New beginnings!

Hi Lucy,

Have had many of those kinda of days lately...but...ya know what.......All of them are better than no gambling!

Sue xxxx

Yo,

Allany of us can do is the best we can,

Sorry bout your sore head 🙂

Sure you had fun though 🙂

Just for today Hun

Shiny xxxxxx

Good Morning

I'm humbled that you good people are still posting on my thread even though i can't get back to you all yet, it shows just what great people you all are even though you fight your own battles and Thank You doesn't seem enough

🙂

Ventured to Tesco this morning, can't walk properly as i had one hell of a fight with a bush on Sunday and am covered in cuts and bruises, next time maybe pick on one with less thorns!

I am extremley embarrassed of my behaviour on Sunday , whilst gambling it was mostly at home or in a casino so no-one really saw or cared, i was only embarrassed of myself , of all the money i had gambled again but i wasn't living i was just going through the motions so even though i may be sore at least i was out and not gambling more money 😉

But i have learnt and hopefully will never get in such a state again!

Feeling stronger as each day goes on and friends that are still going strong give me hope and inspiration that i will get back to where i was and beyond.

For each of you continuing to remain bet free a HUGE well done and long may it continue!

So it's a week since the madness and slowly Lucy is getting back to herself, some good footie back on, US tennis and Paraolympics starts tonight so what more does a girl need to keep her happy !

Finally realised that i need to be at peace with me to really move forward, i need to love me and give me time to heal from all the s**t over the years, i know it will be hard again at times but also feel it's ok and i can get through it.

Without some real special people around it would be much harder so it's great to know i have them around to bounce all the s**t off if i need too 😉

Was told i needed to find the middle like Shiny but have never been a middle kind of girl lol it's all or nothing for me but maybe, just maybe i will listen and try and find it even though i know sometimes i might steer a little in the wrong direction but as long as it does NOT consist of gambling then it will be ok!

Getting there, really getting there!

Keep Strong all, your just great!

Lucy xxxx

Hi Lucy,

How did that song go? "I get knocked down but I get up again! Nuthin's ever gonna get me down!" OR - that other bit about life is the journey not the destination. In AA they say "it is progress not perfection." When I'm in a mood, which is alot of the time I think all of that is just a real load.. On the contrary tho-- Over time, I have found them all to be true. Take your time Lucy. Just keep quitting. One day at a time. joanxxxxx

Hey Lucy,

Stop beating yourself up my friend, you got enough bruises and scratches from your encounter with the bush !!

At the end of the day we're all flesh 'n' blood, none of us are born with a suit of armour to protect us from all the flak that life throws at us, we learn that from the day we start mixing in the big wide world. Its the choices , good and bad, that we make along the way that mould us.

Your a good. honest. decent human being Lucy, the worlds a better place for you being in it, so, you do what you gotta do for YOU my friend, just remeber, your friends on here are 100% here for you.

Stay strong,

Take care

Cameron

Hiya Lucy

Just logged on after a week away and went straight to ur diary b4 my own I knew in my heart u weren't right just knew from ur posting ur were goin through a tough spell , like everyone else am here for u kicking myself a bit though as should av said somethin to help u but don't like been negative on anyone's diary

The great thing is u av pulled urself together and got back on track ur not the first and undoubtedly won't be the last , life is so tough at times and gambling is always there ready and waiting , it may av caught u off guard this time but our recovery is a learning curb and u will learn from this it will make u a stronger person

In time am I sure u will adjust to the changes in ur life and find everything ur lookin for to make it complete , like u I know where I am right now and it's hard a constant battle how I didn't relapse not long back I don't know how I got as far as picking a horse online placed my bet only for it to decline due to my card had expired and that just shook me came back on here and not looked back

U will come back from this Lucy ur too strong I know if I had placed that bet and gone on a spree it would av only been temporary , we both know what gambling does and where it takes us and neither of us wants to go back there , even now I see no difference between me and u yes u may av had a small slip but I would av but were both on here fighting

We will get to where we want to be and it will take time and we will be there for each other every step of the way

Take care

Castle2

Good Evening

Again, thank you so much for your support as always, i have been reading and it's so great you are all doing so well, i'm so proud of you all!

I'm sorry i'm still not up for posting on others but hopefully i will feel able too soon.

Well today marks the end of the 6 weeks holidays for me and i must say i am so glad i will be in work tomorrow.

