Hello Everyone
I have been reading forums on here for a while contemplating whether to share my story, perhaps hesitant as it would all begin to feel real, and writing this it does to be honest.
I am a 25 year old female, who has been addicted to gambling for around five years (give or take), and only recently really realised that the addicition is bigger than me and I need some help to overcome the problem. I used to be very into my sports and had a keen interest in football, horse racing and golf and started gambling around 18 on football matched and races, rarely betting more than £15 a month - something id say was a perfectly normal habit.
I led an increidbly social life, and due to personal circumstances in my life including my health, I suffered with bout of depression when i was 20. The time that I would normally be out sociailising or at university, I used to spend indoors as I would rarely fee like leaving my bed. I was incredibly bored, and thats where I started playing online gambling games and got particuarly addicted to the roulette wheel. I had worked incredibly hard whilst studying which mean I had £2,000 in savings at this point. I got to a point where i had made £4,000 profit on my money and was sure that I had control and could always win. Within the next few months my £4,000 profit turned into £8,000 debt and I had to sort a debt management plan out to repay the various loans I took out, but felt completely hooked to the online games.
I have become increasingly socially isolated, and still struggle with this (particularly now, as Im trying to quit for good), as im used to having my mind so preocuppied by gambling always thinking about what I was going to do next. I paid the Debt off when i was 22, and didnt gamble for 6 months, but slowly the habit has returned and though i have excluded myself from every site possible (I hope!), I have been going into betting shops in town as I live only two minutes walk away. I have slowly accuulated £20,000 worth of debt from loans, friends and family and have had to arrange another debt management plan. My partner has been so supportive through this, but cannot help but feel that I am only one slip away from it all ending. This is something that frightens me a lot, as my partner is my rock and a big part of my happiness in life despite all of the above.
My partner has helped my taking control of my money, and helping arrange the plan and also encouraged me to tell some members of my family, so they are able to support me also. Every day I am thinking of gambling and wonder whether this will ever go away? I cant help but feel i need to speak to someone, and wondered if anybody had any advice as to the best places to go to?
It feels bizarre sharing this sory as I feel like im almost alone being a young female gambler suffering from anxiety also (probably stemmed form the gambling), but suspect there are others within this category with the same problem - it would be particularly good to hear from someone in this category but would appreciate anybodies tips/help.
I am super keen to get my recovery in progress, and turn my life around. I am a business professional and currently working full time and studying my 2nd and final year of a masters degree, which is taking a fair bit of balancing.
Have a good day everyone, i hope to hear from you soon
Welcome to the forum it's a great place to pick up tips and get some support.
You have already taken down key steps in my opinion. Being honest with the people around you is key and you've done that, your breaking the triangle by giving over your finance to your partner, let him know how key it is he keeps and eye on it because when that urge comes we will do anything on it get that bet on. He will need to support you.
You've SE from online and I've seen your going to call to SE from the bookies which is great, I've excluded from loads by using that phone line. Maybe look into broadband restrictions and/or blocking software as new online sites appear daily.
Give gamcare a call look into counselling they offer it free of charge which can be useful, I have not done it I went down the GA route and can find that plays q big part in my recovery, it does have an preconceived Image of being for older men with flag caps and whippets but that's not the case. 50% of my groups are under 30 and we do have a few girls as well, something worth considering.
Finally stay close to your diary keep posting good and bad it's your diary to put your thoughts down and keep reading others diaries you will relate to so much if It, we might all be different but you will see so many similarities it a place full of likeminded people.
KTF
Hi again good to see you have organised some counselling
And are getting those self exclusions in place.
Just to add there's a chatroom that opens at 8pm which will get you in touch with like minded people.
Have a great one
Hiya Anthena,
I'm a 21 year old female and you are not alone, I gambled on and off for just about a year and a half, I used to make myself pennieless by the second day of the month ( which is ridiculous because I get paid £1,400 a month)! 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years found out again about my gambling, he's been so supportive, and I then told my family. The anxiety is horrible, but it seems like you have a good relationship and he obviously loves you a lot, recovery is difficult ( I'm nearing 3 weeks gamble free) and it seems longer! I didn't have any debt myself, so I can't really support you on that one, and I really hope you get it all sorted. You are not alone, recovery is a great feeling and we are all here to support you!
