So after 8 months being gamble free I've hit the slots in a massive way . Really want to end it all right now !!! I really dispise myself why did i do it 1000 gone in 2 days not im literally skint with no more money for a month !!! Im so desperate for help to stop this horrid addiction don't know what im to do. So tired of the battle . The constant urges to play . All i can say is im physical done I've nowhere else to go from here I've given up !!
Hey SG :)) Sorry to hear youv'e had a bit of a wobble , 8 months is no mean feat so something must have worked for a while !.
You said about ending it all right now ? which to be honest is exactly how I felt when I arrived here 18 months ago but looking back I don't think any of us really want to go down that route , In my case it was that I just wanted the pain of gambling to go away . Passing words onto you that were gifted to me " Suicide is a "Permanent" solution to a "Temporary" problem , those words helped me put things in context and I hope they'll do the same for you..
It does get tiring and draining in all way's and it's a vicious cycle of repeat , Gamble win , gamble lose , beat yourself up and then gamble again to try and start back where you were in the first place , it's no wonder our mind's are all over the place is it ? .
If youv'e gone 8 months without gambling then you know you can do this :)) , I found for me it was all about the letting go of the losses and for the first time in my life admitting defeat and realising I could never win as gambling had beat me into submission . Accepting that gambling is all about odds and statistics and that those odds will always be in the betting firms favour should show us all that we will never win .
The money youv'e lost although a fair amount can alway's be re earnt , it doesnt help how your feeling right now but as you do know it will get better :)) .....................Imagining your life without gambling is quite a scary prospect , I know it was for me when I stopped , I'd gambled for 35plus yr's so " How was I going to manage without my gambling crutch to lean on " ? but trust me when I say " It is all about the fear of letting go for good " It's like the first time you let go of the edge of the pool learning to swim as a kid , As soon as you do you eventually realise you don't need to hold on any longer ? . :))
If your feeling that low , then please consider talking to someone , either a family memeber if you can confide , or Gamcare or the Samaritans or if you feel a little better then just keep putting your thought's down on here ? .
Were not here to judge as we all know how you feel :))
Take care and I'll talk with you soon .
Alan Compulsive gambler
Ty Alan for your reply x I've spoke to gamcare yesterday and they are referring me x just just d**n frustrated with myself for going bk after all that time x
HI Sg , I'm really Glad youv'e spoken with Gamcare and hopefully it will help immensely :)) I can also understand the frustration you feel but that slip will hopefully be the catalyst you need to keep you gamble free for good , sometimes we get a bit complacent almost coc.cky at times because weve gone a while without a bet It's our gambling brains sucking us back in by saying " I can control this now " but I know where that ends as I did it many times before finally stopping completely .
Just get back on the horse and keep pushing on , I'm sure you'll get to where you want to be :)) xx
Bk to day 1 been so stupid . Now got nothing for the MTH my kids don't deserve this !!!!
No way bk now so all that's needed is goodbye to my kids I love u very much always remember that X
Sorrygorry... what do you mean no way back now??? You can get through this and turn it around
I can't I've tried and failed so many times . I've hurt those close to me . We can't survive with no money an it's my fault so I need to take myself out the equation for good so they don't have to struggle ever again ....
... It's for the best
Please come with me and prove we can beat this! We get 1 shot at life not 2! Some of us are blessed with what the rich would give there wealth up for! OUR KIDS!! There's always a way out!! I PROMISE!!! Its only money!! Be strong and accept your financial loss!! It's so much easier than your babies accepting there loss! I know from experiance!! IT'S ONLY MONEY!!!! YOUR BABIES NEED YOU!!!
Tomorrow speak to stepchange and register for gamstop!
You still have a chance to turn your life round, DO IT FOR YOUR FAMILY PLEASE!!
I've got a dmp plan with stepchange already coz of debt through gambling . It may only be money but you can't survive without it ! Believe me the kids would be so much better off I'm a waste of space how can I tell them an my husband I've done it again. I've spent everything ??? How can we live with no gas an electric food ? This is totally my demon an I did it .
Why the heck did I go on after everything ? Why did I personally choose to deposit money that was for the kids to eat ??? Because I'm a bad mother nothing else . My babies don't need that in their lives an I know initially they would miss me but they would have a better life . They certainly wouldn't be hungry again .
I've self excluded from all casinos but seen a new one an joined like a pathetic idiot . I've now spoke to them an they've closed my account but it's too late now the damage is done
Also spoke to gamcare and nearest GA meetings an support is Liverpool an I can't get there . I've tried to look into gamblock filters an can't afford them too
Ok.... u seriously need to calm down! (Sorry for calling you dude btw) your having what i call the gambling hangover! Its only money, It's gona blow over i promise!
Right, so your on the dmp ok, from the sounds of things you may need an IVA, contact stepchange straight away, explain your situation including how your in it, next you need to sit down with your husband and open the flood gates, you need to tell him everything, gambling and how your feeling about you wanting to end it all!
When i got my self together after the hangover i really felt selfish what i was gonna do, if you had the choice as a child even as an adult of money or your mother what would you choose seriously, i know the answer!
Your asking why you did it? well the answer is simply you have an addiction, an addiction which can be controlled with help and support! If u can't get to GA get to your GP, they will point you in the right direction, but first off tell your husband right away!
There's light at the end of the tunnel! Your family would feel alot worse than your feeling now if you done something stupid, seriously consider that! You and your husband will sort your finances maybe ask family for a loan or help during the month
Let the battle begin, you got this
Ps register for GAMSTOP!
I can't talk to him I seen him him crumble the last time . He told me then he couldn't go through it again. He's a good man an works hard he deserves better than me !
He had an affair and that was down to my addiction. I drove him to it he doesn't see the hold it has its simple to him I made a choice to deposit if I cared about them I wouldn't ! Stupidly lay in bed watching utubers winning loads an thought maybe I can help the finances by winning but as your all aware that doesn't happen and from trying to ease finances I'm now in dire straits . I've been awake all night trying for payday loans. Ect but nobody will touch me prob coz I'm with stepchange. As for family I don't have anyone anymore through this literally me, partner an kids .
Tomorrow is when it will surface when we need electric and gas when we need food shopping ect so today is a tough day for me maybe I will slip out later
You CAN talk to him, you HAVE too!
Ok it's gona upset him but the milk is spilled already! After you have spoke the first step is took!
It ain't that HE deserves better, its that YOU deserve better! You deserve to be free from the demon inside, you deserve happiness just as your kids do, you've just a mountain in front of you atm but you can get over it!
Do you really want your kids telling there friends for the rest of there lifes they don't have a mom? Of course you don't! Cmon get your self together!
I was in the same place as you 50 day's ago and i made it through, if i can do it so can you
The roof's proberbly gona lift off but sit him down now and get it over with, time will bring calm!
Instead of making your next goal ending your life make it ending your gambling addiction and cleaning up the milk off the floor
You still have time
You still have your journey which ever way it go's
And you have gods biggest gift in life..... your babies! Do it for them you have the strength in you!
Sat looking at my kids knowing their world is about to turned upside down again , my heart is aching I can't face telling them yet again the person that is supposed to be their first them has let them down again thought of walking out but I can't live without seeing their faces so that only leaves one option left
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