Need to start all over!

Yes bookmakers are foul as a whole and even greedier than gamblers are finding more and more clever ways to take our cash.

I have had 10 years supporting the workers of numerous casinos/and bookmakers. When we have walked into a bookies they probably think there is another mug keeping me in a job. Lets face it also the service and attitude of some bookmaker staff is less friendly. Grumpy odious and generally probably saying one thing to you when thinking another. Like 'he will be back and lose those winnings and more!'

Strange how those bookmakers seem empty places at times and all eyes are on you as soon as you walk in! The place is probably empty as they have already fleeced £1000s throughout the day.

Anyway a normal day to work honestly !!!

AWAYOUT

i have nothing against people who work in bookmakers,they just doing a job,,most probally feel sorry for problem gamblers........but........a few months ago i went into a bookies to exclude,was nervous as hell,wanted to go in get the job doen and get the hell out.but no....the woman behind the counter didnt have a clue what she was doin,was no manager in,,she faffed about,couldnt even find the forms to just give me so i could get out,,wasnt a nice experience.although ill never go back into the bookies again due to the embarasment.anyways just my experience and would highly recomend self exclusion.just so happens i got the village idiot that day....just about sums it up for me!

Hi it has been one of those really annoying types of day. Someone is questioning my commitment about a group I am involved in. Then someone else started asking me if I could to the refreshments for an event I have no links to (because they did not want to!)

I go to most of the events and what they do not realise is that I am spending a lot of my time trying to earn some extra money over the weekend in my spare time.

I thought 'if only they knew the amount of stress I am in because of the debt.' But sometimes it is better keeping that to yourself I know as it involves gambling.

In anycase I feel I am unable to commit to a lot in my present state as I really like my space over the weekend to myself. It helps give me energy for the week ahead and makes me less vulnerable I feel to gambling????

Am I being selfish not wanting to do 100% in this organisation? I have a feeling true to myself no! Which is voluntary time....?

I went back as an alternative activity to gambling and socialising has helped.But, I an finding people are making demands of my time I am not comfortable with. To be honest the demands on my time which are causing me stress not enjoyment and relaxation which makes me more vulnerable to the gambling.

I don't know if anyone else here has had these experiences in a church or other organization??? I went intially with the idea I could choose how often I could go then have been asked to do more and more things.

Working though during the week and someone making me feel I should be 100% committed to a voluntary organisation as well as something else not linked to this organisation is making me think twice about me wanting to go at all????

I think having gone back to church in the last couple years has been tough and facing my addiction. But I never thought there were going to be more demands on my time and people in the organisation making more and more demands on my time and causing me making me feel guilty when I need some time to myself and cannot commit to everything.

I know if I try and take more on than I have for a number of years (out of work) it is going to make me feel stressed. I need to make sure I am not vulnerable to this addiction emotionally.

Most people were quite relaxed and pleased that I was involved quite regularly with the group when I first joined. Now people are saying 'can I do this or that why weren't you there on....?'' because they are..' It is strange how familiarity with people breeds contempt so to speak.

I go to the main events but people are asking me to do things I don't feel I will enjoy as it is taken away from my 'free time'. To me that bit of silence in the week is important to unwind...

Sorry to waffle on but needed to get it off my chest as I know where pressures can lead my mind....

I have done well to do things other than gambling over last couple years even though I am fighting this. But I still need to weight up having 'me time' and giving up my time in addition to work.

Dont know if anyone has similar experiences?

Anyway hope I will distress now.

AWAYOUT

Hi another crummy day. Fortunately no way to gamble as not carrying cash.

This time work related. Working in retail/general public in the current climate I am sure is once of the worst jobs at the moment.

Minding my own business working on the shop floor and some woman comes a long and asks if we 'stock a certain good.? I answer 'yes'.

Then as I am on my own minding the till cannot guide to her the item so point abd describe where to find it. Before I even have chance to get some further help she starts muttering about customer service etc.

She finds the item then continues her jabbering about customer service. She says 'I know all about retail' 'good job im not the store secret shoper etc etc'. Then right where I am serving her the goods she makes remarks to her kids & husband. 'No wonder shops are going down etc etc'

If only she knew how short staffed we are....

She did not really accept my apology for which I probably did not need to make as it was her impatience which led to her being dissatisfied. Storming off looking for the item!

Anyway it ended up she said she would never come back again (hope she doesn't). She trued to say I was rude the way I said 'yeah' to her answer well actually I said ''yes'. Many customers just look for the item once you tell them its in stock she never asked to be directed.....

It resulted in me feeling really nervous serving her I am generally thick skinned. I tried being extra careful checking her items. She said she would never come back but she did. This time I called the manager and her served her she tried to say I got the price wrong on purpose - I did not!!!! It was an item she could have easily made out I had overcharged by hiding the item etc;(cant go into details)

How I hate retail at the moment. Yet another customer gave me a compliment as to my demeanour/service but it really shook me how unpleasant people can be life I know.

I actually read abuse from customers can lead to feeling stressed for days (feeling traumatised). I know it sounds silly but when you are in the position of someone taking out their frustrations

Anyway also read it is good to vent the incidence to others.