Hi, you absolutely aren't on your own. I'm a 29 year old female, who is also desperately trying to beat this addiction. I joined a week ago and love this site! I sign on first thing in the morning to check how many days I'm gamble free...seems to help me see the days add up. I also log on before bed to read other people's stories. It's by no means easy, but we're all here to help and support each other. All the best and I will continue to read your progress. C x
Hi All
Thank you all for your comments and support it is much appreciated, i have found this site to be incredibly helpful and love reading peoples comments and stories and hope this will help to keep me on track.
I am having a c**P day today, as I have a really strong urge to gamble. I walked past a betting shop earlier (with my partner) and couldnt help but think about putting money in - of course i didnt as my partner was there. I know that tomorrow is monday, and that on my way to work I will walk past about 5 bookies and am worried about whether i have the strength to stay out of them - I hope so! I need to ring the exclusion scheme line first thing tomorrow as this should help.
I am struggling to imagine a life without gambling at the moment, it feels like a dream and something very distant to me. hopefully with time this will feel much closer to a reality i can sustain.
I hope you all have had a nice weekend and thanks again for everybody making me feel welcome 🙂
Athena
Stay strong, any way you could not have any money on you for work, no cards etc as if you're walking past bookies like you said the temptation is there, but if you have no money to put in it might be a littler eaiser? Just an idea, I'm aware it might not be possible. Just try and remember that absolutely awful gut, sickening feeling you have felt in the past and try and keep that in mind when your urges are really strong. Hope you manage to stay strong. Perhaps read a few more diaries on here and that may help you. Stay strong, you're doing great! C x
I have just rung the self exclusions line and they don't run the multi operator scheme any more and the lady recommended going into each bookie and self excluding? Has anybody had any experience of this, to be honest i don't really want to go in there at all.
Other than that another day gamble free which is good, I went for Lunch with a few friends i havent caught up properly with for a few months due to me being so preocupied with gambling. It feels good to do normal things in my free time other than spend hours every day gambling, I just hope I can keep this up.
I cant avoid the bookies really, though my partner has complete control of my finances so would be practically impossible for me to gamble anyway.
Thank you for all your support everyone - have a nice evening 🙂
I've not heard this I've used them all year the last time I spoke to them was about about a month ago when j added a couple more to my list.
Can't understand why they would stop it seemed like a good idea to me.
Going to take me a while to get round the 98 bookies I have SE from when they run out in November.
I'll call them tomorrow and make sure all mine remain I place.
Hi Athena,
I have just called the national self exclusion line in 0800 294 2960 and they are still operating. Try calling them again you need to give some details of the bookies you wish to excluded from. I gave a postcode of the area I wanted and they brought up the details on google maps of bookies in that area and I confirmed I wanted to exclude from them.
Give them another try it's worth doing
KTF
Hi
Thanks for your comments.
I rung them today but coudlnt get through so left them a message, so it would seem that they are still operatng - im unsure as to why the woman i spoke to told me otherwise.
In other good news I have booked my initial assessment for counselling on Thursday - little nervous but a big step for me! Going on for another day Gamble free, its certainly difficult but im just taking each day as it comes and am pleased with my progress so far.
Have a good one everybody
Good morning all
i have my first assessment for counselling today so am a little nervous but glad to be getting the ball rolling. Fingers crossed it will be fine.
Also need to ring the self exclusions line today as can't seem to get through.
Have a good one everybody
X
Had my assessment today for counselling and am on the waiting list now. Went really well and feeling positive about recovery.
Hope you are all well
X
Hi all
Difficult day today but remembering the counsellors words - gambling is your choice, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. Still gf but feeling S****y today!
Happy weekending everyone! Looking forward to getting my first lot of counselling booked in
X
Hope your counsellor expanded on that rather than just giving a sweeping brainless generic statement.
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