Hello Forum,
A little about me first, i have been gambling since my early 20s and now in my mid 30s. When i started gambling, i had a good job which paid well, savings to put towards buying a house and overall very happy and lucky. Then the addiction kicked in, i would start going with friends, then soon i would go on my own to casinos and then the online bug started. Within a few years with multiple loans taken out and racking up the credit cards, i soon had to do the unimaginable and re-mortgage my house. The worst was the shame and humiliation and no one to talk too as was scared to tell my parents or friends for what they would think of me.
Last year i took a stand...i self excluded from all online sites and most of the casinos where possible. I did well, 3 months non gambling, slowly paying my debts off but still had a little money left over to go out with friends during the month so i was on the way up. Then, like any disease, the lust took over and managed to find a new casino that i was yet to self exclude from and popped into a casino (why they cannot create one self exclusion for all online and casinos i do not know as would help a lot of people!). I lost of course 2k, then the following week another 2k and then yesterday another 2k.
I have had enough now (have for years tbh) and looking at this site have already picked up a few tips to keep away ie dont bring your cards with you to places where casinos are so cannot spend what you dont have. I think this blog will help me lots too where i can vent my frustrations and talk to people in a similar situation to help me stay clear and get back on track to where i want to be.
I have a short term 5 year plan in place where this would relatively clear my short term debts off ie credit cards and loans to be able to then start saving and going on nice holidays rather than making up lies to friends about not being able to go on holidays with them as simply i cannot afford too with the debts.
Any advice, tips are always welcome and i hope to kick this habbit one day at a time from today!
Thanks
New me 🙂
Hi Deano
Wow, thank you so much for this, didnt realise this existed. Will be filling it out right now 🙂 thank you so much
nb
Cheers again Deano, any other good tips you have by any chance, will take everything at the moment. Really want to see the back of this nightmare and get my life back on track without gambling!
@ Brownie139 - not sure if you were wanting to say something but your post came up blank
Day 2, taking each day as they come but am still determined. Stay strong all x
Cheers Deano 🙂
Yes definitely will be doing
Hope all is well
nb
Hi newb, good to see you in chat last night. How are you doing? Hope you are getting on ok. Remember to keep as many blocks in place as the more you have the harder it will be to relapse. You sound very positive and that will help you through this journey. Read through other diaries and you will see how others have coped and hopefully pick up some tips for yourself.
Just remember that casinos/bookies etc are all businesses out there to make money......if we was to win all the time they would go bust.......they will just keep taking......you will win everyday that you don't give them your money.
Take care
Hi Tilly
Yeah I am good thanks, early stages but remaining positive 🙂
I blocked myself from the online stuff last year when I first tried to really give up and tbh that has worked and I have been clear from online casinos for months and months. My main vice was casinos when I went up to London but with Deano's advice have filled out a form he shared with me so I am excluded from them all. So I am hopefully. Stupid thing is it has taken all I have and the chasing was pointless. I have drawn a line against my losses and like you say everything I don't gamble is money towards getting my life back on track 🙂
Thanks for checking in on me and your support. Hope all is well with you
Take care
nb
x
Day 3 still staying positive. Didn't sleep well last night though, even though drawing a line under my debt it is so much and cannot stop thinking how stupid I was to spend all that and not value money in the first place 🙁 out with friends tonight to catchup so looking forward to it.
stay strong
nb
x
Hi Newbeginnings
Thank you for posting and sharing your experience of your gambling history and the effect it has had on your life. It was encouraging to know that in spite of the shame humiliation and fear of telling your family and friends, you still felt you were able to take a stand.
You have described your relapse as the gambling lust taking over and the need for more support. So I am glad to see you have been given a helpful link for the self-exclusion scheme by others on the forum. You also mentioned you now feel you are at a turning point. You may find it useful to speak to someone about how you are feeling.
For more information about our free confidential counselling services speak to a specialist adviser on the Netline or the Helpline on Freephone 0808 8020 133.
You have also made a great start with your decision to put a short term 5 year plan in place. I want to encourage you to keep going and believe that it is possible to overcome problem gambling
All the best with your recovery
Kind regards
Cade
Thanks for your support email Cade, means a lot 🙂
nb
Day 4 - 02/03/2016
Feeling ok, no urges as yet, although had no real temptations being out near a casino, however the self exclusion of casinos wont let me in so this will help lots. Had a fun time last night with mates and i feel a lot more calm and relaxed now i have acknowledged my debt is in the past and to not chase a losing cause in trying to reduce through gambling.
Stay strong all
nb x
Hi new beginning you look like you have gotten off to a. Positive start in your recovery. Have you thought again about telling any of your family? I realise it would be hard but I'm sure they would rather you tell them than finding out/guessing like I did about my son. You might feel relieved that it is out in the open and they could support and help you in your recovery. Only you know how they will react nb. Best wishes. Wcid.
Hi Wcid, thanks for your message, nice to hear from someone who has supported a loved one with this. Tbh i always think about it and think about them finding out, but no, the thing is i am in a lot of debt and some of it their money as they helped with the deposit to my house, and i got into the position needed to remortgage, so i am so ashamed to tell them, as i know they would support me, but the consequences of maybe having to sell my home and move back in with them is too much i think. I know they would support me and they have done so much for me, which is why this is hard. Thanks for the best wishes, i am more determined than anything to stop to disease eating away at my life now and start enjoying my life for what it is! nb
Day 5 - 03/03/2016
All is well, really looking forward to my first target of a week. Looking forward to the weekend gamble free!
nb
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