Hiya mate, Sad to see you relapsed over the weekend...As did I...Id love to say these relapses make us stronger, but im not quite sure...Think they definitly hurt us even more and make us reaise even more, why we come on this site and why exactly we need to beat this!
My problem always seems to be, I last a few months and make inroads into my debt, start having a bit extra cash in my wallet and then the old thought comes in the head. "Just one bet wont hurt, small stakes"...That one bet leads to another, that small stake becomes bigger and before I know it Im back to being debted up to my eyeballs again...The best thing I ever did was self exclude mate...I put it off and put it off, maybe I wasnt at the "rock bottom" stage and didnt truly want it, maybe thats your problem???...But honestly mate, the self exclusion saved me on numerous occasions, yes, i ended up realising there was a bookies in town that I hadnt self excluded from which is where I started again but Ive self excluded from there now and I feel alot safer, especailly when Im out drinking knowing that I can not go in these places!
dont worry about being embarrassed, i was but these people are trained and are very sympathetic and understanding, as for not having money to get pictures just visit and do the self exclusions and tell them you will retuen with a picture, thats what i did and they wont mind that...Justsomething for you to think about mate and however you to choose to deal with it is enirely your choice, hopefully whatever you do choose works for you and we can all beat this together!
Hi there
Have just read the last 5 or 6 pages of your diary. I apologies for not reading all of it.
Only you can decide when you have had enough and you obviously haven't had enough just yet. For if you did you would have followed the advise you have been given. Putting barriers up when the thoughts come is one way to make it a bit easier for yourself. You still have to put the work in and change yourself.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
It is not enough to say..I don't really want to gamble anymore...I might self exclude..I've been thinking about it.... balls..... if you really had enough..and again..only you know when that is...you will stop..you will self exclude...you will do anything in your power to not let that addiction beat you any longer. When the want to stop becomes larger then the want to gamble, you will succeed.
You will look at yourself and make changes to yourself, to the way you think...it's a life time thing this recovery...no quick fix.... it's like any other addiction, alcohol,drugs...once you have it, that's it..you can arrest it but it will always be with you, waiting in the background...waiting for you to become complacent or for you to think you have it beat..and then it'll be there, ready to pounce again....
I wish you well in your recovery..I really do
God Bless
Charly
hi mate
just catching up on your diary,,thought you was on your way this time,,,but you like me are a gambling addict,and its not easy to just stop.next time i drop in on your diary id love to see you have excluded from local bookmakers.i dont usually give advice but i feel its what is needed for you mate,the temptations are far to strong for you to resist,and if you dont you will forget about this episode and just go and do it again next month.i was stuck in that cycle for years.all the best mate and you know what is needed to be done.
neil
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to post.
As regards the recession I would be in real trouble if I lost my part time job low paid as it is as I have to pay back my debt monthly.
Don't know why I'm feeling quite low today. Sure the weather is bad. But probably as I have let gambling steal or my 'spare cas h again'. It is not spare though as I need every penny I can get my hands on!
Sorry about reading about your Job Neil. But this does bring to home I have put my future at risk by gambling and taking out loans to fund it. I have no protection so should I lose my job I could not pay my loan repayments....
Which is why I suppose I am stuck in a job I hate...
Awayout
Don't worry about your job and the security it provides. I always thought as I got further into debt that my job and death in service benefit was ok to protect my wife should I die and leave a £60k debt on her. I now have no job and no earnings and no financial security but the only way it will get worse is thru gambling ( and interest ) , what I am trying to say is stay strong and you will get a better position financially eventually , concentrate on the other things first and get yerself feeling a bit better. I hope you have good Easter mate.
Hi went to town today and managed to buy my young relatives Easter eggs.
I ended up in the bookies. This proves I cannot gamble twice on the roulette machines I got my last few quid up to £200 both times the bookies got it all back.
Could have done with the £200 as spen £50 of my own cash...
I know I should not be in there at all. It proves finally if I can't even take the money winning £200 from my last £1 then there is really no point gambling anymore. It will just take my last coin.
