Need to start all over!

Keeping myself in check.

Hoping to stop all gambling including lottery. For some reason difficult to let lottery go, guess I am one of the millions addicted

Awayout

Hi Awayout.... well done for keeping yourself in check.

As for the lottery.. it is tough isn't it. Although ive not bought any lottery product for many years now, strangely I still struggle with it. I think about buying quite alot but the thought never translates into actually buying. I woosh i could say the same for the machines. Thoughts, feeling and actions.

Onwards friend... S.A 🙂

I have not been on this thread since mid November. I realise I need to keep myself in check.

I may be in debt but I am not gambling which is a good thing. Looking back the relapses in the middle of the year throughout summer look like a hazy dream -well more of a nightmare. I cannot quite recall how I got back into it, although I realise I left a doorway I should not have open..

I lost a crazy amount of money for me enough to live it up for quite a while. When you waste money on gambling it does not matter how much that money seems to other people who might have far better jobs and income, it is how important having that little bit of extra financial security is to you..

I am not trying to have regrets as I could easily from the four figure sum lost this year, I am just trying to learn from the experience and move on... to a better place..

I look at people with a proper trade or who artistic and can earn money from art and music and I truly wish I could be like that. Rather than working for mega companies who pay peanuts rather than a proper living wage.

This is something I am going to aim for. I do not know if there is time to change (I am late thirties) but I am going to try... Putting the energies I would normally have wasted on the futile pursuits of gambling into other things...

maybe learning a trade or new skill etc; this takes work; dedication, perseverance etc... not idle gambling ideas!

Awayout

Hi Awayout... I relate as always. My 3 gambling events this year have cost me around a grand which is alot of money when your on almost minimum wage.

Its ok to have regrets I think. I regret my actions on those 3 occasions but am trying my best not to dwell on them. What is done is done. All we have is now and moving forward into the future.

Your job of work is worth while. You are providing a service to the public and that is to be commended. It is not easy working with Joe public. The work you do and the work I do is not rewarded in a financial sense which is a shame but we should not beat ourselves up for not being in well paid jobs.

Keep that resolve not to gamble anymore. Onwards my friend.. S.A 🙂

Just making an update as the end of the year has always been a tempting time for me to go off the 'straight and narrow pathway'.

Have overspent a bit this month but not on gambling or on presents but buying things that I dont really need. I guess this might have something to do with self security as much as anything else.

Catching up with my posts as I haven't posted for a while. You are too righ SA about regrets and not dwelling on past events. If we dwell on them the negativity about them really has a bad effect on our recovery. We need to learn from past mistakes and move on, trying to make sure those errors do not happen again.

You lifted my thought processes about the public facing job I am in. We can still take pride in our low paid jobs. Many people in the 'over paid' types of jobs would not have the patience or skill to cope with the kinds of jobs we are in. Like you say it is just a shame that people are not paid a bit more in certain types of jobs.

Unfortunately sometimes customers do not respect those in low paid work, looking down their noses and not pausing to think our kinds of jobs are not easy ones. Some seem to go out of the way to make your day a bad one if they are having a bad day.

Doing more social things recently like cinema , church etc which is making life a bit lighter.

Starting to get into the Christmas spirit, money or no money.

Awayout

Hi Awayout... good to see a post from you. Like you say, it helps to stay close to the site this time of year. I know for me am much more likely to mess up this time of year than say the height of summer.

I think I know what you mean about feeling like one is wasting money even when not gambling... but then you also have to reward yourself as well even if what you do is off an escapist or comforting flavour.

I don't think its so much about "self-security" as that would I think entail putting any spare cash away somewhere safe for a raining day. Historically I find that when i do have a little savings or surplus money its then that am more likely to gamble... part of my self-destructive cycle, which i am trying to free myself from. A little savings brings a little security.

All the best mate, stay on the straight and narrow.. S.A 🙂

Happy New Year and Diary & all friends on Gamcare!

This is to no major relapses in 2013

For some reason maybe because of the lack of money I found my mind drifting to ways of gambling. I have got over the money blues (waiting to next pay day, longer as we get paid early in December). I have not ventured into the bookies or FOBTs but I thought I would admit feeling low enough to thinking about ti again as a possible way out.... destructive and foolish I know...

Had a near miss on winning £450 on hotpicks so that did not help. As we know a near miss on gambling is the most addictive thing and sets a gambler off..

I think I really want to quit lottery and scratchcards too, have been buying quite a few recently and all losers...

Maybe someone is trying to tell me something...

My income has suffered as I am not doing quite so well on a certain online auction site.. guess a lot of people have a lack of money this time of year...

I have to be careful....

Seriously looking at new jobs which is a good sign...

Hope this year holds better things.. Told a near stranger about the level of debt I was in about 14k and they suggested only offering banks x amount per month, and they might freeze the loan etc but I fear the phonecalls to parents, and letters etc

Awayout

Hi Awayout and a happy new year to you to. 🙂

Good to hear that you have managed to avoid the bookies and Fobt's despite on-going financial pressure. Thoughts of going in the bookies are harmless as long as ya don't act on them.

As for the lottery products.. the near miss is what keeps us in the game isn't it?? All gambling is money down the drain in my book but as a compulsive gambler I appreciate why you find it hard to stop all forms of gambling.

