Out of the shadows

Hi Deano

Just caught up with your posts over the last few days.

I believe its almost impossible to say no to something until you can find something else you can say yes too. So, just stopping alone is not enough for most. Its a hanging on by your fingertips existence.
No criticism intended as i was guilty of it too but, you tend to flit from one school of thought to another. You dont persevere with an idea or plan once the initial enthusiasm fades. Challenges startred, diaries deleted, accounts closed re-opened. Decisions to moderate your gambling then total abstinence. A meeting attended, saying it was great then never returning.

Pick a destination buddy, stick to it. No wonder youre so confused. Also agree with your wife. Tackle one thing at a time. Whats the sudden rush to fix everything?
Work on the internal & the external things will take care of themselves.

Youre a brickie right? First line of bricks is the most important. Without proper foundations things tend to collapse eventually. Get that wrong & its nigh on impossible to build successfully from it, isnt it?

Feeling a lot better about my self after I got out my previous posts the weekend. It's kind of now or never. I can't keep writing about it and doing nothing about it so I've sorted a few things out with the wife and also were going to go round a few places filling a few forms in when I'm better. Since Sunday's chat finished I've pretty much lived in the bathroom passing blood and vomit.
I'm not. Religious one bit. But it's funny how much you seem to pray to God when you feel everything is against you.
I've got an appointment with the doctor this afternoon. Probably haven't seen him since I was in my 20s maybe. It's funny because I believe in a pipe dream of winning a yacht style life. But don't believe in taking medicine.
Anyway. After almost 36 hours in the bathroom with reading bottles and Google I'm pretty close to designing my own shampoo
By the way I'm actually terrified of doctor's to

Deeeaaaannnnnnnoooo

Hang in there son amd make sure you clean the bog.

Bavalarrrr x

Day 14(ouch)

August has been a pretty terrible I'm spending a lot more than I'm earning due to everything in the house breaking. The heating, the cooker. If it breaks in our house this month it has. And the kids are off. And there entertainment ain't cheap. And I've been off work all week ill which is the longest I've been off work since Christmas.
And I absolutely hate it. I feel like a loser not being at work earning money. Daytime TV is everything I hate about society. How do people get satisfaction watching people have the possessions repossessed by some bald cop wannabe. Anyway I've had some time for self reflection this week
Asking myself where I want to be in 5 year's as you do. And still gambaling isn't where I want to be so time to put the hammer down.

I've set my clock for 3 everyday because Rachel Riley does countdown and that's the highlight of my day.
Hopefully I'll be back at work next week.

Day 4 for me, it's been really interesting reading all the posts above and ditto on the smoking. I've been vaping for 1yr 43 days, 'my last cigarette' app keeps track for me. Changed setup a few times and am def a cloud chaser. About a month ago I left my vape at a friends house and when he said he was too busy to drop it round and I couldn't go collect it myself I actually paid for a taxi to collect it and bring it to me. So yes I still need something but d**n glad it's not cigarettes. It's made me think I need to get something like candy crush and get competitive with myself try beating high scores. Better than stupidly being competitive with a system or game where I am bound to lose eventually. Name a game and let's start posting high scores lol

Deeeeaaaannnnnooooo.

Thank you for your kind words on my diary earlier. Beers and a wee dram in order.

Be good

Bavalarrrrrr x

Hi Deano , My name is Kno.bb man with a Capital Kerrrrrrrrrrrr , just safely returned from an Island that is Wight :)).

I have been couped up in a metal box the size of my lounge for five days with a one yr old , a six yr old, a 9 yr old , two 15 yr old girls and 3 dogs , plus of course my partner who was in there somewhere . Weve slept in a bed just over 3 ft wide , with sheets like sandpaper because the dogs swim on the beach and then have a nice snooze on the only place away from the kids , I now have a fear of Showers because ours was so small I nearly had a panic attack trying to find the door , that and the general lack of oxygen in the cubical but I hear you ask " would I do it again " Yeahhhh , absolutely , it was great :)).

So I thought I'd just come on here for some R&R and what do I find ???? , Honestly what do you expect when you don't keep your home appliances in good working order ? I expect Mrs D's livid ? plus she has to put up with you lusting over Countdowns Ms Riley , tut , tut , I know your good with figures but its no wonder your being chastised By Mr X , Captain Kremmen or Dr evil ? .

