Once Upon A Time

Hi Elfie,

I just wanted to say how much I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this and how happy I am that it seems what could have been a 'Grimm Fairytale' appears to be turning into a potentially glorious 'Happy Ever After'.

Keep up the writing, you are marvelous at it.

All the best

Ian.

Hi Diary

Thank you Joanna and Ian for your posts. What a day!

I received an email giving me 5 free spins so I stupidly went on to the site ( hadn't realised this was still open) which I honestly thought I couldn't do with my phone but there it was. I wasn't able to access the slots where the free spins were but I was able to go into a different slot. I looked at it, I wanted to play, I have some money in the bank. Everything was in place to gamble. What did I do? I contacted their chatline and excluded myself. Permanently.

Who knows what would have happened if I had used the free spins...would I then have deposited? I like to think not but I am realistic enough to know that I cannot be complacent. What stopped me? I could have deposited and played a different slot but I didn't.

Two things stopped me. The first and foremost was that I didn't want to let my fellow soldiers on here down and the second was I didn't want to let myself down.

Oh, and the fact I would have felt like a hypocrite when writing the final chapter of the Princess's tale.

I will continue with the Princess later but at the moment I am still reeling (excuse the pun) from the near miss and I am also feeling guilty for even going on the site in the first place.

The good news is I didn't gamble so I am still in recovery.

Phew (wipes brow with shaky hand).

Elfie

Hi Elfie - Respect! I think you showed great fortitude in your 'near miss' experience and should not be feeling guilty but proud of yourself for not succumbing. Something similar happened to me this evening - I was on a newspaper site and saw a headline "The slots the casinos don't want you to know about" or some such sentence. What did I do? - immediately clicked on the link to find out more. I even found myself writing down the slots mentioned..... then realised it was a cunning marketing ploy as each game was linked to a particular gambling site.

As you say, not wanting to let down myself and fellow 2014 Challengers was the motivation to go no further with this. I think sometimes we underestimate the effect being part of this site has on us.

We may 'weaken' in our eyes, but fundamentally our subconscious is telling us that it's a no-brainer. Even those who have faltered soon break away and resume their recovery, often with greater resolve.

Sorry for the ramble - the upshot is: The girl dun good!!

Best wishes,

Joanna

Hi diary

Thank you Joanna for your words of encouragement. I am feeling better now about my 'near miss'. At least I know I can be strong if need be.

Here is the final instalment of the Princess's escapades.

The Princess was exceedingly worried. She had enveloped herself in the Mystical Triangle but still needed some gold. It wasn't a vast amount however her sister, the older, more beautiful Princess, the money lenders in the village and the court where she served could not help her. Not this time. There was only one thing the Princess could do.

Again she called for her pink Smart carriage and went to visit the King and Queen. Now, the Princess had long ago left the King and Queens castle to make her own way in the world and she had never asked them for anything in that time. The Princess was nevertheless very nervous but knew that she had to do this.

No sooner had the words left the Princess's mouth then the Queen said "Off with her head" while the King stood helplessly by. The Queen didn't actually say that but it was implied. The King, however, did stand helplessly by.

The Princess was upset, she wanted to explain about the Magic Machine, the spinning reels, the bright colours and the magical music. She wanted to tell them about the evil spell which had been cast upon her and the Mystical Triangle now protecting her. The Queen did not want to hear any of this and merely said "don't worry we will still eat" amongst other things.

The Princess left there with the gold in her hand, her head bowed low and a terrible feeling of shame within her. Her beloved sister, the far more beautiful Princess, upon hearing what the Queen had said, vowed she would repay the Queen herself as soon as she was able, which she did.

The Princess, now with no Magic Machine and no keys to her counting house thought that the evil spell was now broken. Just to make sure she went to her old machine to check and there was no longer any magic as the older Princess had taken the magic away.

It was whilst using this machine that the Princess found a wondrous place. In this place there were many Princesses and Princes, all who had somehow fallen under an evil spell very similar to her own. These were good people who had lost their way just like the Princess. They understood, they knew the deep, dark place the Princess had been in (for most had been there themselves) and they listened to her. They offered her support and encouragement but mostly they made her realise she was not alone.

The Princess was asked to join the other Princesses and Princes in the battle against all evil spells. She became a Warrior Princess and stood proudly beside them all, ready to march into battle. Her shield was old, her sword blunt and her armour was light and tattered but she knew if she fell they would help her up and if she was hurt they would heal her. And she knew she would do the same for each and every one of them.

The Princess realised that everything she had been through had made her into the person she was that day. She knew at last that the past was behind her and she could look forward to a bright future.

The Princess had finally come home.

