Soz Pops, in my head that was a ROL.
I note that your offer of £1 a month didn't extend my way which is a bit of a shame really coz we've started a moan jar @ work...10p a complaint & it's looking like I'm gonna have to buy some gaffa tape or extend my overdraft!
I know I come across all GA or the Highway @ the mo but you know my journey & all I'm trying to do is tell people who need something more, that the thought is much scarier than the action.
w*f are you doing fitting bathrooms on a gammy hip...Couldn't you take up something a bit less challenging, like sky diving?!? You've gotta listen to them men in white coats Pops, they know what they're talking about!
All those years hiding in the house have made my upper torso ghost like and I don't want to burn as last time I looked like a lobster lol
Another reason is because I work outdoors were restricted by hse what we can wear on site and my arms and bottoms of my legs are extremely brown and the rest is red neck white lol
I can't wait for a beer though my last was just before Christmas.
Less about moi how's everything going with yourself and the kiddies?
X
650...nice tidy number...
To be honest al. ...I'm traumatised this morning...
Thought id treat myself to a coffee and smoke in the garden before I start work....popped in here ....for a mooch...big mistake really.....
Some freaking bloke....as orange as the days long.....in Speedos !
Never did like those darn budgies !
How will I get round Morrison's without flash backs ?
Don't forget to slip/slap/slop id you're out and about today....or you'll be changing colour as well...
Knotted hankies are back on trend ....mwahhhhh x
Bloody hell im must be getting old I'm replying to you my diary lol
Yo duffer. ..quick 5 before school run...long story...!
Just wondered if your grandchild has arrived yet. ...if not your poor daughter must be melting in this heat !
I am...and I'm not pregnant...tis probabally complicated by my current age group !
Anyhow.....off to school I go. ..
The oldest swinger in the playground ! lol
Stay cool
Lol ..how weird...posted that question to you this morning while out having a smoke !
Got fecked off with the quiz game after....shut screen...then forgot !
Bless her....bet she's getting Fed up now...
Won't come till its cooked...
I've got a new friend. .it's called fitbit .....my new toy. ..
Fitness freak in the making
Lol...
Let me know when babes arrived...any excuse for a drink
Mwahhhh x
Thinking of you all...
Grandchild arrived ?
Kiddies gone to New family ?
Chippie 're opened ?
Busy time for you Mr fish. ..
Still chaos here...daughter moving into her place next week...
Invested in a fit bit....don't want to be 50++ and wobbly !
Obssedd now with steps..calories burnt and stairs climbed .....
Still....much healthier than my last addiction ...lol.
And not a morsel of anything unhealthy has been consumed by me for over ten days....
Well ! !. ..maybe a f*g or two...and an odd wine !. ...but hey ho .....one thing at a time...
Anyhows.....must fly. ...calories to burn !
Mwahhhh x
All ok big man ? xx
Massive congrats grandad...you'll be a great one ..
Hope mum and little man are doing well....a Very special time for you all...enjoy..
I hope those special boys settle well with there forever family...and that they handle the transition as well as can be expected....hard times for the eldest chap...he's got you guys though. ...you'll take care of him..
Back to the chippy then...sure the collar will rub for a day or so. ..but you'll be loving being back with your customers I'm sure ! ?
Daughter/granddaughter settled in New place...hubby busy with building furniture ..curtain poles...blinds ..etc etc....it's been lovely having them here...but if I'm honest...it's nice having my pad back to normal now....
Pubs been busy. ..in fact ...the last six weeks have passed like a tornado...but that's how I role. ...so I'm happy....
I've really really really got to find time to decorate so much of the flat....but god knows when ..lol..
How the freaking hec I spent so much time glued to a poxy online slot machine is beyond comprehension. .....but hey ho...I did....and as we both know...we can't change the past. ...but least now ...we can both look forward to our futures. ...
Only one gripe .....you could have called in for a beer whilst you were down this way !
Anyway....back to the grindstone for me.....well actually..the bar....
Women's work never done...and all that...lol....
Enjoy that little baba. ..
Take care..
Mwahhhhhh x
Dear Diary :)).
It's been a while my old friend and I'm kinda neglecting you these day's , a far cry from 700 day's ago when I came to this crazy Gamcare world and would post at least half a dozen times a day and maybe more when the " Banter" was in full flow with lots of humour thrown around the forum which saw many of us here though the dark early day's , I'm pleased to let you know diary that it worked and I've not gambled in any form since the day I arrived , so thank you :)) .
Do I still think about placing a bet ? ...........Yes of course I do , I can't erase nearly 40 yrs of gambling completely from my memory can I ? but I don't think about it constantly anymore , it's usually when a problem lay's itself before me or a large bill turn's up and the mind of old start's to think " MMMh .......Maybe just a little flutter would solve it "......?? but I realise these day's that trying to gamble my way out of a problem will only make that problem increase in size a 100 fold and the long term consequences would be truly devastating to everything I've fought so hard to regain and rebuild , My family , friends ,loved ones and my life, I really came soooo close to losing it all :(( .
What seemed like an eternity at first watching my day counter flip over slowly " One day at a time " has this past 6 or 7 months turned into " I can't believe another month has gone already " feeling , so I guess that's a sign that I'm getting used to a life without gambling being my main ..........? well , only focus in life really ! .
