New diary for 2024

We all mess up Stace one way or another, seriously hoping you are finding a fresh path away from the addiction, finding the right help and reaching out to the right people. As i said we all mess up and you and i are no different. When people say work hard they mean have a look round select the best option for you, try something new, anything just dont stop trying, so many people wanting you to comeback strong and then explain to all of us how you did it. Come on Stace.

Posted by: @cpparch

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Massive well done Stace!! 2024 will be your year!! 

I’m on day 154, so very close to you! Xx

What a lovely positive non gambling journey you are on Stace. 👏. Sorry about your loss however. 😥. My sister tragically and suddenly lost her son 10 months ago and our whole family has been affected by this and devastated for our sister.  I am supporting her the best I can and bless her, and I feel ashamed to say this, I had to ask for her help, the end of last month, when I gave most of my hard earned salary away to those online gambling sites. She bailed me out without judging me and still asks ME daily, how I am doing! The shame of it! Enough to make my mind up that on 1st April, I decided, after placing my final bet, that enough really meant enough for once and for all.  Like you, I have done well over the years and then relapsed big time. I think I have finally seen the light that anything I have ever won, has only been a loan to me as I would just pay it all back to those gambling sites and some more, putting me into even further debt!

Take care and I look forward to following your journey.

Pink Lady. 🍎.

Ah diary, were to start!! 

So much gone on these last few months, I've kind of lost myself.

I've not been coping and my mental and physical health taken a huge battering.

I've been up and down with the gambling, I started to gamble on Facebook again, on a bingo page after an old friend reached out and asked if I wanted to join her group, stupidly I said yes. But I've cut down loads and have now taken myself of her group and blocked her. I went so long without gambling so I know I can do it again, and I will, luckily this time I've not got into any debt.

With my mental health, I'm on new meds, I have an app with the psychiatrist Tuesday to discuss my meds, and therapy. I'm not feeling to bad, the past few days I've been feeling abit happier, even reached out to a friend who I've been refusing to see as I wouldn't leave my house, and were meeting Monday for lunch, so that will be nice. I've managed to get out walking to after spending so long stuck inside, fresh air definitely helps your mental health.

I'm also starting bereavement counselling in the next few weeks to deal with the loss of my mother, in extremely traumatic circumstances,  I know I definitely need that, I have Flash backs most days of the night she passed away, her death left a huge mother shaped hole in my life, something I'm never going to forget, but with help, I can come to terms with her death.

Thanks to everyone on here whos wrote on my diary and supported me in the chatroom. Also thankyou to the advisors when I've reached out for help. Thankyou

The fightback begins, kudos to you for fighting back, do what you need to do and claim your life back.

What a beautiful sunny day its been today.

I've been really unwell physically and its stopped me being able to do anything due to pain and fatigue,  but today I promised myself I would work through the pain and get things done. So I got up early, took my painkillers and had a coffee in the garden. I then stripped the beds (all 6 of them 🙈), got washing done and out on the line to dry. I've spent a few hours in garden enjoying the sun, got through all my washing, even had a cuppa with my sister. Just finished making all the beds back up (nothing beats a nice bath/shower and getting into a fresh bed 🙂). Made kids there tea and cleaned up afterwards. This is the most I've been able to do in a while, I'm now exhausted. Just had to take more painkillers but I'm so happy with myself. I have my MRI scan on Tuesday, and not gona lie, I'm bricking it, really am scared. Will take a week for results to come back, cross your fingers for me 🤞

Mental health wise, I'm doing much better. I have an amazing support network around me, which I'm very greatful for.

As for gambling, I'm doing well. Have had urges , but have used my coping techniques to get through them, which are really working for me. I did really well before my relapse, and plan to get as far and more as I did before.

So my plan for tonight is a nice bath and early night. Might wrap my daughters presents to as its her birthday Tuesday 🎂 

Hope everyone is doing ok

Hi Stace.

What a lovely positive post!👌. 6 beds!😲. Wow! That’s some workout. Lovely feeling though, getting into a freshly, fragranced bed, showered and clean P.j’s on. 😍.

Sorry to hear you have been feeling physically unwell.  Wishing you the best of luck and prayers for your hospital appointment 🙏.

Take care.

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Ah thankyou for your kind post pink lady, hope your doing ok and your recovery is going well

Take care

Stace 🌞

So today is a beautiful day, its so hot here, the sun is shining, it always makes you feel happier 🌞

Been reflecting the past couple days over my relapse, and I've been asking myself what triggered me to go back to it. Because I went months without gambling so know I can cope in stressful situations,  think it just all got too much and I caved. Luckily though I didn't ruin my savings, which I'm so thankful for. Today my daughter wanted to go shopping with her friends, my kids are so lovely , they never really ask for anything so she was so happy when I gave her money to go, and it made me feel happy to. I've stopped gambling so am back to topping up my savings. Going to go shopping next week to get my 5 kids there summer clothes, and I feel so greatful that I'm able to. I know I relapsed but I actually had some control over it as I didn't touch my savings, but I'm back to being gamble free, and that's one stress gone.

I've been spending alot of time in my garden, and it looks beautiful,  did a memorial plot for my mum and daughter, with beautiful roses and scattered abit of both there ashes there, its beautiful and a place I can sit and talk to them and remember them 🌹

Theres alot going on in my life right now, but I have been taught amazing coping techniques by my support worker, and they really do help when things get too much. I'm trying not to worry about my mri scan results as it can take up to 10 days to get the results and I don't want to spend those days worrying myself. All I can do right now is pray for good news, I have 5 kids and need to be ok for them.

I'm going to enjoy the sunshine now and take my kids for a picnic, there ready to go now so time to say goodbye.

Hope everyone has a good weekend and I hope your recoveries are going well, if not, don't give up, you can do it, stay strong.

Stace 🌞🌹

@stace Well done Stace.  Control is key and the fact you were able to deal with your small lapse immediately is the important thing to remember. 👌👏👏👏. Forget that now and concentrate on all the good work you are doing around not gambling and the lovely rewards it is gifting both you and your beautiful family. 🩷.

May you have a lovely day today.

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

So didn't get the positive results I was so desperately hoping for.

Going to take time out to process things

Take care all

Stay strong

Lifes to short to waste gambling, you don't know whats round the corner

Stace

So sorry to hear this Stace. I do hope you get some better news around the corner. There is always someone here if you want to chat. 

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best

Stay strong 💪 you can beat anything 

Really sorry to hear this Stace. 😢. It sounds like you have a very loving, close family around you so this will be key, to help with your recovery.  Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Wishing you health and strength. 💐.

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Not only do you always find a way to smash things, you often show us all the meaning of the word fight. Its what you do, and you will again. 

Hi Stace.

Just checking in . I hope today is kind to you and you are being kind to yourself too🤞🙏. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you.

Wishing you strength and peace. 💐.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.