NEW DAWN , NEW DAY , FEELING GOOD !

I've just sent a really ****** email to my so called business adviser at my bank ( something that while in addiction I would never have done ) and it felt really good :)) .

I approached them over 3 weeks ago and had a meeting which I thought went well regarding a small remortgage on my business , I've spent so much over the last year with my daughters wedding , refurbing the shop and having 3 months off work because of my Hip replacement and I really need to replace my car .

He's promised to get figures out me twice and failed to deliver on both occasions , the last of which were due last friday , so I'm a little ****** to say the least , so I told him that unless I had a reply by close of business tommorow I'd take my business elswhere and if worst comes to the worst I can make do with the car for another 12 months .

Anyway the email worked and I got an apologetic reply immediately , I've probably shot myself in the foot but as I'm no longer in active addiction this time I'm not scared of them looking at past statements and seeing card withdrawl's at Casinos and bookies:)) .

I'm not desperate this time to get my hands on funds and it feels really good to take control again :))

nice work Alan! I hope i keep discovering the small rewards of being gamble free as well

I completely recognise that fear of someone seeing statements - even myself!

Looking forward to welcoming the QE to her home port and my home town tommorow , I'm sure the place will be heaving as she sails in for the first time , I can't say I'm a massive royalist but occasions such as that alway's make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end ! .

Had a couple of Navy Chef's in the shop earlier tonight who aren't relishing it quite as much as they have to be shoreside at 03 .30 am to prepare the food for a Champagne breakfast for all the top brass attending :((

Another random post and another gamble free day crossed off :))

Night all :))

Good on you for questioning the bank and I hope they are supportive to you and your business. Enjoy the QE tommorrow, I watched the three Queens sail in a few years back and they are impressive liners. Keep up the good work!

The most stupid quote I've ever seen " Honesty won't undo the damage done " ? ( Of course it won't ) So better to keep lying and do some more damage then to justify it ? .

Individuality 's one thing and sure recovery's bespoke but without the foundation of honesty you don't have jack !

All the best for the upcoming year mate .

See ya on the otherside :)) x

Hi Alan,

Thanks for the message, things did get a little out of hand for which I would like to apologise also.

Onwards and upwards. All the best!

ItMattersMore

Going to dive on youre diary al !
The young brickie...can't keep up with his name changes...you know the one....he's often flipping around in a mankini...and he hasn't usually waxed !
Well...it's his birthday today...50 I think...and I can't find a freaking diary for him....so thought id shout "happy birthday" to him on yours !
God knows where we're going to have his one year bash too !
Hope all good you and yours...I'm decorating again. ....so sporting the silver streaked hair this week. ....mwahhhh xx

You can't put an " E " on the end of your poo , you know the stance on drugs on here mate ! :))))

Thanks for the explanation as I did wonder what happened , I just assumed you'd been stopped at a border crosssing with your Tan and Mankini , then thought No !! they don't have borders from your part of the country , Tee Hee !!

So 37 candles eh ? , as you know and are alway's reminding me I've socks older than that and honestly struggle to remeber back that far :(( .

Nice to hear from you though mate and just remember " Poo " doesnt have " E " in it unless youve been clubbing the night before :))

Stay safe Buddy :))

Kisses

So just as I thought the Bank turned me down for my remortgage :((

Strangely though I feel quite happy and in a wierd way slightly relieved , My business advisor emailed last week to arrange a phone call this morning , which told me before the call that it wasn't going to happen as he'd of probably have sent a set of figures over for me to look at before the call .

Gave the excuse of " The loan's more about you than the business , so from a commercial point of view wouldn't hold up on your commercial mortgage " the fact that I put 35,000 in to the business for a refurb 3 yrs ago didn't seem to matter either but had I wanted the money for that it would have been ok ! .

I just don't understand the criteria for lending these day's , I owe in the region of 40,000 on my commercial mortgage on a property worth in excess of 300 k , so where's the risk ? .

As I said though I'm not unduly worried as there's no particular rush to change anything and if my recovery's taughyt me anything it's patience is the key and these day's I'm no longer trying to find fund's to gamble otherwise I'd have been in panic mode by now .

Oh how thing's are changing :))

Thanks for posting on my diary alan . Feels good to be heading for my double century .

Thanks also for your 714 days GF . Inspirational reminder that recovery is achievable .....stephen

Afternoon dear diary .

Just taking in the events of the forum the last couple of day's and the way " Positivity " is being somewhat frowned upon as a tool for recovery ! .

I know that by itself it's not going to solve every problem that we as Compulsive Gamblers have created for ourselves but is " Negativity " going to solve thing's any better ?

Where do we begin when we arrive here ? I liken it to being "Dropped of in the middle of knowhere with an old suitcase full of bit's of mostly a " Cra..ppy " few years existence stuffed hastely inside " We don't know exactly where we are so look around for a little guidance from someone / anyone really that can explain how weve arrived here and the best way to eventually get home.

Then out of knowhere comes a hand of friendship and support from a group of likeminded individuals , we begin to exchange thoughts and stories and the hand of friendship begins uttering the words we want to hear " It's ok my friend I've been here a while and walked in your shoes , I'll show you some different way's out and you can decide the best route to take " but it also tell's you that there's no quick fix and that it could be a while before your ready to catch the express , your a little disheartened at first realising you can't just have a little chat and a coffee and be on your way and really hope that as it's going to be a while there's a functioning toilet on the platform :)) you try and think of way's of finding another way out but there's only one decent train out which only run's when your ready and the only other one back is from where you came and that really isn't an option as it's travelling backward's .

So you hang around , listening and learning as you go, all the time knowing this journey is not going to be an easy one and for some there are many "bump's " and "potholes " along the way, others come along dismissing the Idea that you'll ever find your way out and it's true somtimes we come completely of the track's and end up back where we started in a train wreck, but because of all of our hope and positivity we find a way back on, all the time gathering information and learning along the way so as not to repeat the mistakes we made positive in the fact that we will reach our destination of " No more Gambling " on the train called "Positivity " because in simple term's " We need it and Were going nowhere without it " .

My name is Alan and I'm a Compulsive Gambler .

Hi Alan. Great analogy with the steam train steady and chuffing towards a positive gambling free land.

Yo alan not been on here much ...so not really up to speed with what's been going on...
Frowning on positivity ?
Far better than drowning in negativity !
To me...posativity is as important as ..admittance. ..acceptance. .and alteration. ..my recovery will be a life long jouney....so being posative I will crack on with it one day at a time....to the best of my ability. ...right /wrong way of doing this journey...who knows...it's a journey none of us will ever and....today I'm fine. ..tomorrow I hope to be fine...posative thinking...I think xx

Hi Alan, Just thought i would pop by to say thanks for your posts on my dairy and for giving me the big cyber kick up the backside which i undoubtedly needed, things are still pretty raw with me right now ,start of a long hard road for me but can use you as an example of how my life can be changed for the better, the help and advice from people like yourself on here really makes a difference.