Sorry for waffling on but it is linked to my gambling as if I have a bad incident I can sometimes turn to the wheel....

Anyone else here have problems in retail/customer service experience at present or in the past.

I know they say 'the customer is always right' but you really can't please everyone in this game.

Anyway at least I am not thinking of gambling....

Still a bit stressed 5 hours later - so hope it does not knock my self esteem down wish I 'had ripped her head' (only joking) off now instead of apologising and explaining we were short staffed so could not leave till etc....

Making myself feel a bit better read people who are bullies in adult life were often victims to abuse themselves and turn to picking on others in later life because of their own insecurity,,,,

AWAYOUT

interesting read there mate, i hope you sucseed

i know the exact feeling of a playing a casino game and being on a losing streak, knowing 100% you will lose but playing still anyway,

your in the same boat as me retail work wise as well...

they have cut all staffs hours, im barely there now, but when i am we are utterly short staffed,

the shop has about 4 overall floors, used to have about 10 staff in including management at any 1 time.. now because of the cuts we have a very max of 2 managers, and 2 staff members (bear in mind 1 of thoese 2 staff memers has to stay on till, the other 1 is called to the till often to serve as well, and management have to deal with deliverys, confrence calls, returns, etc)

so 90% of the time 3 out of the 4 floors have no staff working there so anyone can steal things, and customers keep having a go at us, because theres nobody around to help.

but yeh, it deffo affects pay now... especially with my past gambling, sadly i will be lucky to see £300 for the month and about £250+ has to go on bills and i owe money for bank charges incurred due to gambling,

i can really see the whole country going downhill, people getting fired/hours cut because companys arent making enough, which means people in general wont have as much money thus they will shop even less, causing more businesses to fail, wont be good

keep up the progress

I think the downturn in the economy as well as hitting the economy will also hit bookies so they will try and find easier ways of nicking our money using computer programs and machines.....

Glad to see another perspective on retail at the moment. Obviously we cant mention names but similar our shop used to have department managers years ago i believe now they have one manager.

We are having our hours cut too. I am already part time 25hrs with similar layout in bills and debts to pay also on a low wage. .We are short staffed and a few people have already been off with stress recently.

The low wages in retail and the abuse you get from the public make you wonder if the stress is worth it. Particularly at this time I am noticing many people are shopping more cautiously and being ruder generally specially if you try to offer them anything!!!

Also customers seem a lot grumpier. They seem to forget we are consumers also and being in the front line in a shop is the worst place to be at the moment. I suppose there are worse jobs though!!!

Also we have too much stealing. You would think they would prefer to have security/extra staff than losing 1000s in stock but they dont seem to care. They seem to claim on insurance or something rather than care about looking after their staff!!!!!

Sick as this sounds I almost feel like getting the sack as then I would have to go bankrupt and could claim benefits (first time). I know the gambling is my own fault and the economic climate is just making things harder for recovering CGs.

Similarly most of my wage is going on bills/overdraft charges and the loan payments I have to make because of gambling so can empathise with you there mate!

I think the current economic climate is a wakeup call to all of us for frivolous spending over the past years gambler/non gambler. I don't have much left over and cannot afford to lose my job or lose many hours. It sounds like you are in a similar situation.

I have the feeling although it may stop some people from gambling others may turn to it who never have done to try and get themselves out of recent troubles only to make things worse.

Not wishing anything against the gaming staff I would like to see a few online gambling companies and highstreet bookies take a hit as there have been far too many spawning across the country!

Thy gambling establishments have become such a drain on society I would like to see some levelling off as there are too many!!!

Thoughts please???

Sounds simple but I realise if I gamble I will just gamble more won or lose I should know this by now.

I have been doing this over the last few weeks since starting gambling again just before Christmas and in January every week.

I don't trust myself with any cash. I have been using a cheque book to cash money when I don't have my card as the staff know me in the bank (local) so I think I am going to have to give my cheque books up as well...

I know you are all going to say 'well you should know better' but making your own brain see sense is somehow hard for me at the moment.

I woke up in a mood (have been gambling on FOBTS twice this week) lost £95. Money I can't really afford.

I have just been paid today so I am feeling vulnerable again. I am going to pay bills ASAP as I cant trust myself anymore.

Its been tough at work as they have been talking about staff hour cuts etc and a couple nasty customers this week .But I am not trying to make excuses it is my own lack of foresite/self control/putting blocks in place

One problem is one of my bills comes out mid month the other near the end so I have temptation. I think I initially chose days like this for direct debit as I wanted the cash to spend now I dont will have to see what I can do.

When you are in debt money in so boring but necessary to existence.

There is a cold snap coming next week (weather) so I dont want to put myself in deep for next week (will make me feel even more down cold weather etc and no money).

Right forgive me for talking to myself but I am going to pay what I owe my parent now for last month and put money out for bills.

Hope I have a better month this month need to watch myself every second.

Seeing the worried look on my mums face and telling me 'I looked awful' after being out and losing some more is just another reason to stop gambling.

