Out of the shadows

Jesus Deano, and a Jesus on a Sunday too.

WoW, you may get a more detailed response in a bit. I am full of admiration for you, from pulling yourself back from that. Your a good person, be assured of that.

Julie x

Hello Delano,

Had to ponder how to articulate this thought. But, I think this forum can dry up without honest posts like that, so I applaud you. It showed honesty and integrity as with the question you ask whether your a good chap, your answer may keep coming back that your not, that's the remnants of addiction as it strives to hold on to power.

Your Picasso use to be by numbers now slowly becoming blindfolded ...

Keep lashing Deano.....

You're a good person Deano. Thanks for sharing that. -joan

Cheers guys,

Don't get me wrong I do believe I'm a good person but I know I've done bad things , the story shows me at my lowest. Although it wasn't the end of my addiction to gambling, having gone through my diary I'd only really shared things I was comfortable with people knowing, and mostly showed me at present. I read the forum maybe 3 or 4 times a day and when I read about debt it takes me back . When people write about trying to pay the money back before anyone finds out it makes me want to scream at them lol , this addiction can't be done alone I'd go as far as saying it's impossible with out some form of support network. Debt is like a ball and chain round your neck , a single year took a decade of my life , 5 of them living in fear of the dam letterbox , so my post was trying to highlight the depths of where we can go . aswell as the stuff going on in front of us that we fail to acknowledge,

Thanks again for your posts

Deano

I will give you my more detailed response now.

I geuinely now, and no buttering you up here, because I like you anyways like, I admire you Deano...I do. I had no idea you were in that far. The money is not that big of shock, it is just digits on a page. But to live with that level of stress for that long, that must have took some doing. And it did, and you will probably admit that it did. Everyday waiting for the postman, going on a holiday and sat worrying about what you were coming home to. I think I would have done more than cried. Our experiences in life make us the people we are today. I know my experiences have. I have lived a few of my nine lives..But each and every one of those experiences are what made me the person I am sat here tonight. I couldn't see it at the time, and I can't see it with this gambling thing, but they built me. When I look back and I will look back, I will see that this added a layer of resolve. Some of it, I wish I could erase, somethings I know I can never erase....moving forward and not carrying the heavy bags is a good start.

Julie x

Deanooooo ..
My short answer ...
Top bloke with a squishy big heart..
Top bloke who stood and fought..
You and your family will have a blast this time on your holibobs...
And you bleedy deserve to...f2f
Mwahhhhh

Thank you for sharing that post, you are a good person because it takes serious balls to be that honest and also it will help people in debt (including me) that even in your darkest hour if you really want to you can turn things around and get your life back. No one intends to be an addict, circumstances , temptation and other factors just lead some of us down that awful road. Cheesy saying alert 'the past is history, the future is a mystery ' so let's lay the past to rest learn from it and move in to a GF future, Over and out S:)

Lovely post Deano.

I agree that lots of people on here, especially in the beginning, are consumed with thoughts on how fast they can pay back their debts. I have virtually the same amount of total debt you had but I just remind myself if it comes to my mind, that, at least I am reducing that each month, no matter how little, I have a home with a fair bit of equity in it and these circumstances can change in the future. Living and thinking in the "present" is the important thing for now.

Thanks for sharing that time of your life with us on here. Much appreciated.

Enjoy your day today.

Our Lady

Deaaannnnoooo. Thx for your kind post. You make me laugh

Bavalarr x

Thanks for popping over deano...even if you got the wrong address !
The old duffers still in a confused state....was going on about you putting your nuts on the bar last night....or something like that....i think its best we just go along with him....its probally a late reaction to the anesetic. ...
Anyway....if you've got the rain that's coming down here....I'll guess your snuck up somewhere warm and dry drinking tea....brickies brew ! x

Thanks deano it's not good to be back but your support as always is there thank you

I last had a bet on September 4th 2016 , 287 days ago to be mr precise.

I'm in a good place at the minute and seem to have found a foundation from which to build from.

Joining a gym changed the game for me and I'll be bold and say It definitely saved me. It's given me confidence I don't think I've ever had . My body has benefited as much as my mind to the tune of 3 stone weight loss , I could write about my 9 months bet free and what I've achieved in that time all day but I'll keep it short to get through the moderation process this side of 2018,

I never thought I'd say this but I went on the sun beds yesterday trying to get that David Dickinson glow before my holibobs which is tminus 27 days away , a holiday payed for in entirety from the non gambling fund , canny wait

Peace

Sunbed ??????.....................Excuse me Mr Mahogany It's 400 degrees in the shade out there and it's 9'15 at night , you must have really saved some money since Sept 4th :)) .

So are you trying to get brown before you go somewhere to get brown then ? Nothing like saving yourself some valuable drinking time is there ? , I'm suprised you bothered losing 3 stone then you could have cut out eating on holiday too :))

Be honest you knew that was coming didn't cha :)) .

Stay safe Buddy and congrats on the 287 day's :))

Kisses !

What colour is the holiday mankini Dddeeeaannooo x

LIme gree I reckon, with bows!!