Out of the shadows

Hi how you doing x

Hi Deano, heaven forbid you get man flu, but apparently it does exist! WIth regards to the gym, yes I joined one, never been a member before in my life but now feels a good time, need to get fit for my goal of working up snowdon. WIth regards to the gambling urges, most days don't even think about it, even when I do it quickly passes, abit like the f**s. I know I could never gamble even once because it would turn me back into the person I didn't like. Your doing well and I'm really pleased your in a good place now, 2017 is going to be a good year because there is going to be no gambling, take care and watch out for that man flu it's a bu g g er x

It bleeped f a g s out

You've let out a big secret with the title of your thread. The facade of bricklayers are the lion kings of the building industry. And, now you've told cyber space that deep down, we're wimps after all and are just big fluffy pu.ssy cats.

I was always a WHS trowel man my self. Always thought they were more robust than the marshal town. The robustness use to help me bash the s***t out of my level to straighten my pigs in the wall.

Now, after all these years, I don't use a trowel to bash the s***t out of myself, I use addictions instead.

Thanks Deano in well coming me back, I needed a lift and you duly delivered.

Salt of the earth = bricklayers. A little biest there but your doing good with this recovery process. I tip my hard hat to you..

Hi Deano, 22 days straight in the gym, that's impressive. SInce joining I've tried to go at least twice a week maybe 3 and do some excercises in the house. I would like to go more but work long hours sometimes, I want to get back to about 8 - 8.5 stone, currently 9.4. Was gutted when I got on the scales yesterday because I thought I would have lost a few more pounds then I had, my clothes felt a bit looser! I usually go on the bikes, running machine and cross trainer but the other day I tried this machine called the stepper, I could hardly move it. It's still all very new to me as I'd managed to get to 50 and never needed the gym but I do enjoy it and it's another focus for me and can understand when you say it gives you structure. It makes you feel good too-even though I feel like crawling home after a session. I've booked in with a personal trainer on Wednesday have you ever had a session with one? Not sure what to expect. The gf days are mounting up now for both you and I and I have learnt so much about myself and why I did it. Hope your family's well and speak to you soon x

Evening Deano,

I know we talk nearly everyday but I'd like to thank you publicly for all the support you have given me. You've played a massive part in my recovery I'm not going to go on but I consider you one of my best mates catch you tomorrow petal x

Hey Deano

Just wanted to give thanks for your share in my diary, I can't imagine how difficult that time must have been for you. Yep 'self imprisonment' is exactly what I've done.. I haven't figured out yet how I'm going to escape my prison but I'm not adding to the locks and that's a good thing 🙂

Working on getting the courage to reveal myself & join the group....Thank you so much.

Take care.

Mari x

Jeez...
Can't keep up with you deanooooo
Been searching for wimpy kid for ages....actually.....think the new titles much more you......bet you dont shave every morning...not many brickies bother lol..
Seriously. ...it's a good one....
Out of the shadows of addiction comes a strong
...friendly...honest man.....mwahhh
Right.....well..loxbury tickets....
After meeting Ali it just made the want to get us all together even more important....
But it's the logistics for everybody....welcome to all come here....but tis a long way....I'm happy to fly to Manchester...seems quite central...
Martin said he was on it. ....to sort something...it would be lovely to all just sit round and yap. .let's sort it......I'm not sure of everybodies locations..maybe Manchester is not ideal.....
Have a think.....
Ooh.....and mills and boon are ok ish.....
My real fetish is true movies channel....with Danielle Steele being the bestest....sshhhh
Don't tell a sole !

157 day's bet free longest I've ever gone without a single bet since well ever.

It hasn't been easy some day's I feel as low as the ground

And from the ground up is where I've had to reinvent myself
I won't even buy a bag of crisps that says win. extreme? Maybe but it work's for me.

I've probably hidden away from the world for a long time now
Social occasions had become uncomfortable I just wanted to be home. Home had become my safety blanket.

I guess gambaling gave me an escape from the 4 walls.

I remember the start of my self imprisonment. Times were hard back then I was deep in the red my only option was to work and stay in. I think I over stayed my sentence by about 2 years

I'm edging my way back into society.

I felt a little low at the end of January so I booked a 2 week holiday. And that gave me the lift I needed and a focal point to aim at

Life is on the up albeit a snail pace I'll take it

Thanks for sharing deano and I can relate to the gradual self-isolation .

Keep moving in that more social direction and it'll keep paying off

Hey Deano you are doing great and offering a lot of support to other people including me. I finally read that newspaper article you gave me the link for last weekend - interesting but also pretty disturbing. Cheers, Phil.

Hi deano, thanks for the post earlier...been reading your diary and so identified with this

'The same thinking I can afford to gamble so why not.
I can afford to gamble so why do I need to gamble?
Financially it doesn't effect me
But mentally it ruins me. I can't do anything else.'

felt a little reassured reading your diary...you know what it's like to be the last one on the machines at 5am too. When you have debt, you can see the reality of the damage gambling causes...without the debt, the gambling monster makes you question if there is really a problem. Well it does me. But then the rational part of me says it is not normal to waste large amounts of money, to sit in front of a machine feeding it till everything is gone. So many of us speak of being isolated...I wonder whether it is a cause or a consequence of gambling.

Hope you have had a good day x

Finally got around to reading your diary (am working my way through them), your diary is honest and gives a very warm impression. Thanks for your support Dean0, it means a lot!

Take care of you and enjoy Cheshire Oaks

Julie x

Hi Dean0

I'm delighted to hear you've booked a fortnight's holiday mate - the fruits of being GF are many and mean that this, one if life's joys, is possible.

Many of us, including me, can empathise that being GF can be bloody hard at times. It can make us down sometimes, very down, as we wean our brains off into another direction. Our brains find it hard, and we have to fight the rebellion using our conscience.

Whether on Day 1 or Day 1000, we must always be on full alert as we all know.

We're all with you Dean0, and for certain, being GF will eventually tilt into more good days than bad. Because it's the law of averages - if being GF us better than the alternative, which it is, then it's a certainty!

Cheers mixer I'll post you back tonight

I've often spoke about how sport was never really a problem for me it was always for want of a better word "controlled" I always convinced myself that sport I could take it or leave it. Was a bit of fun.
Since stopping gambaling back in September my biggest pull has been towards sport. I've not thought about scratch card's or slots. Addiction will mask itself in any form just to get you back gambaling.
Some people will stay with one style of gambaling through out.
But when that avenue drys up
New door's will be pushed ajar.

The hardest and most essential thing to except is you can never gamble again!!!