I look back now and think how scared sh1tless I was of a life without gambling in it ,I couldn't go a few hours without a bet most day's so how in the hell was I really going to never have a bet again ? , I used to say to myself "Give yourself a week or a month to get it back under control " and you'll be fine again , job done but soon realised for me it had to be all in or nothing as I knew dam well as soon as the first bet had been placed it would spiral outta control .
In " Recovery " ( God I hate that word ) I discovered I'm a " Fixer " , I'll happily go around sorting out everyone elses problems where I can , taking thier pain , anxietry and anguish My partner , my kid's , my friends , even the customers that come into my shop , all of which came at the expense of the one thing I couldn't fix " Your's truly " , so that's what I've been doing , giving myself a full MOT and service ready for the road ahead :))
In hindsight giving up wasn't the big fight I was expecting but it had it's moment's along the way , I went through many different emotions and just like a rollercoaster I was up one day and down the next , Happy, sad and downright angry some day's , mad at other people on here because they told me the truth which sometimes I really didn't want to hear, I think all of us gamblers on here like to think everything applies to everyone else and not us ( he can't possibly be talking about me can he ) ?. Other day's I was just mad at myself for allowing things to get so bad before finally applying the brakes , but finally all that up and down nonsense finally settled into minor bumps in the road which I've realised is just life pi55ing in your freshly brewed morning cuppa on odd day's , not all the time just occasionally but that's something I've learned to deal with properly instead of running for cover to the bookies machines , I no longer hide nor am I a " Dreamer of fortune " .
Everyone has a different method of stopping gambling and for me it was quite simple, all I had to do for the first time in my life was to let Gambling win, instead of continually going back for more punishment and take another beating as I had done all my life , this time I just surrendered and said " ok , you win " which for the first time in my Gambling career meant that I'actually had won , not a small prize either but "The e***n Jackpot ".!! .
There was no internal dialogue arguing the pro's of having just one more punt anymore , for me the battle was over and if I no longer felt the need to go just one more round with it and have it beat me to a pulp then gamblings day's were done and I no longer felt the need to get revenge by placing another bet :)).
The changes since I've stopped have been immense , the mood swings ,the lying and covering my tracks are all things of the past , I've watched my Beautifull daughter marry her sweetheart last August , began fostering with my wonderfull partner a year ago and last month I watched as my youngest Graduated from Aub and just over a week ago was presented courtesy of my daughter with my first grandchild , which aint bad going for someone who was looking for a way to end his life a week before coming to this wonderfull place and I can proudly say it's good to be alive and reaping the rewards a gamble free life has gifted me :)).
Many thanks to all my fellow CG's that have contributed along the way , no need for name's you know who you are and to my Old fathfull Diary , who's taken in every word I've ever said :)) xx
If you want something better from life ? then take it for free :))
My name Is Alan and I'm a Compulsive Gambler ( no bet for 700 day's )
#yousoppyoldgit
Morning buddy,
Not sure where to start with the congratulations!!! All the things you have achieved over the last 700 days is inspiring mate, especially the last year giving some kids a boost in life with your fostering, I know it's heartbreaking having to let them go but you and the Mrs have set them on a path to a better life.
All the great family things you have experienced with latest becoming a Grandpops which I'm sure you will be great at.
It's been a tough year for you with the Hip Hop hopefully that will give you a new lease of life in your Grandpops stage if life. With having to close the business for the last 6 months some less determined people would not have made 700 days.
Your support to me and others has been second to none and I thank you for that, I'm sure our old mucker Deano is still lurking around the site and if he was still posting would want to thank you for the support and banter that has nearly got him to his first year.
Catch you in a month when the next target will be achieved until then KTF. xxx
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In case you can't quite work out what the heck that is...
It's a pint....to celebrate you're 700 days....I put it in a tankard....cose sleevers are for the younger customers ! 🙂
Seriously Mr fish. ...I'm made up for you....and I wouldn't be chugging along behind you if you and my other musketers hadn't grabbed me when I fell in the gamecare door....
Tis true....we don't all get together as often as we use to...I miss the laughs and nonsense we all shared...but thankfully lifes moved on to better things for all of us.....team work...
Anyhow....enjoy you're day ...you've earnt it.
Mwahhh
Fantastic post Alan...even if ODAAT thought it soppy 🙂 ......so identify with much of what you said..especially giving up the fight with gambling, accepting it has me beaten. I echo Oldham, your presence here is a quiet inspiration. Helen.
It's ok to be a tad soppy Al, as I'm about to show.
I think a fine post, it showed honesty and humbleness. As I've said before and as Martin has said it's very admirable what you and your partner have done with your fostering and giving the little fellas a chance every one should get. So I salute on that score.
We've had our spats and no doubt pi....ssed each other off. But I salute again and you've stood by in what you believed in. It may sound odd but I believe our last spat when I threw in a little passive aggressiveness was a spring board of sorts for me to take a step in the right direction as I noticed a element of resentfullness in myself. Hard to explain, but you helped in a round about way in taking my sucker punch and subsequent response.... A cyber kick up the a**e
Anyway, I think that your back frying grand pops Al, good on you and best
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