This is day one of not gambling. I have tried it before but just seem to get sucked back in.
I think it is boredom and general unhappiness that makes me push for something more exciting.
I have been in a position where I can pay off my credit cards, but it is like I just self destruct and can never do it.
Tonight I lost a thousand pounds, my yearly bonus.
I just feel numb that I can do this. I dont even feel upset. My emotions are just dull now.
I have told friends and family but I seem to give off the impression I am dealing with everything. So I am just alone with it really.
I need to start this diary so that everyday I will have to update it and face myself.
I need to do this now and just stop feeding this industry which is so dangerous.
It is sad that a charity has to protect us and not the government. I spent an entire day last weekend self excluding from every casino that I could find online.
I still managed to find one I could gamble on today.
Its ridiculous .
I have lurked around these forums for a long time and I know I am in good company. You are all such lovely people, i just wish I could wave a wand and fix everything for us all.
Try to keep smiling and thanks for reading xx
Well done for stepping out of the shadows. It sounds like you're in the right place.
It's great you've told family members maybe you need to tell them your are struggling and tell them a bit more about the lengths you go to and how bad things really are. Let them know you are just putting a brave face on
I wish you could just exclude from all online gambling but you can put blocks in place. You've SE which is a great start but as you've found they is another one waiting round the corner for you.
Consider getting blocking software K9 or gamblock are couple out there or put parental control on your internet but for any of these get someone else to set the password.
Call Gamcare they will give you some great advise and can offer counselling, consider GA lots of people there who have walked in your shoes just like a 3D version of here.
Handing over your finances to someone else helps you break that time-money-location triangle if you get rid of any of those 3 things it makes it difficult to gamble.
Finally I would say keep updating your diary and reading others as you have been while lurking in the shadows.
Work at it and we will soon have a smile back on your face.
KTF
Hello smiley81
Welcome to the forum.
Keeping busy is crucial. You will find using your time productively will make you a bit happier, ease the boredom and take your mind off gambling.
Understand the numbness and self-destructive streak. Losing all my money gambling has been the only consistent thing in my life for the last ten years. It doesn't faze me.
I've found the forum a great help. It can be for you too.
Look forward to following your progress.
Best wishes
Glint
Thank you both for your kind advice and thoughts.
I have tried blockers and have given my cards to others in the past. I am very sneaky and always manage to work around this.
I lost four family members in the last year and I just kept going to work. I think I am depressed and haven't dealt with it properly. Thats the first thing I need to address.
Slots just make me zone out. Like a very addictive computer game.
I think this diary will work though, i think its the routine of updating it and setting a daily target to not gamble that will actually make me quit.
I know how supportive this community is and I can do it. My family have been through enough and my friends wil just not understand why I keep doing this and have their own issues.
This is one i think I just have to get on and do.
Thank you for being there. I woke up this morning in a sad mood and you have cheered me up. Have a lovely day 🙂
Morning smiley. Today is my last day and I need to do what you are doing and win my life back. I too bet when bored as it keeps me going for 90mins.
Good luck on your journey
Hia Cpetch.
I can play for hours and hours, I just zone out. I wish it was some old school RPG game I was addicted too instead. I should get back into sonic 🙂
Its just such a con. After noticing how poor the payout was, I asked for the gameplay documents. The higher the stake the less chance of a bonus. Its really clear to see in figures. Its also clear to see how much you lose in black and white. The odds of winning are horrendous.
I sent the docs to the developers and complained its not exactly a fairplay system. This random number generator they use isnt exactly random and the percentage payout is awful.
Anyway, pursuing these things doesnt change the fact that I have a problem. It just annoys me there is no safeguards in place for us.
Most Casinos say they operate a responsible gaming policy. Its not exactly responsible letting someone gamble so much in a short space of time without a prompt.
They just hold all the cards (excuse the pun).
I am seeing a Doctor tomorrow to see if that will help. I am trying everything I can.
Gamble free today and I hope the same with you.
It would be worth losing a grand if it makes me sort myself out. Thats how I am trying to look at it, like some kind of investment in me.
Everyday I dont gamble they lose.
Anyhow Keep on keepin on 🙂
Hi,
Thanks for letting me know and no worries. Hope your recovery is going well.
Best wishes
Day 3, gamble free 🙂
Day 4 🙂
Still gamble free 🙂
No urge to gamble
Well done smiley, good stuff. Keep it up!
Thank you, i am hoping it stays like this
Still gamble free 😀
Two months gamble free. Feel like a new person. It gets easier
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