Hi there Colt, all still going very well in my recovery thanks! Just doing the simple things in life and trying to keep focused on what's important. Gamble free lifestyle is the only way.
Keep moving forward
Sam Crow wrote:
So I sat down yesterday with the little man’s mum to discuss more access and overnight stays. We’ve come to an agreement that he will stay over with me this weekend and once a fortnight thereafter for the time being. Only catch is the week when I’m due to have him overnight I’ll only see him one other night during the week (this was her suggestion as she is going back to work and wants time with him too). She did say I’m welcome down to hers to see him anytime provided I call to make sure they’re in though. Still not 100% sure when and how long I’ll have him for the following week – something I’ll need to confirm with her. It’s a bit of a mixed bag as I’m delighted to finally progress things in a way but I’m worried about the 3,4 or 5 day gaps that could potentially appear when I don’t see him. I’ve got so used to seeing him every couple of days and I’m sure he has too. What’s important is what’s best for the little man. We booked his 1st birthday party last week also! A couple of family members who live overseas can’t make it though which is disappointing but it is what it is. There will be plenty more birthdays I suppose.
I attended another great meeting at GA the other night. That place has been instrumental in my recovery and I honestly don’t know where I’d be without it. To be able to talk openly and honestly about things and listen to others sharing their experiences is very therapeutic. Every time I leave at the end of a meeting I feel fresh and rejuvenated, ready to face the world with the wisdom and advice I have just received.
The forum here has been very helpful also. I’ve gained some fantastic advice and support simply by reading and sharing. Some days I get more out of it than others and it’s also good to remember to give something back to those in need. After all we were all newbies at some point searching for help.
So that’s Day 100 gamble free for me. It’s just a number in truth and I’m more interested in how far I’ve come in recovery than the amount of days I’ve abstained. There are plenty more bumps in the road ahead and obstacles to overcome, of this I’m certain, but today I’m in a better place to face them instead of running away.
Keep moving forward
Keep working on recovery Sam. Complacency isn't a pretty colour. tri
Just a quick update, all going well and still GF. Mates had a poker night last night in one of the lads houses and I went along but didn't play obviously, just had a few beers and the craic.
Working 2 jobs and playing footy is taking it's toll a bit physically. Lucky I can only make one night a week training as the other I have my GA meeting.
Another good meeting at GA last night. Similarities in everyone's stories which I can relate to. We haven't had a new member in a while though and a few that started going around the same time as me have dropped away. I hope they are doing well and maybe they have found a new meeting, who knows.
All good in general with me. Got into work early today for a change, going to try and do it more often.
Keep moving forward
Been very tired recently even more so than usual. Could do with a holiday but that won't be happening for while! I'm mentally as well as physically tired. My mind is constantly running and I suppose I find it hard to just switch off at times. Need to slow down and appreciate the world around me.
Looking forward to seeing the little guy later for a few hours, singing wheels on the bus and itsy bitsy spider!
Keep moving forward
Hey Sam,
Glad to see you are still going strong mate.
I enjoy my time much more with my boy these days. Not so much staring at my phone while playing with him.
All the best
Damo
Day 136 off gambling - feels good to say that! I used to make targets of 100 days and save a reminder in my calender at work and rarely got that far.
Had the little man last night for a few hours and he was in great form. On the verge of walking soon (well I think anyway) and babbles away in his own wee language. His favourite word is Dada or Dad lol. I know it sounds cliche but I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much.
Had a lie in this morning as I've been shattered all week and I feel good for it now. Need to stay a bit later in work though but it's worth it as I'll not be yawning all day now.
Keep moving forward
Just found out there are promotion boards coming up the next few months, this is the type of good news I've been waiting for! Going to make sure I get it this time, totally prepared and no excuses. Plenty of work and prep to be done between now and then.
