NEW DAWN , NEW DAY , FEELING GOOD !

Congratulations on the arrival of your first grandchild Alan.

Great news!

Consider myself one of the many people you have helped on the forum.

Thank you again Alan.

In my opinion you have been a consummate and prolific poster - more so when I joined - who sort of inadvertently showed me by fine example how to use the forum.

Interesting then that I have also been described by people as a 'fixer'.

Mainly by people in the courtroom in my case though.

All just a misunderstanding.

Find your mindset and method insightful and inspiring. Pleased to see you continue to post.

Changed your life and helping to change the life of others in the real and cyber world.

That's cool.

Well done Alan. >

Guy's thank you all so much for all the kind word's , I wouldn't be here without all of you helping me through the ups and down's of the last couple of years .

It's very Humbling and thanks again :)) XX

Cheers Big " D " , it's just like old times on here with you turning up and under a different name , with no thread to post on :)) .

I'll catch up properly with you soon as I'm just finishing up my shift and my Shrapnel wound is giving me Jip ! .

Glad thing's are good and your stayin on the straight and narrow ( that's my boy ) :))

Kisses xx

I've just unsubcribed from yahoo newsletters as thiere now doing a " Sports daily fantasy " ! Asking me to deposit £5 and get £50 in bets free ? .................................Mmmmmmh ...? We all know where that'l lead don't we :(( .

Hey, Alan.

Firstly, thanks for your post on my diary. It was the first one that I have received and it was much appreciated. I have just had a flick through your diary and have followed you since day 250. Fantastic achievement to pass 700 and to see the happiness that you have in your life now is truly inspiring. I would have been interested to have read your first 250 days. What was the final straw for you or the thing that made you start this diary? How long was it until you started to feel the benefits and when do the urges become less tangible. Sorry for all the questions but I am at the beginning of the journey and would love to emulate what you have done so I guess I want to see what makes a successful abstainer tick.

Cheers and congratulations

Jay

Hi Alan,

Thanks again, your advice at this early stage is invaluable. When you said don't make the first bet and the second won't follow, that struck me as sound advice and I will do all of the things and more that you suggested to keep me from heading into the bookies : )

Good luck with the rest of your day, I look forward to reading you next entry post.

Cheers, Jay

Hi Alan, congratulations re: becoming a grandfather!

Thanks again for your post on my diary - no hand grenades yet!

Hi Al..

Thanks for the post as i know I'm difficult person to approach...Well done for your bravery lol...

Firstly congratulations on becoming a granddad...sorry if missed something but i hardly follow any diaries now...i guess all is well in your world ☺

Sorry if gave wrong impression..i love my house and it's the best in a village ;-)))))...has a massive garden and a drive! Important assets for me ☺

You know me well in saying I'm never happy. That's correct. Everything cannot go well in my world and i guess i am looking for something to give me headache if it does...bahhh..that's me!

Dog walking groups sounds great but I'm not so sure about B. Since her season she is very nasty with another dogs to the point i do need to put muzzle on her now and again..she is still lovely with people tho...need to check her out with vets and probs get her done....so socialising with other dogs has to be put aside for now ☺...their and her safety comes first!

Blocks...that's correct. I have money to gamble (would find it for sure) so i know where you're coming from. Proper active CG excuse huh..i shall look into blocks accordingly.

I will be ok and as you know yourself, time heals all the pain..just hope it would go quicker put patience is the key in recovery.

Thank you again and deffo applaud you for your bravery 😀

Keep safe Mr Fishy and look after yourself and yours.

B&S xx

Thanks for your kind post Alan.

I still get some fear when I first notice you've posted on my diary. Obviously goes back to previous spats but that fear suggests that I do respect your opinion. Other people I have disagreed with do not provoke any such reaction.

It feels good to be in the club with the reprobates.

