Long post ahead sorry,
Will start by saying for many years now I have been a compulsive gambler, I have lost thousands and thousands of pounds and got my self into loads of debt that I am struggling through. I can't really say where it began other then I remember playing on the 2p machines on holiday about aged 8 and even then I hated to lose! I have gambled from a young age but nothing too bad, however I fell pregnant with my gorgeous baby boy 2 year ago, while on maternity leave and stuck in the house with a decrease in income I started to play online slots, the downwards spiral started from there, many times over the last 2 year I have tried to quit and failed. There's just me and my son at home and I'm ashamed to say i am behind on bills, yesterday I spent my wages as soon as they hit my bank 🙁 I have food for my little boy and everything I need for him until next week, but I will have to go without myself for a week, the least I deserve is a few days of hunger anyway. No one I can turn to for help as people are getting suspisious now. I am at breaking point where I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, I can't believe what a horrible selfish person I have turned into, I need to do this for my little boy! Day 1 of no gambling and I sure am very determined. For my boy. Sorry for the ramble, heads a shed.
Hello Charlie's Mum...welcome to recovery 🙂 Listen, it's hard at first but you've taken a big step by recognising that you have a problem and by joining this site. You're not alone and there are many people here who have been in your shoes. It's hard bringing up a little one alone (and what a gorgeous little one he is). You're right, you have to do it for him...but you also have to do it for yourself and your own sanity. You're feeling pants right now, but it won't always feel this way.
From a practical point of view there are things you can do to help yourself. You may have read about breaking the triangle (money, time, location) Take away one of those and you can't gamble.There are blockers you can install on your computers and phone that block gambling sites...self exclude from all sites...give your bank cards to someone else to look after for you and limit your access to cash...report your bank card as lost/stolen and get a new one then scratch off the cvc number on the back (without that you can't deposit online). These things buy you some time when the urges strike.
As well as that, it's worth giving the gamgacre advisors a call to talk things over with. They can arrange counselling to help you discover what the underlying reasons could be as to why you gamble. Plus there's GA for real life support with a group of people who understand where you're at.
There will be a food bank near you who may be able to help. I know it's hard to talk about this with people, but if there is anyone who could support you it might be worth openeing up to someone you feel you can trust. Stay close to this site...read other people's diaries...post on your own as often as you need to. It's good to get the emotions out and this is the perfect place to do it. You're not a horrible person....you just took a wrong turn.
Best wishes. LifeBegins x
Just wanted to welcome you CharliesMum, you've made the first step and well done for that.
Keep posting
Hi CharliesMum and welcome. You've got some good advice already so I won't repeat. Remember in order to look after your son you need to look after yourself, but going hungry won't help. As was mentioned there may be a foodbank nearby and I would advise confiding in family and or friends also and maybe they could help in terms of filling the cupboards a bit. I know this might seem unthinkable at present but it's the best way. To suffer in silence is not beneficial to anyone. As we go through life we all need help from time to time, this just happens to be a time when you need it.
I have a young son also and would move heaven and earth for him as I'm sure you would for your little one. Fair play to you coming on here and seeking help in the first instance, you've taken the first step to a better life for you and your son.
All the best
Just wanted to say a quick hello...
You are defo not a bad person...
Addiction makes us take wrong decisions ....
Nothing is un sortable. ..
Read as much as you can on here...Will catch up with you later..you are not alone hun x
Hi Charlies mum and welcome to the forum :)).
My name's Alan and I'm a Compulsive Gambler , bet free for the last 13 months since I came here , so I suppose you could say this place with it's wonderfull mixture of people and support really works :)).
It doesn't really matter what we gamble on , the problem is we can't stop and when we get in that cycle of gamling losing and then chasing our losses that's when it becomes a problem , We cannot win because we cannot stop , it's no longer about the money just the buzz we get from gambling and anything we do win just goes straight back on betting again to keep us in the loop , crazy really when you think about it ?.
