New beginnings!

Hi Lucy,

Want to wish you a very happy new year.

Thank you for making me smile and supporting me.

Love Sue xx

Hey,

A very Happy New Year to you! Hope to hear from you soon that smile is very much missed 🙂

Flagg

Hi Lucy,

Picked up from a post you wrote on another's diary that you will not be posting much on yours. I understand completely but, selfishly will miss seeing your name and reading your inspiring posts. You were the first person who wrote on my diary and it meant the world to me then and still does now. You are a great lady Lucy. Stay strong and proud. Big massachusetts hugs coming your way! -joanxxxx

Hi Lucy,

Hope you still have that huge grin?

Thinking of you.

Sue xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Lucy

Keep it going - you now win everyday

Dave

Hey lucy, thank you so so much for your post and well wishes , still cant quite believe it happened, I am so happy. I noticed that your back in the game so to speak lol nudge nudge wink wink , you go girl. I am sorry you dont post much here anymore lucy but I get and understand your reasons why you dont. Hope all is well with you, great to see your in touch with ronnie and lmm . thank you once again lucy. Love blondie xxxxxx

Lucy,

Your post on my diary really struck a cord with me. It was the perfect pick me up. I realised straight away that was you said make so much sense. I have achieved in the past year and just because I relapsed and had a crazy two days doesn't mean I have to throw away all that hard work. Before reading that post I had thoughts about gambling and chasing my losses but as soon as I read your message I made the decision that I would continue on my journey of recovery.

I thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

Tomso.

Hi Ya Lucy,

Just in case you are still reading... wanted to send you a note to say hi, thinking about you, and wishing you all of the best. Staying strong I am sure, and as for me.. I'm still plugging along.

Best,

-joanxxx

Lucy,

I know that you don't post on your diary anymore but I wanted to send a message just in case you still check in from time to time. I have spent about an hour going through page after page of posts and it saddens me to see so many people who used to be very active on this site who are no longer with us. Anyway, I recognised from the start that you had a lovely heart and always took a great interest in your diary. I hope that all is well with you at the moment and life is treating you well.

Tomso.

Well it's been a while since I've posted , missed it tbh and have gambled a few times , been getting bad again lately and starting to dig a hole I thought I was out off!

Last week I had frankly had enough , again like many times before self excluded from the sites that let me back in , not just betting to win now even got into bloody games on facebook etc where you can pay for more life's and got bloody addicted to that so trying to knock that on the head as well!

So many changes , live in a new county with a great man , he has no idea and I hate the lies and would hate for him to find out cause he really seems to love just me , new job in London too , more money but then more to waste!!!!!!

I should be doing ok but have nothing to show for it because of this bloody thing .

Anyway thought I might try here again , I don't think i'll have the chance to post as much but hopefully check in once a week at least.

Off to my mountains next weekend so more thought time to get my head together and get on with living my life instead of just getting by .

I hope anyone reading this or my past diary some realise you can never give up , just keep trying , believe in you cause I know deep down I can do this just need a kick up the a**e sometimes to remind me there's so much more to life.

Still smiling but a little through gritted teeth at the moment!

Great to see so many still getting there , I'm behind you and getting there too

Take care

Smiling Lucy

Hi Lucy

also back on the roller coaster from hell recently so trying to write more often as although I had convinced myself otherwise I am sure it helps.

Also have been playing facebook games and have managed to resist buying any lives so far but they are stupidly addictive, just shows it is in my nature as my sister and daughter in law just play them now and again no problem.

Try and ungrit the teeth next weekend (dentist bills are horrendous these days). My dad was from Cumbria so know how wonderfully relaxing it can be wondering round the mountains.

Take care and enjoy.

xxx

Lucy,

Hi there and so lovely to read a post from you. You were one of the first to welcome me to the forum so long ago and I always loved to read your diary.

I so get what you mean by just needing a kick up the backside sometimes. Last year was turbulent at best for me. I know I can do it but just seem to self destruct. This year has been different and I believe in what I am doing again. It is hard to get on that path sometimes but once on it something just clicks. Clocking up the days has really helped me for some reason it gives my diary a level of accountability. Maybe it could work for you too.

Great that you have somebody knew in your life who can make you happy and feel appreciated. I suppose that is all anybody wants and the rest is just the cr** we carry with us in between our ears. I continue to try to be kind to myself but it can be hard sometimes what with the regret of how I have lived my life in recent years. Lots of regret and guilt but I remind myself that I can only make the very best of today and as long as we keep doing that the past is what it is - the past.

I hope to read regular updates on your diary and would love to see you benefiting from some quality abstinence. You definitely deserve it.

Tomso.

Lucy

great to read a post from you, all be it tainted by the fact that gambling is still causing upset in your life.

Sounds like there are many positive things to build upon, for that be very proud.

The compulsion to gamble is unfortunately something which is difficult to explain to folk, even more so when they don't know the depths of where it will take the addict.

I hope to see you use the forum again to build your resolve and look forward to reading updates.

Enjoy those mountains, remember be very kind to yourself.

One day at a time life without gambling will improve.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Good afternoon,

Been thinking today about WHY?

Well in the past I have found many excuses under the sun but I'm hoping I have finally realised that there is no excuse , I am an addict pure and simple !

My whole life has revolved around doing many things that are no good , many have been harmful to me but I have not always continued unlike this that is so self destructive.

I have learnt along the way to stop some things but this one keeps coming back , I now know it happens more when I'm stressed but it is no excuse, I must find another healthy way to deal with it because I know it could destroy me , I have an ok life, I'm lucky I'm employed and love my vocation of work , I now have a happy relationship though I'm still bloody married to someone else and that it still an on gong battle with the house etc but it will end eventually .

My son is living with his girlfriend , holds down a decent job and is growing into a remarkable young man despite Mum not always being great due to gambling, so proud.

I now have the opportunity to get back on track and use my hard earned cash for positives rather than gambling.

Just posting yesterday and receiving a few posts has giving me such a boost , thank you , I believe this is a strong place to get it right and I will give this a jolly good go again.

Life throws many a curve ball , some people I believe are genetically programmed to have the ability to become addicts , some can fight it off easy and some will battle for life, all I hope for is that I can start back and fight this curse cause I know no one else can do it for me .

I want to get better , that's the main thing at this stage and as time goes on life becomes a little easier and happier the longer I remain bet free, I've done it before for a good long while so know I can again but believe this time it will be for longer , hopefully forever but one day at a time.

Keep strong, believe in you , I know we can all do it

A little smilier today

Lucy x

Good morning

Day3

The sun is shining and I'm really feeling positive again after a long while.

Lucy