***ooh, nearly forgot**

And she lived happily ever after.

THE END

Obviously not the end but the end of one story and the beginning of a new one. Still work to be done, battles to be won and demons to face.

Elfie

Hi Elfie

Thanks for your lovely story I wondered how you would end it and the ending is as perfect as we can expect

Here's to new beginnings

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Hi Elfie

Thanks for your supportive words

Have a good gambling free day staying strong and positive

Take care

Suzanne x

Hi Elfie

Have really enjoyed reading your story. Thanks for sharing , I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking you have a real talent in writing and expressing yourself .

Happy recovery to you 🙂

Tx

Hi Diary

Thank you Suzanne & T for your posts. Maybe now I have more time I may write a book!

Now, diary, you have seen me through the first 2 months of my recovery and listened patiently while I rambled on about the Princess. We are now at the second stage of recovery. Two parts of the triangle are in place and the only thing left is to crank up the decibels on my Life Music.

As you know I am basically lazy and need loads of motivation to start things. Always have bright ideas but never follow through. All that is going to change as I need to make a normal as possible life for myself.

Firstly I will re-visit past hobbies. Because money is so tight these pastimes will have to be free ones - no rushing out to buy a horse (now, don't be silly, you know you never went horseriding before).

I want to make a vow to you now diary, I will do one thing every week from my list of past hobbies.

Or more if I can motivate myself. Will update my diary after I have started.

Elfie

Hi Diary

Well, as promised, I have made a start on my Life Music. I decided that to be able to live life to the full I would have to take baby steps. The years I have been gambling have pulled me down. I no longer look after myself or my home and friends have fallen by the wayside. I have no social life and I know this is a by-product of the addiction. But, as I said, baby steps. I will start with occupying my time more productively and, as soon as I finished my last post on Wednesday, I sorted out all my sewing gear. What a mess, I can't possibly think about doing anything creative unless everything is at hand. So success! Now all ready to start. I know my drawing equipment is just waiting for my eager hands and possibly my knitting stuff is lurking all together somewhere. These are things I used to enjoy doing before, amongst other things, writing poetry, learning guitar, embroidery and countless other things. I know this will not get me out the house to socialise but one baby step at a time and the rest will come.

Unfortunately I have been thinking about gambling today but I know it is only because money is so tight. I am not going to gamble because I still know the awful feelings of despair and I also know that it will just make the money situation much, much worse. I will not be complacent because I want to beat this.

I will update soon with hopefully more Life Music news.

Elfie

Hi Elfie,

Well done on abstaining and using your positive energies and time in a productive manner. Keep doing what you are doing and I agree with the baby steps. Stay strong and more importantly stay focused, love your analogies in your storytelling.

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Hi Diary

Thank you Cheryl for your kind words.

Baby steps indeed for me. Having sorted out my sewing gear I found I needed a pin cushion so have made one (wow, I hear you cry) out of a tea-light holder, kitchen sponge and bit of material.

I have also dusted down my guitar ready to take to work tomorrow so a musician friend of mine can tune it for me. Will get the 'teach yourself guitar' books out and start learning again.

Actually went out yesterday afternoon with a friend over from the mainland so that is helping, along with the baby steps, to boost my Life Music.I will get there, I know I will.

Will update soon with more news.

Elfie

Baby steps for me as well Elfie

i try not to get too ahead of myself with this addiction

well done tri

Hi Elfie

Well done to you keep going make that right choice

Take care

Suzanne xx

Thanks Tri and Suzanne, always glad to hear from you.

Well diary, baby steps indeed. Have not done anything remotely useful but that's ok. One cannot be occupied all the time. On a good note, I haven't gambled and each day seems to be getting better. I have been busy organising a Murder Mystery Party for my work colleagues so that will take up some time and will soon have my newly tuned guitar back.

On a down side, my OH will be away for a long weekend so I will have plenty spare time on my hands. Will be going to my great-nephew's first birthday party on Saturday and have plans afoot to keep myself busy the rest of the time.

I will come back to you diary with an update soon.

Elfie

Hi Diary

No updates on the baby steps but thought I would share my snippets of wisdom that I posted on someone else's diary.

" I am a great believer that whatever happens in our lives makes us into the person we are today. So, by that very thought, has being a CG for years made us more tolerant, compassionate and understanding of others' circumstances? I like to think so. As my Gran used to say "we're all going to hell in a hand-basket", Not sure what she meant but we did indeed go, didn't like it so we are on our way back!"

I am on my way back, dear diary, and don't ever want to be visiting that holiday destination again.

Weekend on my own coming up, what shenanigans can I get up to? (non-gambling ones of course).

Will update you soon.

Elfie