Nev wants his life back

Well done on posting Nev, you will get plenty of support here.

Can I suggest you start putting the blocks in place now? Self exclusion, giving your bank card to a familly member, blocking software for phone/computer... carpe diem!!

Hello Nev

you thought about getting some counselling or extra help?

lots around

you could call gamcare for starters

check out some other diaries on here especially duncanmac's

tc tri

Hi triangle

I'm going to go to a GA meeting next Monday night, the night before I get paid. Hopefully what I see and hear there will put me off gambling when my pay hits the bank.

Your right about reading the diaries, they certainly help. I'm reading Charlys story at the minute, very powerful stuff.

I've had another gamble free day, it's so easy to not gamble when you have no money, I wish it was this easy when I have money in my account, that is where I need to get to.

Wednesday night and I would normally have had a bet on the trap challenge on the greyhounds on channel 212. I won't even watch the programme this week, maybe I need to change what I'm watching so that my mind is taken completely away from gambling.

Well that's it for today no gambling today and no gambling tomorrow.

Nev

Well that's another day done without gambling. I can say that I haven't really thought about it today it's been so busy at work. That wouldn't normally have stopped me I would have been on my phone at lunchtime either playing slots or picking out my trap challenge bet for tonight.

One thing I do miss about gambling is that it seems to make the evenings go much faster when I get in from work. If a side effect to not gambling means I'm bored then in pleased I'm bored because it means I'm not losing my hard earned money. I do need to find something to do with my time on a night during the week, maybe with the money I save from not gambling I can join a gym or something like that.

I just can't wait for next week so that I get paid and I can go shopping for some nice food, I love cooking but there ain't much I can do with the rubbish that I have in my cupboards, I should think about these things in future when I even contemplate gambling.

That's it for today I'm off for a nice long walk try and clear my head.

No gambling today and definitely no gambling tomorrow.

Nev

Well ive successfully managed to go a full week without gambling. This time last week i was busy emptying the entire contents of my bank account into my online betting account.

Whilst i feel a small sense of achievement i know deep down that i have only done this because i had nothing to gamble with, the big test will come on Tuesday when i get paid.

Ive gambled pretty much every day for as long as i can remember when ive had the funds and i have to say that the last week seems to have lasted forever. When we gamble its amazing how much of our time is taken up with it, im finding life without gambling slightly boring and i must address that, ive got to find something to replace the time that i spent gambling.

Daytimes are fine, I watched the golf and football all day yesterday, and will do so again today and tomorrow im back to work. Its the evenings that im struggling with, evenings have always been taken up by gambling. Wednesday to Sunday i always watch the greyhounds on channel 212, Tuesday night I often go to the greyhounds and Monday nights I usually go to the pub, mainly because theres no greyhound racing to watch on Monday nights. Its all a bit pathetic really and i have pretty much become a recluse. The saying " you need to get out more" really applies to me. When I get paid I need to start living my life again. I need to rejoin the real world.

I was going to go to a GA meeting tomorrow night but because of my financial position I havent got the money to get there. Just typing that makes me realise how low I have sunk, I really am at rock bottom it just doesnt get any worse than this.

I have my money to get to work and back tomorrow and thats it, there is not another penny in my world. I have my rent payments and all of my other priority payments set up so that they come out of my account as soon as i get paid, I reckon I would be homeless if I hadnt set it up that way, I would have no hesitation gambling my rent away when im on one of my crazy sessions especially when im chasing my losses.

Next month has to be different, im self excluded from all of my local betting shops and ive self excluded from my online betting account. The problem is that there are many more online accounts that I could open, when I get paid Im going to the bank and withdraw the entire contents of my account and keep it in the house. Not really the safest thing to do but I will take my chances on not getting robbed. The odds on getting robbed in the street or someone burgling my house are much less than the odds that I will gamble it all away and be in this position again next month.

Just on the subject of online gambling, how many adverts are on the TV these days advertising gambling? Its an absolute disgrace and something I havent really thought about before. Something needs to be done about it and its no wonder that there are so many problem gamblers in the world. Gambling is a disease, its a drug that people become addicted to but you would never see an advert on TV with people advertising C*****e or heroin, you never even see an advert with people advertising cigarettes. Just watching the football and golf yesterday I noticed five different bookmakers promoting free bets etc, selling their evil trade to people that will soon be in the position that im in now with their lives ruined. It has to be stopped because the gambling industry is taking over the world. If it wasnt for betting shops and charity shops in my local town then there wouldnt be any shops. I could go on all day but it really gets me down just thinking about it.

Time to watch the golf try and cheer myself up.

No gambling today and no gambling tomorrow

Nev

Hi Diary

Well im feeling quite proud of myself today, its now 11 days since I had my last bet and I have never felt more determined to rid myself of this terrible disease.

Ok I know I couldn't gamble for the first 8 of those days because I had no money but I got paid 2 days ago and im pleased to say that I haven't gambled a penny.

I withdrew the entire contents of my account on Tuesday so I have no way of gambling online even if I get the urge. It would now take a major slip up for me to gamble again, I would have to go to back the bank and pay the money back in, quite frankly that is not going to happen.

My only wish is that I didn't do this years ago, deep down I know that I didn't want to because gambling has always been a part of my life, it was just something that I did.

Not any more and although im not stupid enough to think that im cured, ive never been so determined about anything in all of my life.

I WILL NOT GAMBLE EVER AGAIN.

I wrote a little poem last night just to try and pass the time. The time that I used to spend gambling and destroying my life. Maybe poetry is the new me...perhaps I wont pack in my job just yet though!!

GOODBYE MY GAMBLING FRIEND

20 years ago I placed my first bet, 20 years later and im full of regret.

Thousands of pounds have fluttered away, theres nothing left for that rainy day.

Why do we do it well I just cant explain, gambling brings nothing but sorrow and pain.

Well enough is enough its time to call it a day, theres much better ways of spending my pay.

Everything has gone ive got nothing left, what gambling has done to me is pretty much theft.

Except that isnt true its all self inflicted, ive blown all the good things I was luckily gifted.

Its now time to forget about my terrible past, my life has to change and it has to change fast.

No more gambling on races or matches or spins, im now well aware that its the bookmaker that wins.

Its time to enjoy life and not give gambling a thought, I want to feel happy not worried and fraught.

So goodbye gambling my despicable friend, were done, its over and this is the end.

So many issues now that I need to put right, im fully committed to winning this fight.

Somethings been missing from my face for a while, and thanks to no gambling ive regained my smile.

One day at a time that’s the new me, and every new day will be gambling free.

No gambling to day and no gambling tomorrow

Nev

Back to earth with a massive bump.

Despite the fact that gambling has totally destroyed my life I am typing this to try and take my mind away from a MASSIVE urge to gamble.

There is no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't emptied my bank account when I got paid then I would be gambling right now and that scares me.

What is wrong with me? Why do I want to inflict further punishment on myself?

I need help with this I can't do this on my own