One day at a time

your doing well still , dont forget that , a slip not good but they get less and less the closer to stopping

Payday today + not at work .... usually means spending a day in the bookies playing the FOBT's

The urges havent gone away but im staying strong and determined.

Most of my wage is going towards my debts so really cant afford to mess up like ive done time and time again in the past!

I must be getting close to beating my previous total length of time that ive managed not to play roulette on the FOBT's. I deffo recall 2010 not playing them from 1 Jan to early April.

2014 and its been 1 May since my last time in a bookies.

Hi sonic

Well done on your days keep going and stay strong

Suzanne x

Thank you Suzanne x

Recently I posted fhe following on another thread

Everyone is different, different stories and experiences, some people have never bet on tennis matches in estonia or virtual greyhounds but have problems when it comes to FOBT's

You will read a lot of advice on here about the need to give up all forms of gambling in order to move forward

Personally i find this a very difficult thing to accept, I have (had?) a big problem with roulette on the FOBT's in the bookies. That was my ONLY problem part of gambling that I had, the only other things i really gambled on were football and once in a blue moon an odd horse racing bet.

so.... in april i banned myself from the bookies near my house (then one from near where i work). To cut quickly to the point I have not played an FOBT since 1st May. I estimate ive probably saved myself at least 500 quid. Howver i have allowed myself an odd bet on the football (I have an app on my phone with a bookmaker). Im not in profit with this but its not a big problem as i feel im in control of what im doing.

I sometimes think am (was?) i really a compulsive / problem gambler like others on here?

I think i am(was?) its just that there is (was?)only one form of gambling that I had problems with. Other compulsive gamblers will be unable to control what they are doing with ANY forms of gambling. For those types of gamblers I suspect responsible gambling is nearly impossible

Just to add - theres no way I could ever be 'responsible' when it comes to FOBT's (roulette). Thats why the safest thing for me is to stay away

But because im not a problem gambler when it comes to other forms of gambling im not putting extra pressure on myself to abstain from gambling completely. I'll still buy the odd lotto ticket, ive entered a dream team at work. I'll have the odd 5 pound football bet.

WHAT I REFUSE TO DO IS GO BACK TO ROULETTE WHERE I COULD BET 60 QUID IN A 20 SECOND SPIN WITHOUT ANY CONTROL OF WHAT I WAS DOING!! LOSING HUNDREDS EVERY MONTH!!

So..... Still no FOBT's... phew!!!

After reading quite a few posts on here I know deep down that I need to think very carefully about what im currently doing - allowing myself small bets, nothing compulsive but I am asking for trouble in the long run?

I honestly do feel in control at the moment but as my debts go down and I have more available money im scared I'll slip into my old ways.

Hmmmm what to do... what to do...

Some advice here that ive 'nicked' off a post I was reading (author - James P)

Be honest with yourself my friend - you don't have it in you to walk in, spend 10 and walk away; if you win, you want more of that euphoria, which will lead to losing. If you lose, you face soul-wrenching desperation to regain what you have lost, which will lead to losing. Nothing you ever do, say or learn will ever make you do anything different other than face that lose-lose scenario every time you gamble; accept it and walk away, for good.

Makes total sense... although I think Im doing well by staying off FOTB's and 'saving' money Im exactly the type oc person who the above applies to. So I guess im now saying im going to make a renewed effort to stop gambling all together.

Lets see how we go....

ps lost 15 pounds today on the 1.30 football kickoffs.

tomorrow will be day 1 - i dont like counting days tho as I get to a certain length of time before the voice in my head says you've done well you deserve a little bet like any other 'normal' gambler

Hi sonic

Very wise and sadly true words from James P

We can't stop so what is the point

Have a good gambling free evening

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Worked out my actual total debts yesterday.

My initial estimation of 9,500 at the start of my diary was, in hindsight, wishful thinking.

Im currently 8,965 in debt. This friday 765 will be paid towards it.

My challange to myself is to clear everything by the start of 2016 Olympics. That should be achievable!

Still not gambled since last post. Been very tempted but resisted.

Worked out today will be 150 days since was last in a bookies / played the FOBT's (1st May).

proud of myself for that 🙂

Thats two nights in a row ive woke up remembering dreaming about gambling -was playing fruit machines and winning quite a lot of money

Strange how your brain works!

Payday today but I have absolutely no intention of going into a bookies. Im glad im self excluded from the bookies near where I work and also the one near where I live - it helps immensly

So still thousands in debt but will at least get one creditor fully paid off today.

This is exactly what I have been doing.

I can relate to so much of this , my theory which a lot of people will slate is to carry on betting on the football , horses and lottery you know you can control that part of it.

The days that really count are the ones without the fobt , you have grown up like me when when we were younger all we could really bet on was horses , we never won massive amounts but the horses is enjoyable to watch , football is also good to watch with a little flutter on the goal etc , the fobt is different.

For me I will only be trying to cut the fobt from my gambling and for me this seems to be a tactic which is working , every day without a fobt is a victory , the small amounts we might lose on other sport related betting is not very much and something if we do lose we accept.

The accepting of losing 500.00 on a fobt is something we cannot do which is why we chase.

Good luck with your recovery.

Thank you for posting on my diary John, I also wish you all the best and would be happy to support you should you need someone to talk to. I will be keeping an eye on your diary.

The fotb's are the a nightmare for the likes of ourselves. I just find it impossible to play them for say 5 spins. If im down I will need to chase and if im up i'd want more and even if I did walk away I would be back the next day. NEVER ENDING CYCLE THAT I CANT ALLOW MYSELF TO DO FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS OR MORE.

Put the blocks in place mate, except that we just cant be responsible with that type of gambling.

Maybe one day when I get more time under my belt I wont be interested in any forms of gambling but right now im not putting too much pressure on myself. I know that contradicts what ive said in the last few posts but honestly betting 50 a month ( which i think is reasonable) is nothing compared to what I would be doing over the years.

If i win then thats cool and of i lose them its not a big problem - its actually nice feeling thinking im just a normal gambler who can control myself

My blocks are in place when it cones to roulette and I actually currently have no urges to play the FOTB's as I know where things would lead.

Double celebration tiday - 6 months since played a fobt and also my birthday.

debts are down to just over 7 grand. Feels good paying around 500 pound a month off them knowing that in the future that 500 will be all mine 🙂