These 6 weeks have possibly been the hardest time for me in years, way too much time to think,way to much time to anaylse everything within an inch of it life, way to much time to dig up skeletons which i feel did not need to come out but maybe it's good they did because now they have been firmly put to sleep.

Well my moods have been erratic to say the very least, on top of the world one day and then feeling like i don't want to go on the next.

I feel like my emotive state had been dead for many many years and then now i have so many racing to the surface i don't know how to deal with them or even what they mean half the time.

When i'm happy i can give reasons, an example yesterday was a great game of footie from my team, was over the moon with the new signing and the way we played.

Then i wake up this morning feeling like my world had caved in, very tearful but did not know why which then makes it all the more frustrating.

When gambling all my thoughts were centered around that whether i was loosing or winning (not often) i was just like a robot, my mind was always thinking about the next punt, my marriage was a mess but it remained the same cause i did nothing apart from work, normal day to day stuff then just gambled, i had no life!

Today i have my life back because i choose not to gamble, yes i had a slip, knew it was coming and now in a way glad it happenend as it put it all into perspective that i do not want that to continue, i don't enjoy it, it does nothing for me, it bleeds me dry and at the end of the day it is because i want to escape!

I know that i need to find that happy medium, will be hard as i have always lived with highs and lows but really need to settle down and take things easy, i need to not get so excited maybe over a good game of footie or go over the top on a night out, i have to learn it's ok to just be rather than trying to make things more exciting or over the top.

If i can achieve this then when less good days come i might be able to just go with the flow and chill a bit rather than going all out and make it so much bigger than what it possibly really is.

My goods friends make me see sense, i know they sometimes get frustrated that they think i don't listen or want to take advice and again this is something i will work on. From the age of 16 i was on my own and fought and worked hard for all i have , so why would i want to risk it all again? I DON'T, i just need to take on board some advice now rather than try to do it all myself.

No thoughts of a bet since my slip, still hate it with a vengence and feel very strong on that score, it's just the rest i need to try and sort lol

Been hiding myself away alot over the 6 weeks, making excuses for not seeing others or visiting family and friends, when this was pointed out to me and said that when i did i was really in a good place so why the f*** wasn't i doing it more it made so much sense!

So a new academic year to start, a new time to make those adjustments so i try and stay in the middle like Shiny more and hopefully a new beginning so xmas will be the best it's going to be for years, one where i hope to spend time with the family and just enjoy being me, not too high and not too low!

So hopefully in the week i will get back to you all, Tomso,if you read this well done today and to the rest i raise my glass cause you are all top people!

Keep Strong all and thank you

Lucy xxxxxxx

Hi Lucy, great post my friend, so glad you're doing well in this everyday battle called life.

You go girl !!

Have a great first day back at work, ours went back on the 22nd Aug, so kids are back in the swing of things here - thank goodness 🙂

Take care,

Cameron

Yes, Lucy, and I raise my cup of steaming joe with both hands to you my friend. Have a great day! Stay strong! Hugs. joanxx

Yo,

Hope today goes well !

Just wanted to say , it took me near on a year to find my middle , taking little steps to eventually find what it was, keeping going Hun , you'll get there and be joining the rest of , who will be brighten every day by sharing the lane with smiling Lucy .

Big big hugs

Shiny xxxxxxx

hi lucy big hugs from me, hope all goes well with getting back to work.

carl

Lucy.

Hope the ankle biters have left you at least with a knee joint!!!

I enjoy your diary as I have said many times,you deliver it in black and white.

Lucy you are making the right choice for yourself and I hope through this you do sit in the middle lane, something recovery has taught me is we as cgs tend to be a lot gung ho!!

It is good to take in the veiws from time to time, you dont have to always drive you can just enjoy the scenery.

as i say and could'nt say enough, just do what works for you.

Me I will be inspired enough too.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Lucy,

Hope it goes well for you on your return back to work.! Back to some routine Im sure you will very soon get back into the swing of things in work and back home... Your a fighter dont ever forget that!.

Take care

Blondie xxx

Hey Lucy, just a wee fly by to say I hope works gorking out well for you, and the kids are well, being kids 🙂

Stay strong friend

Cameron

Lucy,

I hope you are enjoying your first week back at school and things return to normality quickly for you. I understand how your holidays can be long and sometimes lonely. Having said that I bet by the end of next week you will be looking forward to your October week off.

Wishing you well.

Tomso.