You should really think before you post young man !!.

Kisses x

Wasn't doing much anyway Bud , Chinese , re-run of Bad Boy's and washing the sand outta me pants , glad to see you have it all under control :)) .

Hi Buddy thanks for the drop bye :))

Really glad your still about , as I see our mutual friend seems to have been silenced , well until the next chapter of " Down bye the riverbank " appears somewhere ? .

I think admin have finally got a handle on things :)).

Hope your havin a good day and that nothing else has broken in your household , just back from a long dog / kid walk and pottering about for the rest of the day doing some odd jobs, so I'll catch you later good buddy .

Stay safe mate x

Hiya Deano , glad you had a good day mate , as you said it's the simple things right on your doorstep that can give you just as much pleasure as spending a small fortune on big days out . Woke this morning to find Mr T had left his usual mark across the forum , a few had already replied but by the time I'd had chance to reply to the comment he'd left for me admin had removed his thread again , honestly don't know how he gets away with it ? . Any ways I had a great day with the kids and the dogs plus my daughter and son in law newly returned from honeymoon came along and told of their tales , so we had a good catch up , just in the shop putting a few overdue prices up before reopening tommorow ( need to pay for the wedding you see ) lol , hope you have a great week mate and stay safe Xx

Hey deanooos
Just had a catch up on your diary...feel crappy to say I didn't realise you'd been through the mill the last couple weeks ....I've not been on here much over school holibobs !
Anyway....all i can really offer is...
Your a top bloke on here...one of my big brothers....dont be to hard on yourself...dont expect so much of yourself...be kind to yourself ...let your head have a rest...sometimes in life I think we search to much for ' the ideal "...whether is in our emotional state...material state or financial state....and I've come to realise that actually all the good things in life are already all around us ....we just think we should always be striving onwards...
Oh blimey...don't think any of that will make sense...hard to write what I mean lol....dam site easier if you could just pop in for a pint and a chat lol
In a nut shell. ..chill...and go with the flow xxx
Ooh...nearly forgot...how did the doc's go ?

Deano8008 wrote: Day 14(ouch) August has been a pretty terrible I'm spending a lot more than I'm earning due to everything in the house breaking. The heating, the cooker. If it breaks in our house this month it has. And the kids are off. And there entertainment ain't cheap. And I've been off work all week ill which is the longest I've been off work since Christmas. And I absolutely hate it. I feel like a loser not being at work earning money. Daytime TV is everything I hate about society. How do people get satisfaction watching people have the possessions repossessed by some bald cop wannabe. Anyway I've had some time for self reflection this week Asking myself where I want to be in 5 year's as you do. And still gambaling isn't where I want to be so time to put the hammer down. I've set my clock for 3 everyday because Rachel Riley does countdown and that's the highlight of my day. Hopefully I'll be back at work next week.

Glad your back Deano. Thanks for the share on my diary. Appreciated. tri

I haven't gone as high as £20 quid mate , I think £19.99 is where i need to be at the mo , LOL .

First day back is always horrible , it's that whole first day after the summer hols feeling all over again but TBH after one night bacxk it's like I've not been away ! , I don't know if I could be an Astronaut as I love a bit of an atmosphere at work :)) ( sorry it won't happen again ) but it's strange you saying that as of late I've been seriously discussing joining my partner with the fostering more and either selling up or renting the shop out ? , it won't happen overnight but it's something to look towards .

Your sounding a bit more puckker mate which is good to see but don't keep making up fake ailments to Loxxie , she's got enough to deal with in the bar at the mo and if you have the shi.tz just say so :)) ???

Stock cubes are good , they won't stop it but they'll certainly help thicken it up ?

Have a great day my brother and talk to you soon .

xx

Argh..
Just popped into say I'm glad the medical issue was nothing to serious...although im told fissures are very painfull...and as usually alans reply leaves me chocking on my coffee ! lol
You two just crack me up....I shall never look at a stock cube in the same light : )

Yeah LOL , I'm slipping Bud ??? , just got rollocked by admin for leaving a spoof post on Loxxies thread , I should change my name to David Blain or Dynamo , coz it dissapeared quicker than anything :((