Weve all been where you are right now , no money left and and gambling debt's that weve built up over time , the thing is as soon as you commit to stopping the debt will start going down and your hard earned money starts to go where it's supposed to and pretty soon things start to improve :)).
If your gambling online then you need to do a few thing to keep yourself safe when the urges come along to gamble , you may feel pretty crappy now but our gambling mind soon forgets how bad things have got and you start thinking about winning some money back to repay your debt but that never ends well and you not only don't win but end up more in debt and back in the cycle again .
You can download blocking software so you cant acssess the gambling sites , there's a free one called K9 or , net nanny and betfilter are one you can purchase , although these will give you some time to think about what your doing if you succumb to temptation , like everything they can be got around and a lot has to be about you and your willpower , you can also self exclude from sites and even think of changing your email address so they don't keep throwing offers at you trying to entice you back , which beleive me they will because they don't want you to break free from their clutches :((.
Depositing by card ?, then maybe report you card lost and when the new one arrives scratch off the 3 digits on the back without making a note of them of course !!.
Things will get better I promise , when I came here I was a total wreck , I didn't know which way to turn and had got to the point of thinking of ending it all because it was so bad , I came clean and told my family everything and havent looked back since and once that brain fog lifts from your mind you'll start making moves forwrd and pretty soon things will start to look better .
I notice you havent confided in anyone yet ,might be well worth thinking about as always its your choice but gambling thrives on secrecy so if someone else is aware of your problem , you'll have support and you'll be less likely to think as your the only one that knows about it , if you have a crafty bet nobody will ever know ?.
I wish you well Charlies mum ( beatifull boy by the way ) :)) And you thought your post was long Lol !
Hi Charlies mum and welcome to the forum :)).
My name's Alan and I'm a Compulsive Gambler , bet free for the last 13 months since I came here , so I suppose you could say this place with it's wonderfull mixture of people and support really works :)).
It doesn't really matter what we gamble on , the problem is we can't stop and when we get in that cycle of gamling losing and then chasing our losses that's when it becomes a problem , We cannot win because we cannot stop , it's no longer about the money just the buzz we get from gambling and anything we do win just goes straight back on betting again to keep us in the loop , crazy really when you think about it ?.
Weve all been where you are right now , no money left and and gambling debt's that weve built up over time , the thing is as soon as you commit to stopping the debt will start going down and your hard earned money starts to go where it's supposed to and pretty soon things start to improve :)).
If your gambling online then you need to do a few thing to keep yourself safe when the urges come along to gamble , you may feel pretty crappy now but our gambling mind soon forgets how bad things have got and you start thinking about winning some money back to repay your debt but that never ends well and you not only don't win but end up more in debt and back in the cycle again .
You can download blocking software so you cant acssess the gambling sites , there's a free one called K9 or , net nanny and betfilter are one you can purchase , although these will give you some time to think about what your doing if you succumb to temptation , like everything they can be got around and a lot has to be about you and your willpower , you can also self exclude from sites and even think of changing your email address so they don't keep throwing offers at you trying to entice you back , which beleive me they will because they don't want you to break free from their clutches :((.
Depositing by card ?, then maybe report you card lost and when the new one arrives scratch off the 3 digits on the back without making a note of them of course !!.
Things will get better I promise , when I came here I was a total wreck , I didn't know which way to turn and had got to the point of thinking of ending it all because it was so bad , I came clean and told my family everything and havent looked back since and once that brain fog lifts from your mind you'll start making moves forwrd and pretty soon things will start to look better .
I notice you havent confided in anyone yet ,might be well worth thinking about as always its your choice but gambling thrives on secrecy so if someone else is aware of your problem , you'll have support and you'll be less likely to think as your the only one that knows about it , if you have a crafty bet nobody will ever know ?.
I wish you well Charlies mum ( beatifull boy by the way ) :)) And you thought your post was long Lol !
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