Peace and Harmony once more.

Hi, thanks for your post. I've left a message on my diary.
I love the fact you're feeling calm and peaceful.
Such a contrast to when you've just lost hundreds. Don't go back there. Keep doing what you're doing now, enjoy your family, and let the sun shine through.
Hope your cold is better.take care x

Day 26.

Thanks Little Miss.

Not a good night for me last night - was in a lot of pain again. Still waiting to have my blood tests and apt for my scan. Really hoping this is all stress related and possibly the aftermath of gambling (and losing again) recently and losing 3 family members last year. Will have to wait and see about that??

Anyway, positives for today:

1. I have a loving, caring family;

2. I remain gamble free and have no desire or inclination to gamble again;

3. Pay day is fast approaching and almost forgot about it!!

4. I still have a small amount of money left in my bank account - Happy Days!

5. I have a peaceful mind.

Take care all and so will I.

Our Lady.

Day 27.

Well I sat at home all day, off work sick, tuned in to Cheltenham and I won! Money? Nooooo. I sat watching the racing (love any kind of racing as back in the day, used to be an athlete)!

What did I win?

I won back the enjoyment of watching these races, as opposed to "gambling" on them and feeling anxious throughout;

I won "acceptance ", as opposed to "avoidance";

I won peace of mind;

Throughout it all, I was happy that I was able to watch this event with a different pair of eyes and a different mindset. For me now, winning money from gambling, is just temporary borrowing as this only serves as funds for your next bet and we all know how that normally ends!

Today I have won big time and I will cherish my win. My salary has just gone into my account - early, as it's the weekend. It sits there, patiently waiting to pay my bills. I look at this money in a different way now and think how hard I have worked for that. Why on earth would I want to throw this all away on gambling?!!! Crazy! Luckily, my sensible head appears to be once more, screwed firmly and tightly, onto my head!

I hope Cheltenham has not been too damaging for anyone on here and if it has, remember, today is a new day and we can always make changes if necessary.

Take care everyone and so will I.

Our Lady.

Day 28.

It's a lazy Sunday morning.... my mum and sister are coming over to stay the night. Looking forward to that. Fridge full, plenty of wine in - just how I like it. A nice Sunday roast to follow. I read on someone's post last night, how nice it was for them, to be able to go to the supermarket again and buy food of their choice, instead of scrimping. I remember those days well!

I think it's good to take in the simple things of life, especially in the world we live in today. Lots of people who come on here, appear consumed by their debt and demonstrate how impatient and annoyed they are and how quickly they want to pay it back.

I feel that this could even serve as a trigger for many to gamble again. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand how they feel however, but as the saying goes "Rome wasn't built in a day". We people, need to become patient again. Only then, can we accept what's happened, let it go and move on.

Today, this month's salary sits in my account. I feel comfortable with that and I am at ease with it too. Let the bills be paid!!!

Have a lovely gamble free weekend everyone and so will I.

Our Lady.

Note to self...

WINNING MONEY FROM GAMBLING IS JUST A TEMPORARY LOAN AS IT WILL NO DOUBT JUST BE THE FUNDS FOR YOUR NEXT BET!

Over and out!

Day 31.

Hello all. Thought I would update. Still off work and off to docs soon for one of my tests - really hoping it's not going to be gallstones!! Strange thought I had earlier however was, "is this payback for gambling some of my previous inheritance"??

So got paid and still over two thirds of it left in my account and awaiting bills to be paid. Don't get me wrong, I will really have to budget well over the next few months - got so many big events/celebrations on this year and they all require extra money. It does leave me thinking it will be a little tough at times. I am however, great at budgeting when I have to - I am a master at it!! In a weird way also, I get some pleasure out of such a challenge!

Will reflect back on my monthly mini goals, after 28th, when most of my bills have been paid. Then I will draw up some more for next month.

Little bit of a niggle is that it is looking like I will not get the remainder of my inheritance for at least another 3 months. Little disappointed as I wanted to pay off a large chunk of my credit cards and pay off my mortgage arrears, which would leave me with more disposable monthly income for myself but that's not the case for now. At least I know I will be getting it! It makes me laugh though, sarcastically, albeit, how, when we owe money, it is whipped from us straight away but when we are waiting for things to be sorted out involving money, it can often take so much longer!!

Wish me luck everyone with my blood tests etc.

Positive thoughts for the day:

I could be feeling even worse if I was still gambling and losing all of my hard earned salary;

I have budgeted and can get through the month safely;

I have family coming on Mothers Day and I have the funds to entertain them well.

Take care all, be kind to yourselves and so will I.

Our Lady.

