to mention it. gambling leads to a horrible life and money was going in and out of my account so regulary that i didnt know where i was.

I actually despise gambling. it could make me feel on top of the world one minute and rock bottom the next. as i posted yesterday i have self excluded from all the gambling sites and i feel this could be it. i am going to fight this demon and give it my best shot.

Joe

Your writing in the last post shows that you have your head well and truly screwed on now. Really happy for you!

I think the main addiction to all this was in the mind and once you hit that rock bottom the last time, you just have to leave it all and put it behind you.

Well done for self-excluding..that can be a massive help, as the door is now closed, so to speak.

5 years is a long time to have been trapped in it, Joe. You'll soon realize, if you haven't already, how good it is to have escaped gambling. It'll be a bad memory, but life in general will improve as you will no longer be at a war with yourself over the next bet.

Also..If ever you feel you're in trouble or have the urge, remember to get posting on here. Getting it off your chest will help, as you're already aware.

Stay strong & positive

Alex

Thank you Alex.

i have had a slip up this past week by losing 200 pounds. i know it could have been a lot worse.

I really feel that consolidating all my debts into a single payment per month is the best option. it has increased my debt amount as i am paying it off over 3 years, but my head is telling me it is the right decision.

I will be debt free in July 2016. i still find it hard to accept that less than a year ago i had 10,000 pounds in savings. me and my girlfriends future was being crafted, but i ruined that. i know i have made a mistake but i am extremely focused on ensuring that i dont make these mistakes again. the slip up of 200 pounds this week has hurt me, but i know that 200 pounds could have been 2000 pounds. so i must accept this.

i have planned my outgoings in a worst case scenario basis i will have about 300 pounds of expenditure each month after all my bills are paid and the loan itself. i do also get commission payments, so i am hoping these continue and i can save even more money.

i love my girlfriend dearly. i need to do this for her as much as i need to do this for myself. i am really hoping i can do this.

Joe

Hi there Joe,

Sorry to hear of your slip. I slipped up early on too, and many others here have also. I think it's a letting go thing.

The key is not to get your spirits down or have this minor set back keep you from being bet free. You have to battle on.

What is little to you, would have been a lot to me. I think at my worst the most I ever gambled was about 700 over two days. Every other time I lost 200 or less. Yet, I must admit, this would have been different had I have earned a lot more. 🙂 I may have gambled more, I don't know. More than likely. Yet, how much we gambled is really besides the point, as gambling addiction can affect anyone.

You have a good future ahead and an even better one if you move on from this addiction. You can do this.

Thankyou Alex. not just for your support, but for your advice.

a few days ago i wrote in my diary and explained that i am taking out a loan to consolidate all my debts. i have decided against the loan as i would pay 4809.60 in interest in the 3 year period. i would rather struggle through to pay off the over draft and loan payments than take on this additional debt. the way i look at it is that although i am struggling to pay more at the moment, i am saving an awful lot of money (about 25% of my whole debt at present) by not taking out this loan.

i actually signed the agreement and was going to post the loan document this evening, but i have decided against it. i know i could do with the extra credit, but i feel i am better off without it in the long run.

All the best.

Joe

Joe,

Noticed you're new here. I've just been skimming through some of your posts and noticed some alarming similarities in our situations.

Like you, I'm in my twenties, and hold down a pretty well-paid job. I've been successful, and managed to make a decent amount of cash. Like you, I've also lost the lot and more. Three times in the past four years I've had £15-20k+ in the bank - each time I've spiralled out of control and wasted the lot gambling. Most recently, this happened in a manic 6-day binge - details of which you can probably find on my diary.

One point you made in your opening post really struck a chord. Your girlfriend is not too good for you. True - she is too good for the 'gambling you' that has no control, and may beg, borrow, or steal to feed the beast. But strip away the gambling, and that's the guy she probably wants to be with.

I've been with my gf (now fiancee) for 8 years. I've hidden a lot of stuff from her over the years, mainly because I'm wrapped up in guilt, shame and self-recrimination. At times, I thought I'd bail out of the relationship because she's just too good for me. But that's not the answer. She knows all about my issue now, and has always been amazing helping me through it.

Sounds like you're getting your head straight, and putting things in order now. I wish you all the best with it mate - stay determined, keep posting, and you'll beat this. The debts will disappear in time.

Supporting you all the way

D123

Thankyou for you response D123. i am so frustrated that isave money for months on end and then ruin it in a short burst of extremely erratic gambling. i will get over these hurdles.the main one i have at the moment is the overdraft which i have maxed out for 5000 pounds. i have been at this stage for two weeks living off nothing and i cant wait until payday which is next friday. once i have been paid, i wont feel so much pressure. At the moment i have no credit to use and this is concerning.

All the best and thanks again.

Joe

I understand that frustration completely. I've wiped out stacks of cash in minutes that's taken months and years of hard work to earn in the first place.

Evidently you're pre-occupied with finances right now - and having enough cash to get by. But try to bear in mind the bigger picture... you're young, and obviously have the capacity to earn good money - so debts will come and go in good time. I find it's a gambler's instinct - to constantly think about how much you'll make off this bet, or how much you'll lose off the other; then once you've stopped, to draw-up spreadsheets forecasting how you'll pay everything off as soon as possible. All that anxiety and stress is short-term though... You'll always be OK if you can keep from gambling.

Good luck mate

D123

Well where do i start.i have disappointed myself by making a further relapse. i lost another 3000 pounds last night. i was waking up having cold sweats last night. my beautiful girlfriend has been poorly and asked me to cuddle her last night but i was so worked up i said i couldnt.hiding the live blackjack screen from her from my laptop. i turned some attention for my girlfriend down for blackjack where i lost all my money.

Today i feel very low because of this. i am in a desperate position right now. i get paid friday but after paying everything i will be about 3000 into my overdraft still.....the money i lost yesterday. i am very sad about this and dont really know what to do.

Joe

Hi Joe

The thing you need to do is to put blocks on yr laptop. I know Alex told you to do this also but it seems you havent and unfortunately, gone on to lose even more - the proof is in the pudding.

I hv bn gamble free for 5 months now and I firmly believe that the main reason for this is putting a block on my laptop.

You earn an excellent salary, dont let it go to waste anymore.

Take care and block, block, block.

Feb.

Joe

You're not the first to falter early on..yet this has to come to end now. You know it's not gonna get you anywhere. All you'll do is end up losing more money, if you continue. As has been said, get a block on your computer, and swear to yourself you that this time it is it. Don't give up, you will achieve this. Being bet free is something you need, Joe. Lastly, do not chase your losses. Stop.

Start over today. Use you diary to get on top of your urges. Write what comes to mind and get it out. That will help.

Stay strong and positive

Wish you well

Alex