Day one - 1st of February 2014 - The Start
After reading a few topics, i am hoping that this helps me and other people like me to recover from an addiction that has caused so many problems. Yesterday i had £170 come in to my bank, with the intent to avoid bookies, i saw an email from ****.com so i signed up and was up £100 from £20 however i then checked out a slot called age of dinosaurs or something and soon i had depleted that balance and was transferring funds from my bank to fuel this craze, all because i wanted the stupid bonus feature which never came. Anyways, i went to bed realizing that i had £60 left and needed to stop, so this morning i woke up and sat in bed for a couple of hours and thought i need to change, i need to stop. However despite saying the same sentence in my head previous months, i never helped, nothing changed but this time im going to give it a go. So fingers crossed.
So this morning i woke up, temptation has set in and there is a part of me inside, crying out to gamble, crying out to spend money i don't have, but im fighting it with anyway i know how. Its like a curse, demon or whatever that's trying to take hold of me and lure me to the depths of despair but i have beacon of hope, something to draw strength from, like superman has his sun, i have my son and a picture of him in front of me is what is giving me courage to finally fight this demon of an addiction, no longer will i spend £1 let along £10 or £100 to feed my first but i know it will be hard, i know the road to recovery is rocky but once i do i know the outcome will be far greater and i wont always be broke, i just need to say NO!!
Hi gambleez
I do not have lots of words of wisdom as only in day 3 but I am the same as you will online slots (well gambling)
But I can say there is a lot of support here and everyone wants you to beat it !!!
Just keep strong and keep posting
Hi G
Welcome to the forum! Try getting some software blocker for your phone or computer, it gives you time to think if you want to gamble. Don't be too anti-gambling as it can have a negative effect. Gambling will always be around us so we have to learn to respect it for what it is. For some they lose slowly and it isn't a problem either time or financial wise. For CGs like ourselves it is all or nothing. Ask yourself how much would you like to be in front before you cash out? My answer is I would keep going and inevitably I'd lose everything.
Keep reading and posting
Take care
Thanks for the replies, i know what you mean smiler, it is all or nothing, there is no middle ground, no im up £50 lets walk, there is always that hunger for more and more. Thing is my gambling has taken me too places i never thought i would end up, ive sold brand new phones, laptops, cars etc and poured that money into gambling and for what, a few lousy quid, now im starting to put that focus, that drive that i get from gambling, channeling it into my working life and i reckon if i can some how turn that hunger into wanting to succeed then ill be a millionair in no time. Its hard but it can be done but your right gambling is everywhere, i think i need to specify it though, no bookies and no online gambling, im leniant on lottery and on the odd occasion scratch card but the big ones are what im going to avoid because they require the time and effort to going into them where as if i took 5 minutes to ask myself before i do, do i really want to do this knowing what i have gone through before and just walked away, my path would be different.
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