Same old thing some losing gambler watching over my back and me there thinking I am some kind of big shot because I got a few numbers on the screen from my last couple pounds. Never cash in my hand the second time could not take the money.
Almost reached for the exclusion forms after this sorry episode on a beautiful day. Such a waste of time.
Sounds awful but I even looked at the water over the bridge thinking what it would feel like. Obviously this gambling is no good to me....
The only good thing I kept the last £5 to buy those eggs. That would be worse than anything to know that I had been so selfish not to buy the littleuns anything.
Easter day is going to be Day 1 again. Quite a good theme new life and all. Still just enough for bills. but stacked up to the hilt on my overdrafts again....
I never want to be a sucker to myself again. It is no good for my self-esteem....
You ended up in the bookies?????.
How EXACTLY did that happen?????.
Oh!!!!!.......... thats right, you went in because you WANTED to!!!!.
When are you going to learn or at the very least attempt to learn awayout!!!!,because the way you are going there IS no way out.
"" A NEW LIFE ""
Instead of almost reaching for the exclusion forms, why not get them and fill them in?
Stopping gambling and staying stopped takes a bit of effort, it wont just happen on its own.
You can continue gambling or you can change your life....you have to make a choice.
Jim (last bet 22/04/06)
Here we are again !?!?
'almost filled the forms in'
'almost took my money out of the machine'
'almost walked past the bookies without walking in'
'almost, almost , almost'
AWAYOUT its not enough to 'almost' do something.
Stop now its not too late.
Pauly
Torquay United
Who are ya?
who are ya
Hi Chris,
Welcome to the forum.
What you are doing sounds interesting!
We do have an area of the forum "Research Projects" where we may allow this kind of request. We would kindly ask you to click on the link below, and follow the instructions:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/index.php?tid=85028
If you would like to speak to an advisor about your own ongoing gambling recovery, at any point, we are here for you as well. Please call the HelpLine 0845 6000 133 and/or click on the NetLine:
http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline/
Best regards
Rob
Note: Please do not post directly into the "Research Projects" until you have e-mailied eileen, and gained permission!
Awayout,
What you doing man? I know it's hard and you normally sound so determined. Remember what shitholes them places are and steer clear.
Also ask yourself had you won a couple of ton, what would you have done the next day then the next day. Long term it is a waste of timemate.
Steer Clear.
Looks like my diary was nearly hijacked by Christophe!
You are right mancity51. They are shitholes and there always seems to be some scruffy so and so watching over your shoulder.
Reasons to stay out of bookies:
1) I am a compulsive gambler I cannot 'win' any money
2) in addition to 1) I will always lose long term
3) Due to the loss of cash because of my addiction including all my savings and 23k in debt I cannot afford to gamble anymore...
4) I will never win my way out of this debt situation...already proven impossible in the last 5 years. How much more time do I want?
5) I have no financial security, savings, property so to speak off. All from gambling losses. I am 35 time is moving on I want to try and salvedge a future for myself emotionally and financially before it is too late!
6) I have more worthwhile things to do than gamble like enjoy life. Afterall life is very short compared to eternity!
Hope this helps me stay off. No cash left anyway bar for bills. I have not enjoyed going back to work today after a nice weekend. But will not let this get to me!
Awayout
Hi awayout,
When I was a similar age to you.. that was my personal rock bottom.. a similar level of debt, I had no job and in retrospect I gambled with what tiny amounts of money i could get my hands on.. merely to escape myself and my life. 4+ years later my life is much more on an even keel... its normal!
I took action to stop myself gambling.. my benefit money lived in a safe.. safe from me! I filled my time with voluntary work which then led to paid work. I dealt with my debts.. which in my case bankruptcy was the appropriate option for a fresh start. I moved to a home where i felt happier. I joined a gym. Over a period of time I started to make the lifestyle changes that helped me to stop gambling and stay stopped. You can do this to at any point...
Self exclusion from bookies.
Have someone manage your money.
Get your DMP sorted
Work on finding other things to do to fill your time when not at work.
You know the story! Lecture over 🙂 . take care Awayout.. keep safe and keep writing.. S.A 🙂
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