Glad to see you in a nice chilled space

Louis

Art class !
Well....I'm making an impression on my landing and hall way now..or a flipping mess...but hey ho..twill be clean and fresh. ..New carpet not coming till next week...so plenty of time !
Hope the shop is rocking once again. ..bet the Mrs is enjoying having
time without you ! lol
Soooo you was only about 40 mins from me tother week...never mind...maybe you'll have time to pop in if you visit again....lovely place for those little chaps to settle...my family lived there around 55 years ago...and my hubbies mum actually came from there...he was adopted at birth...so no connection with area for him...
Me....I'm fine. ..probes just had busiest weekend on record...so looking a tad rough this morning...shower and max factor will sort that before I open lunch time...but I'm good...I lost my dad couple days ago....but can't be sad at all...he was a good age...a very religious kind gentlman...who had such faith of going to be with his maker...so I'm happy he's now at peace and not suffering...
The funeral maybe delicate...not spoken to one of my sister's for couple years...she took over my mum's fiances (mum/dad divorced 35 years ago)
And discovered she had given me some money years ago...dribs and drabs to cover bills I couldn't pay whilst actively addicted...
When I started my recovery last year I contacted her to say could we please get together as id like to explain something's etc....I was ignored....and have been since...we were never close...much older than me and lives away...so we will see what the next few days bring. ..I really want to get the chance to explain my addiction to her. .I spose I'm a little put out...beeing blanked just like that....with no chance to explain...but...that's her choice...anyhow...I'm strong now...and will happily talk if she will listen....it won't send me back to the slots... rite. ..best get myself a mot...have a good day..x

Dear diary .

Just a thought but do I / we as Compulsive Gamblers do so because were impatient about life and once stopped do we still carry those traits with us through recovery ? .

Thinking back to when I was in full addiction mode and remembering the way I would gamble convincing myself it was the way ahead in life , gifting me and my family " The dream Lifestyle " but as with any CG I would alway's focus on the big win's I'd had along the way and almost erase the more frequent " Bad losing one's " , the last big win I had 7k before hitting the destruct button one final time and I remember thinking how I wanted a new car , not any old car though I wanted a Range rover and all I kept saing to myself was " Oh if you go to the casino and do the same another 3 times , you can by the car you want outright for cash " not use the 7k and save for the rest , it all had to be immediate !

I found myself feeling that way in early recovery too , trying to do as little as was needed and not questioning myself too much ( the path of least resistance ) I once heard it called , I felt that I could crash through recovery in a matter of months if not week's and be magicly cured and on my merry way .

These day's I know it's a long and probably endless road I walk but that's fine too as I'm no longer in any rush to do anything , instead choosing to take each day as it unfold's dealing with the bad times head on and and enjoying the increasingly good ones I'm earning asa result of the choices I make .

As Paul " Volcano " would say " A random post " :))

Thanks for the 'congratulations' Alan....the days seem to have become less important....now the challenge is tackling those things, feelings, that still give me the urge to run to the casino. With self exclusion it is not an option.....believing that life is better without slots makes it not an option....but at present I still feel as though I am at the bottom of a hill rolling a stone up. Good to have your support. Thank you. Helen

Hey Helen , I just logged on again and saw your post so please don't think I'm stalking you :)) .

Those urges are tough to overcome sometimes they really are and at times it's all you can do to just ride them out until they subside . Some day's my stomach used to be in knots as I tried to fight the feelings that so desperatly wanted to drag me back and I won't lie to you that occasionally even now that thought pop's into my head but just for a fleeting moment and which are easily dismissed , so trust me when I say " It will ease " :)) .

I finally got around it by refusing to do battle with it , I stopped worrying about the money and time I'd lost and finally said to gambling " I'm done fighting with you , no more beatings " , sometimes it's about knowing your letting go forever a crutch that youve supported yourself with for so long and I can empathise with those feelings of " How will I ever cope " but I liken it to being fear of the unknown , that time as a kid when you let go of gthe swimming pool edge and out on your own without a float or the first time you finally ride a bike without the staberlisers or a parent holding on to the back of the seat , which ever way you look at it there was never a reason to be afraid as you kick your legs and swim or peddle like mad and ride away and suddenly realise your managing just fine . After all that please don't tell me you can't swim or ride a bike !! :)) .

If you need to chat You know where I am :))

And I've just realised I've posted to myself :((

Morning Alan, flicked through your random yesterday. Guessing the majority of my life I was pretty impatient and wanted the easy road with out the effort. I was more a mug punter and looking back, not sure what I was really gambling for as always been pretty immaterial and basic.

I still find myself impatient but no where near as much as I use to, and practice or try towalk through my impatience now and wait for things to unravel naturally. Something I have noticed of late is that I don't number crunch as much as I use to, I've got debts and some big bills coming up and these would be things on my mind and would constantly be throwing figures around my head but that's quietened down as it slowly seeps into me that I can only do my best...

A little train ramble there for you...

Thanks Alan...I can both ride and swim....out of practice at both...but at present feel as though I am wobbling about on a bike without stabilisers....I just need to pedal harder. Part of me feels as though I am wasting my life...and it is rapidly passing by. My grandmother died at my age, my mother developed early dementia...I need to live life before I lose it....I better get pedalling!! I'm just not certain how to start.