I actually did something weird yesterday I wrote a line ' I must not gamble again' for every pound lost it did make me think but then waking up thinking of drawing out every last penny up to my overdraft's hilt to push in some machine came in my head.

I think I am sick mentally to be thinking this yep definitely have a probelm AWAYOUT

This sounds odd. On Thursday I was going to buy fish and chips on the way home and earlier in the day other essentials. Of course it all went on gambling.

Today felt much better had £5 'loaned to me' by family (will pay back). Managed to buy myself the fish and chips and had 50p left over. I am so glad I did not waste it on machines..

I have heard various rumours/stories circulating by people in bookies warning me about those f****** machines 'I have a friend who has lost his house on those machines' - 'family and marriages have beem broken up by those machines'. Of course most of those people are horse/dogs/sports gambling addicts....

My relationships in family have also been strained to near breaking point at times and I think like others I must just say to myself more often as I have after a relapse:

'What do I love more my family or betting on a cold machine'

It is really only this year I have as a man looked at my own emotions and that is quite a hard thing for us guys to do. To accept our actions are wrong and to try and change our ways after years of yes, wrongdoing....

AWAYOUT

hi mate

i know where your at just now.i cant seem to beat this addiction..i can go days and weeks without gambling,,then bang,,im back at..we just have to keep trying and hopefully one day our brain will finally see sense and let us stop..

im hoping and paraying that day day will come sooner than later!

Im having nasty urges again to gamble - Neils post has helped me. I need to stay off the weekend. What Neil said about the cycle of betting staying off for a week at most then back to a relapse is true of me.

One day at a time.

Have just been paid and I am having the urge to gamble.

I dont know about others but staying off a long time I just know a huge relapse is round the corner? Sorry that is how I feel about my own willpower. Like others I can stay off a few days then feel the urge. Wish I could afford a retreat and take a few months away from those d**n machines...

Its mental torture:

1) cant afford to gamble bit feel urge

2) Still believe I can win after losing over 40k+ at estimate and being 23k in debt (currently)

3) Keep thinking about money problems how to get more subconsciously probably about 24/7

4) Am finding it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel as I keep being in the cycle of financial recovery/loss/betting/no betting.

5) This is a tough addiction to *** (no getting away from it is not so easy once it gets in your veins)

6) I am feeling kind of dirty having this addiction

7) Gambling addiction has lessened my self esteem - trust of family and caused/causing so much mental stress to myself and others

ANSWER : MUST STOP

im reading and reading through diaries,,trying to get through to my stupid head i need to stop.the horror stories.but my own is one big horror story.

i just want to say.......DONT gamble over the weekend..u will have ten minutes to half an hour of fun,,or stomach churning,,but very more than likely u will lose and feel the effects for days/weeks..spoil ur whole weekend,,dread waking up monday morning,please mate just for this weekend remember this post!i dont want u to feel like i do now.all the best and will be following your progress.neil.

I did go in the bookies but only horses and limited funds - did stay off the roulette and I have paid my bills.

I know you said what you said Neil and I did read it but my intention to stay off roulette has worked. It was full of swearing odious people and I want to cut the bookies out of my life altogether.

I did resist the idea of drawing out 100s and going on roulette but did gamble on horses one a couple then lost 90% of my cash. Must stop cannot afford because of my outgoings.

Have just transferred all my cash for bills so hope I can get through February. Some woman in the bank tried to offer me a credit card because of the 'current climate' she said you 'can pay it by instalments by direct debit dear'.

Well I resisted 'free money' or should I say extra debts. the banks have not helped me and I almost went for it as I have been refused credit elsewhere...

Hope you keep posting Neil. I know I have let you down but I have stayed off the heavy stuff...

Maybe self-banning from the bookies locally is the only way have you one that Neil???

AWAYOUT

hi awayout

firstly you havent let me down.this diary is about you,and you only,id love everyone to never step foot in a bookmakers ever again.me included.i havent been into a bookie since around 27th of dec,,,and weeks and weeks before that.on that occasion i didnt lose a penny.but boy..was i a sucker for them fobt*s.they totally had me.all my wages,all my time...that was over a period of about 3 years.i stopped really using the bookies around sept 2008.i have been doin aswell as ever,few minor £20 here and there..but thurs night..online lost was £300 down the god knows how.got £290 back and got the hell out.then fri night lost £140.today nothing!havent gambled and wont.in a great frame of mind now,last night was all over the place..im back on track and will be trying everything in my power to do so.

i read ur posts because they are so honest.i cant help but believe that some people dont admit to slips.maybe im wrong,and hope i am.try to keep strong mate!

Yes Neil

Just a short post to say I think honesty does help. We are human and make mistakes.

Being a compulsive gambler in slight remission you begin to see in all likelyhood there might be slips but if at least the damage is less we can make improvements to our lives.

I did limit the losses and although I did set foot in there it was the first time in yonks that I did not go on FOBTs. But I did not like seeing the attitude - (bragging/shouting loudly/swearing) of some of the punters in there so I think that will keep me out this month.

Must admit though I have been there myself shouting at screens etc. What a sad life. Getting all worked up when you win, and when you lose big or small. Sure that is not good for us!

AWAYOUT