The stresses of life. I just wish people could be more mature in their thinking sometimes. The amount of selfishness out there is unbelievable! Got my son's 1st birthday party soon and instead of being excited I'm worried about how some people will act on the day. Instead of just smiling and getting along for the sake of my son (after all it is his day) they all have their own axe to grind. 'Why should I speak to him/her after what they did' 'Should they just get away with it after what happened' 'You don't know how all this has affected me' 'If your family and mine can't get along then the party is off' - This is just some of the selfish rubbish I've had to deal with the past while from both sides. I just wish people could put aside their own needs for a change and do what is right.
I need to learn that I can't change how other people are, I can only look after my own actions.
On a positive note no gambling to report. 6 months ago I'd have escaped from all the drama by betting like there's no tomorrow but at least now I am able to confront my problems (without having a bet). Speaking to my brother tonight, going to unload all and see if he can help make others see what's important.
Keep moving forward
Quick update - all going well, meetings as good as ever and we had an open meeting on Saturday where a member was getting his 10 year pin. What a day it was! Family and friends were there so hopefully they all took something from it and if nothing else realised they are not alone.
Got a couple presents for the little guy's birthday today. Still a couple more to get but what do you buy a 1 year old lol? Building blocks and lego (big ones so he can't eat them) are on the list but all advice welcome! It's going to be hard trying not to spoil the little man 🙂
Keeping it nice and simple.
Hope your little man has a great birthday. As for presents, my advice would be to keep it simple and save you're money for when he's older. He'll be happy with an empty box at this age...but in a few years he'll be working his way through the Argos catalogue with a highlighter and you'll need all the cash you can get! Besides, he already has the best present...he's got his Daddy back....and that's priceless!
Hi there LB thanks for the advice! You're right at this age he probably would be happy with an empty box lol. Christmas is just around the corner too so I may leave some options for Santa's prezzies as well. Hope all is well with you too.
Keep moving forward
Sam Crow wrote:
Hi there LB thanks for the advice! You're right at this age he probably would be happy with an empty box lol. Christmas is just around the corner too so I may leave some options for Santa's prezzies as well. Hope all is well with you too.
Keep moving forward
Hi Sam
Well done for keeping an open mind. Not always easy in this world right now. thanks for all your posts. tri
The engine light on the car dashboard came on yesterday 🙁 Hopefully the problem is a small one and can be fixed pretty quickly and at relatively low cost. Was working in the bar on Saturday night and woke up on Sunday feeling like I'd had 10 pints! I was playing football before hand and rushed home to make it in time for work. My work/life balance is skewed at the minute and I know I need to find some time for myself to just relax and rest. It's important to remember to slow things down and not look to far into the future and worry about certain outcomes. If I keep doing the right things then good things will follow. Think I'm just a bit tired in general and a bit annoyed about the car.
No gambling to report I'm happy to say. Looking forward to my meeting tonight to finish off Monday on a high note!
Keep moving forward
For the first time in a while I’ve been thinking about my debt. It stands at around 14k at present and will take about 5 more years to clear fully. During the last 6 months or so of my gambling I was obsessed with clearing my debt. I thought it would be the answer to all my problems and when I was debt free it would be like a fresh start. For the past 5 months whilst gamble free I haven’t given it much thought until recently.
Because of the debt I have to continue working a part time job so my social life has taken a big hit. I work most weekends which leaves little time to go out and enjoy life. In terms of relationships I feel ready to move on from my ex and start meeting new people again but because of the financial situation and time restraints I have been holding back. I’m worried that if I do meet a woman and we hit it off I won’t be able to do the normal relationship things like going out for dinner & weekends away etc. I almost feel like I’m stuck in limbo in that way but I don’t want to wait till my mid-thirties to get close to someone again.
These are the consequences of my actions gambling over the years. I always try to look forward but the odd time I do look back and think what I fool I was at times. If’s and buts serve no purpose other than holding us back. I can’t change my past but I can control what I do in the present and future.
I feel I’ve done a lot of growing up the past 5 months and I’m a better person for it. Circumstances may change for better or for worse but the one constant will be me gamble free.
Keep moving forward
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