Hey everyone. Name is Carrot and I've had the crushing realisation of what I always thought was an 'easy way to make money' is actually a disease that I've been carrying for somewhere between 2-3 years.
It all started with a bingo site offering some ridiculous cash back offer - something along the lines of pay in and gamble £10, we'll give you an extra £30, keep what you win and we'll give you £30. From there I joined 5 other affiliated bingo sites over the 6 months following that very kind offer (huge hint of sarcasm there). I even became a 'VIP' member. But for around a year I did ok - I was calculating in when and what I gambled, and 9 days out of 10 I made a small return, say £10. Why wasn't everyone doing this?
Then around 2 years ago my wife and I separated and I found myself back with my parents and my independence vanished in the haze (Help! reference from those Beatles lovers among us). So the amount of money I placed went up, and the odds of losing did two as I went for the 'big wins' as an easy and quick route to finding this lost independence. After around about a year I hit a real low - lost what little money I had and found myself needing my parents help. Self-exclusion followed. All went quiet for around 6 months - my gambling was limited to betting shops and those delightful machines held within (again, strong hint of sarcasm).
I fell in love with the chase of roulette. In the shops I regularly started placing £100 on a spin of the virtual wheel. Then I realised the house was always going to win, the machines are fixed, etc etc. So I went onto 'live' online casinos. I felt invincible!! Regular wins of £1000 - few of which made it to my bank account - but tonight I realised that I really will never win because I'm not playing for the chance of quick money. If I was, those £1000 wins would be sitting nicely in a savings account. I played because I was hooked on the feeling I had when that little white ball nestled in the pocket labelled with one of my (10) numbers. £4000 in the online gambling account was lost. So £3000 of my real money was deposited and quickly lost. In a 10 minute period I went from considering what car I could get with my new found wealth to having barely enough money to see me through the month - and that is after increasing my credit with the bank to it's limits.
So, I have come here to share this story and hopefully gain some tips and vital support from people who have found themselves in a similar position. I've self excluded again. But, clearly this is not enough for me. I know that I need to learn the value of money, and that the only way to gain it is through industry and not luck - but knowing isn't enough.
Thanks for reading, and in advance for your support.
Cheers
Carrot
Carrot
Welcome to the forum, a place where you will receive a wealth of support and lots of sound advice from like minded folk who want to seek abstinence from the gambling which destructs their lives.
Well done for admitting your own problem, now the hard work is firstly down to you, it is all about the choice you make, the same decision we all have to make each day.
I believe we all wear the same "gambling goggles" that blind our rational thinking and make uspursue the unachievable goal.
Because we all to a man live by the same mantra
I cannot win because I cannot stop.
By arresting the punt you take those goggles off, each day the choice is whether or not they stay off.
Take all the help you can to make that choice.
I will share with you the advice that helped massively in the early days and still does today
There is a triangle
Time-money-location
Take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible, you gift yourself a 100% payrise and theres a new mantra
I did win because I did stop.
Be kind to yourself
Give recovery all you have.
It is a worthwhile gift to yourself and best of all it doesn't come with a stake.
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Hi Carrot,
Welcome to the diaries, I can't speak for everyone else but I certainly find it useful to keep track of my thoughts about gambling, and also find that the site also helps to strengthen my willpower when I feel my resolve starting to wane.
Your story about thinking about what car to get is something that many of us will have encountered. If we could get those wins to the savings account and knew when to walk away, well...
Gambling often balloons into a problem when we have external pressures that can make us more emotional or vulnerable. It is also a disease which can get its claws in deep. Admitting that it is a problem and taking steps to self exclude again is a good start.
I hope you can find the strength to get through this particular tough period. In terms of tips, I know when I gambled online I found that switching my card from a debit to a cashcard did help to quell my urges and particularly my ability to gamble. It does mean I often have to go looking for an ATM, but that also helps to stop me from shopping too much too!
All the best
Ryan
Hi Carrot
Many thanks for sharing your story with us on here. I actually relived the feeling of gut wrench when you mentioned not having enough after losing £3K. I have been there and it is not nice. It was a feeling I became familiar with over and over and began to feel comfortable with. Today I don't have to feel that pain anymore as I do not gamble. My money goes/stays wherever I place it! There is a solution to your addiction just hang around on here and find your own path that suits you. Remember addiction is powerful and will wait forever for you to return. Never underestimate the power of denial. It isn't all doom and gloom though, this is for winners and it ain't that bad once you get used to not gambling to hide away from reality.
Take care
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