As for your creditors. As long as you are in agreement with them then you have nothing to fear. From what youve said your debts are all to high street banks etc.. they have strict rules they have to follow. They can't start harrassing your parents.

Anyway as you say, here's to no major relapses in 2013 and maybe in time my friend you will knock the lottery stuff on the head to. Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Thanks for your support SA.

Yes in time I want to knock all forms of gambling on the head.

This 'long month' having been paid 2 weeks earlier than usual last pay day then needing to wait 6 weeks for next pay has not helped pressures, both financial and mental ....

Lottery has always been a hard one to kick as it looks seemingly too good to miss the chance to win a large sum with a small one. But all gambling is the same, and one disappointment is followed by another...

I think I need to ask myself if I won a few thousand would I really be able to kick continuing to play and losing long term over the course of my life. Probably not...

I think there must be millions of people unable to kick the lottery habit. We really have become a nation of gamblers. Maybe the increase in lottery charge in Autumn will put me and a lot of others off.

It really is a tax on the poor and a profit making machine. Making money out of the very vulnerable and lost hopes dreams...

I even heard one person say the other day theri onlt chance to get financially sound was win the lottery. It really does take the work and effort ethic away and replace it with lazy 'hopes' and perhaps gambling stops people putting their energies into doing things which might earn themselves a bob from hard work and striving rather than hopes...

Awayout

Hi Awayout and thanks for your thoughts. Likewise you have helped me loads over the years both in your replies to me and what you write in your own diary and elsewhere.

Yes the lottery is a tax on the poor, in fact gambling full stop is like a tax on the poor. I pay enough taxes I don't want to be paying gambling taxes any more.

Life is too short to be wasting it on gambling. Might make that my new mantra. Onwards to ever better times my friend. Regards... S.A 🙂

Thought I would drop in.

Have over spent this month again, on things I really did not need in the hope of making money. Not really working so credit card debt going up again...

On a positive note no binge gambling. I really can't believe what I did last year losing 4 grand, (gee!) in a few weeks in a bookies I was supposed to be self excluded from... much good work undone.

It really does seem that you take one step forward and teo steps backwards at times!

I think I may have turned to the over spending down to a low mood and 'treating myself' to some expensive luxuries to cheer myself up even though this is just making things worse..

I guess the returning gloomy cold weather and low mood around Valentine's Day has not helped, being a singleton for a long time.

I know this is not an excuse to go on a spending spree and things will get better if I get thrifty and save up again. I need to start penny pinching again as I have overspent and have payments to make on my loan and overdraft and credit card every month on a low wage (my own doing let's face it)

I apologise if I sound in a bit of a negative mood but that is how I feel. Many years of my working life wasted by gambling and frittering my savings and future earnings away..

I do feel a stronger person not going to the bookies everyweek and gambling constantly online, and not having constant gambling thoughts. However I still feel there is a long way to go before the debt caused by gambling is paid off, a constant reminder.

I am not comfortably off whereas I could have been. However, I do realise things could be 100 times worse if I went back to gambling in bookies and online...

Here's to onwards and upwards, learning from past errors and using the experience to get the most out of life!

(Mood slowly lifting)

Awayout

Hello Diary!

Feeling a bit better today. Yes I may be still single but there are millions of like people out there and let's face it there are plenty of advantages being single.

I must count my blessings have a loving family etc, when there are some people truly lonely with not a friend in the world...

The weather is good today too!

Using my more positive mod to regroup myself

Happy non-gambling Valentines Day!

Luv Awayout

Hi Awayout... keep working at it mate. What happened last year is now gone. Stay focussed on not having a gambling binge and your financial situation and general well being will surely improve. Onwards... S.A 🙂

Thanks for your post SA.

Just read your diary and saw that you are worrying a bit about money too.

I have been on a buying spree again. Not working as the spree was on my credit card! I am talking 100s rather than a few pounds.. Must change as I am on a low wage..

What I am going to do is a brave decision next time I am able to pay off my credit card debt I am going to cut it up and not have any credit cards again if possible.Then it will be the case I can only buy what I can afford rather than 'borrowing' more money on the card.

It is very easy to see credit card money as your own money when it is borrowing... it almost becomes part of you,,

On the gambling front I have given up lottery tickets for Lent. I hope it lasts longer!

I have still been buying the odd scratchcard and not the £1 ones either so I feel a bit of a hypocrite and I am going to throw that in too. Maybe the Lenten Season will lead me into not gambling at all, and finally freeing me from gambling for good..

It is like I keep battling the same things and repeating the same mistakes. Surely my brain will learn in the end!

I almost feel I need to go back to being a kid again when in fact I had no more than a few pounds and pennies in my moneybox rather than a small mountain of debt.. I was in fact better off then in many ways. I am not just talking materialistically.

The only thing I would say then to myself now is 'you have experience and made mistakes it is not too late to change!'

Here is to better times, sensible spending and happy experiences and fewer money worries in the future! WITHOUT GAMBLING

Awayout

Hi Awayout,

I've just read your recent pages and can see so much of myself in you. I am constantly worrying about money as well and the lack of money I have and the ever growing amount I owe. All we can is budget and try to cut back on what we have been spending over the last few months. For me I don't spend anything on myself instead I blow between £500-1000 on gambling a month. If we can only support each other over the coming months, we will both see the benefits of abstaining and will both have more money in the bank and less debts.

Keep strong.

Wilsy