New beginnings!

Morning,

Wow such courage, no matter what was said , you should be soooo proud of yourself, you faced the music ,danced the dance and now I am sure a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Respect to you,

Dusty

Thanks Dusty, feeling preety good right now!

Good luck to you too on your quest xxx

well done, dont think i would have had the courage to own up (i was found out). you should be so proud of yourself its a massive step and the support from your family will help you loads. i've found people knowing stopped me wanting to gamble as i will have to tell them. i hope you have the same experience

good luck and remember today is another day you will not gamble xx

Hi Boston

Really well done for been brave the support u will receive will help so much life is full of tough decisions and I doubt many will be harder the strength u draw from this will help u along ur way and remember we are always here for u if u feel low and fully understand what ur gong through

Keep up the good work ur doin brilliant

Castle2

Feeling ok today , maybe not as great 🙁 got told yesterday how easy it is to slip and feel kinda scared again that it will all go wrong . Taking the day off work to sort everything out so no barriers left to tackle and can just look ahead . I know I have a strong mental attitude and can do this , I also know I need the support from friends and family to help me through the tougher moments . Iam looking to the future and although I still can't believe the amount I threw away I know I will let it go so I can start a new happy life x hope you all stay bet free today x

Good Morning,

Try not to worry too much about slipping. I know that is easy to say, as I worry about everything .

Today it makes sense that you reflective on all that has happened , but try not to beat yourself up about it.

By telling everyone and taking the steps you have to make gambling much more difficult. You have proved to yourself that you are committed to beating this addiction. Hopefully your nearest and dearest will see that as well.

All you have today is put your total focus on today. The past is that the past and you can not change that, tomorrow is not here yet ,so who knows what tomorrow brings. Just for today do not have a bet , and before you know it, days turn into weeks, months and years.

I really meant what I said yesterday about how much courage you had, anyone with that much courage can fight and win this battle, all you need to do is believe in yourself

Take care, chin up

Dusty

Thanks Dusty,

The thing is the friend who said all that is right and i am just stubborn thinking i can do this on my own , my way, but i have took on board all that was said even though i didn't want to at the time. My friend has been going through this longer than me and i just have to admit he knows more. Your right i know i can do this but i need to listen to those who want to help and not push them away. Getting busy tiding the house before i go to the bank to cancel my debit card. 🙂

Your posts are really great Dusty and thanks for all your support, hope your day is fab and bet free xxxx

3 weeks today !

Didn't think I could do this , really started to believe I would continue till I had absolutely nothing left. It was like I was so unhappy that I just wanted to destroy myself but hey over the last few weeks I have started to become human again and have smiled and laughed at times . So much is changing because I have made the decision to stop and my life will not be the same again , however I quite like this new one !

Still soo scared it will all come crashing down but feeling really positive , all the support from here and friends has had a huge impact on how I see life, knowing others share your pain although is not nice does help to move you forward . This would normally be the day of the week I get on the net and gamble all weekend but not today 🙂 , so happy that although a tough week in many areas I have no inclination to gamble . Hope everyone stays bet free too x

RIP Mark 117 x

Feeling unsettled last night but decided to go visit a friend to keep me occupied. She does not understand how i feel or why i gambled, all she says is 'i can't understand why you do it, your intelligent and know it's wrong'. This site helps as people understand the feelings you get, i used to think i'll just do 100 then walk away but not once did that happen, 100 became 200 became 300 and so it went on, even when i won i would withdraw 80% and gamble the rest then loose that and put back the withdrawn money. Still can't understand myself why but doing lots of psychological research into addictions to hope to find some answers! This addiction however is like no other and really difficult to gain a real insight into. I am slowly becoming stronger and i know i will beat this, i have too otherwise it will destroy me and i don't want that to happen. I have set goals finacially and personally to keep me on track.

Heres hoping we all have a gamble free weekend xx

Hi

Thank you for posting on my diary. It honestly helps me, as it does the person I post to. I hope lol

It's great to try to understand the whys and wherefores of this addiction, but try not to obsess about it, not that I am saying you are , how would I know.

I do believe it's an illness, although not everyone does

I do not believe I am weak or stupid I am just who I am

I have so many wished I was different , but it ain't going to happen , so I suppose there comes a time when we just accept it. If I was allergic to nuts and eating one would make me very sick I would not eat nuts. So if I want to stay well I can not gamble.

If that sounded like a lecture , sorry it was not.Just my view which at the moment is beating the demons that hide away inside me.

You are doing brilliantly , fighting the urges , so keep doing what you are doing and every day that passes you put more distance between you and gambling.

Go girl

Dusty

Thanks Dusty, wise words again lol

I research for part of my job so don't worry it will not be my next obsession .

Today is really about new beginnings , ex hubby going to look at a house 🙂 , son moved out Thursday but told me his coming home for the weekend , so much for peace and quiet .

Got a hangover this morning but slept the best in about a month and did NOT gamble when I got home , in the past I would really gamble bad after a few but not last night , felt really good that I just walked past the computer and went to bed . My mate is great even though she doesn't understand but missing my buddy loads , he understands and helps but excited to be able to say ' good weekend '

Hope all stay bet free x Lucy x

4 weeks today and faced my hardest day !

Got assaulted at work and really found it hard when I got home , just wanted to gamble so I could win and not have to go back to work , stupid really that will never happen but I didn't do it , kept thinking about the last month and all the challenges I have faced and won and was not going to let this win!

I feel strong now the day is coming to an end that I can really beat this , let's hope I can keep this going , can't be too many days like this hopefully x hope you all stay bet free x

Strange times at present

Feeling confused at the moment about how I'm feeling about gambling.

Life is throwing every d**n thing at me which in the past would have sent me on a bad spree but I don't have any compulsion to gamble , however am thinking about it but only how it nearly totally destroyed me , really strange!

I'm feeling so different to just 4/5 weeks ago , I'm doing things I had forgotten about and have a big smile on my face most of the time .

Still very angry with what I have become and the amount of money I gambled but becoming easier to keep saying 'I can't change the past but I can make the future better ' . I think I'm finding it all so strange as I'm scared it will all go wrong again, but I know with what's been thrown at me lately if I can not gamble now , I can make it work .

I want to stay bet free so bad x

Out of sorts over the last couple of days , constantly thinking about gambling , not wanting too but about what it has made me . Even had me in tears yesterday which is not like me at all , all these emotions coming to the surface and not sure how to handle them.

So scared I will start again , don't think I would cope and it would totally destroy me , so petrified .

Can't sleep again , even bought wine to help but it just makes me talk cr** and gives me a headache , still couldn't sleep properly.

Felt good in the week , went out to lunch and shopping with friends , bought some bits and was chuffed as I would have gambled that money in the past then BAM ! I get this feeling and felt rubbish about myself since .

I'm really going to try snd shake myself out of this , I should be proud I've gone so long without a bet not wallowing in self pity .

Please let me stay bet free x