Good luck with your blood tests our Lady!
Thanks for you comment on my diary.
Sounds like you've had a fab gf month. Keep it up, I hope things work out for you x

Thank you Little Miss. Much appreciated.

Day 32.

Morning all.

Found myself going on to an online site last night and "pretend" betting on the virtual horse racing - good thing was, I am self excluded from this site (and all other online sites) and so they were non existent bets! Why do we do this - I have read other posts to hear that some people still play demo games. This I suppose can be good and bad - at least no money is being parted with and, it shows us how much more money we could have easily lost. It can however, also keep gambling at the forefront of our minds once more. I must say, I have not done this since excluding from that one remaining site last month. I found myself becoming bored quite quickly but more importantly, realising that even on favourites, you can still lose and, at the end of it all, you will no doubt lose rather than win. Again, I reminded myself that: Winning from gambling is only a temporary loan to be used for your next bet!

Why did I do this? I don't think it was to do with habit as I have not bet on the virtual sports for about 3 years! I'm not sure why really but the important thing I got from it was again, the reminder that winning money is only a temporary loan until your next bet.

Was just working through my budget for my next pay day in April. I mentioned earlier in another post, that I have an expensive year ahead in terms of big family celebrations, which for the next couple of months at least, will not leave me with much spare money. What I took from this though, was thinking "but I will feel safe and secure, knowing all my bills are being paid and things will get better".

Positives for today:

It is a lovely fresh, sunny day;

I have a peaceful state of mind

I can get through to my next payday financially - albeit on a fairly tight budget.

Take care all, be kind to yourselves and so will I.

Our Lady

Day 33.

Feeling a bit down and isolated at the min. Think it is to do with me being off work not too good and sitting at home on my own all day and night! Enough of that I thought this morning. I am going to shower and get myself out to the shops on this lovely bright and breezy day and remind myself that I still have lots of my hard earned salary still in my bank account. Hoping to get my blood results back today but if not, they can wait. Not going to worry about them over the weekend that's for sure.

Got my son and some of my lovely family coming for Mothers Day and my sister is coming to stay on Saturday so that will be good.

Take care all and make the most of a lovely gamble free weekend.

Our Lady

I hope you have a lovely Mother's Day Our Lady.

Enjoy

Matt

Thank you very much Matt - I'm sure I will!!

Day 36 - just about coming to an end.

Not been a bad day. Still waiting for my blood results etc and so still off work. Been thinking today, just how much I want to save money - see my money grow. Even if it is just small amounts at a time. I also want to continue to plan and budget well for upcoming events, especially this year. I feel so more secure when I am doing this and I get great pleasure again, even just buying the smallest of things, either for myself or for others.

Tomorrow, most of my direct debits will be coming out so I will return here, to look back over my mini goals and set some new ones for next month.

That's about it for this evening folks.

Take care all, be kind to yourselves and so will I.

Our Lady

Day 37.

Well, in a nutshell, have just typed a ginormous entry, only for it to have disappeared before my eyes!! This is the shortened version:

March's mini goals - Achieved. Had no facial but bought a new Chanel foundation brush, which was actually cheaper than the facial! Still not received our inheritance - looking like it could be in June.

Ringing council today, to set up new monthly direct debit for this year's bill. Still owe £324.00 from last year (due to gambling). Will make arrangements for this too. Was going to pay it out of my inheritance but will pay the remaining balance off when I receive this.

Scan date come through for 25th April. Would have liked it sooner but hey ho.

Still on a fairly tight budget for now but happy bills are being paid once more.

Feeling "normal" and "peaceful" which is great.

Long term goal to abstain for longer than 2 years, 6 months but for now, will put mini goals in place. One step at a time etc. Still think about gambling occasionally but with blocks and the reminder that "winning from gambling is only a loan for my next bet", these will be enough to keep me on the straight and narrow again.

Take care all. Have a lovely g.f day and so will I.

Our Lady

Hi....thanks or your post on my diary, sorry you are going through a tough time with your health too. I am hoping to get back to work tomorrow, I can't wait to get out of the house and be with people again!

You sound like a woman after my own heart - i love a good facial! I actually got a deal off one of the discount sites and went for one last Friday....the woman was trying to get me to sign up to a session of facials and i felt awful saying that I didn't have any cards on me to pay the deposit (it was the truth though as I have no access to cards anymore!) and that I would phone later that day and pay over the phone.....i obviously never did as it was £125 that I don't have haha! She even phoned and left a voicemail chasing me up!

Having gone 2.5 years in the past you have proved that you can do it. Just don't fall into the trap when you get your inheritance money of 'oh £20 won't hurt' because we all know where £20 leads to! Would it not be wiser to put most of this money in an account that you can't access easily or giving it to your sister to look after?

Lots of Love xxx