Hi, not sure I can do this on my own but am going to try. I have been gambling for 7 years now(after a traumatic divorce and the death of my lovely Daf), not long compared to some stories I've read here but it got out of hand very quickly going from a £10 for a bit of fun where it didn't really matter if I won or lost to literally spending thousands in a sitting trying to win back losses. There is no fun in it anymore, none at all, even a win doesn't bring pleasure but that's because I know that inevitably it will be back in again. I've just had a 16 hour straight session (overnight) and have lost a £1000 - its only that little because I at least put a limit on it before I started and there aren't any other sites where I'm not up to my limit. I've tried a lot of practical stuff - blocking software, self exclusion etc. etc. but I find ways round it - new sites pop up all the time and I even went and bought a cheap tablet just for gambling one day. I am lucky enough to have a good job which pays plenty enough for my normal bills (provided I don't gamble) so pay days are terrible - I get paid, which reduces the overdraft and before I know it I've got myself into the state where I struggle to find the money for paying the mortgage and bills. I've recently blown my bonus too. I have huge debts and now have a poor credit rating. I have to stop now or my future is going to be very bleak. I understand there is a lot of support here but I'm too ashamed to talk to anyone so hoping I can just give it a go and break the cycle. So am going one hour at a time and hoping that that will go into days, weeks and months. There are such inspirational stories on here of people that have bravely fought this horrible addition so I know its possible, if hard, to come out the other side. Wish me luck and good luck to all of you in your personal battles
Hello Lou22,
Well done for starting a diary.
It sounds as though you are saying that feelings of shame make it hard for you to use support, so it is an achievement for you to share your story here on the forum. Please feel welcome to regularly update your online diary here, and if you like you can also post supportive comments on the diaries of other forum members. Over time you may become familiar with each other's recovery journeys.
You've mentioned that you've tried practical measures like self-exclusion and blocking software in the past. Another common recovery method is to schedule your time with other activities, to displace your preoccupation with gambling. For example some forum members use their gym membership more when they stop gambling, or sign up to a class at a local leisure centre or part-time adult education. Perhaps you already have plans in place for how you'd like to spend your free time these days.
I appreciate that you've posted that you want to do this by yourself, but if you decide at any point that you would like to use GamCare's free therapy services, you can get in touch with us on our freephone or netline, so we can talk with you about local or online options.
Take care,
Forum admin.
Like admin suggest, take up as many options as you can to keep in recovery. If nothing is still helping, perhaps consider Gamblers Anonymous as well? Good luck tri
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
