reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle2,

A big well done to you 🙂

You have been working so hard in your recovery and your help to others does not go amiss.

Keep strong

Lucy

Hope you have enjoyed your Monday even though it has been the best part wet and miserable.

Enjoying reading your diary, you are doing well.

Wilsy

Hey Castle

Just popping in to say keep up the good work,had a quick read through your diary and i have to say well done hun for fighting the good fight you seem to be up against alot atm but i know your'll come through it.

Keep that head held high.

Stay Strong

E xx

Castle,

Just a short note to say I really enjoyed reading your earlier post. Strength, determination and confidence jumped right out of my computer and slapped me across the face. Great read. Great to read that you are seeing the benefits of your hard work. I think confidence is huge. Many people don't believe they can do it from the start but from reading your post I can see you have came through enough to realise that you now have control. You are well aware of the dangers hiding around the corner but you have the barriers in place and a great support system, which you utilise to its fullest extent. Your post proper cheered me up today.

Tomso.

Morning,

Just popping in to say , hope you have a good day.

And to tell fairy princess that I watched the voice , but it was rubbish . 3 hrs of my life I wasted , sounds like a memory of my gambling days.

Did not like that battle format one bit. Hope the live shows are better. So from big fairy to little fairy she really did not miss much.

The most intestering thing was they did change their clothes lol

Take care,

Dustyxx

Hi castle, I am glad u r feeling better and that u are staying positive. Well done for staying stong 🙂 take care.

Hi Castle

I too am coming up to the stage where I relapsed last time but somehow this time seems a lot different for me. I think it's people like you that make me want to succeed this time round.

You have had so much else to deal with and you continue to be strong.. it really is inspirational stuff! Take heart from the fact that there are a lot of people benefitting from your strength and courage and determination just as you are from theirs.

Well done and thanks!

Thanks all for us support

Recovery and how we deal with it what's acceptable and what's not is different in everyones eyes , myself I know I won't but more importantly can't ever go into a betting shop again this was my demon this place made me change into a different person someone who I wasn't who lost all control and made me hate myself shattered my confidence , that I will never go back to

On line gambling with bookmakers is another that I know I can never do and again don't want to

This may surprise some but I only av an android phone I av no blocks in place I could access these sites quite easily if I desired , I av not self excluded myself from any bookmaker so could walk straight back in again if I desired , my point is this is my personal decision believe me I do not do this with complacency I know the risks I am taking but I don't feel the need to in a way I want to test myself to see how strong I am to push my limitations see how I react to stress and problems in life and so far so good if it makes me relapse then I know where I went wrong again , the reason I am doin this is I feel one day I would like to think I could reenter the real world as I see it should be lived to be able to leave this site and move on without it

For me now it really is simple I decide what to do I choose and make the decisions that affect my life , no-one else can make this happen

So time will tell I think I am doin the right thing and has I said every recovery is personal to them

Today I didn't gamble and didn't want to tomorrow I will choose the same

I just want to add a little more to my previous post

When I post on others diaries it's very rare I give advice I wouldn't do wether it be putting blocks in place or sayin be careful of this or this might happen , I use the words strong strength fight choice decide when I post all I try to do is support , if people want to gamble they will find a way for me it is bout determination and wanting not to gamble

I understand why people use the blocks and self exclude and if honest it's the most sensible thing to do like I explained for me it's just a personal decision in no way do I think my gambling problem is less than any others on here I am a compulsive gambler and that will always lie dormant inside me for the rest of my life

I understand these two posts could be a little controversial but I am just been honest and writing my feelings down ultimately this is to help me in my recovery

Maya one day I will look back and think what a fool ur a gambling addict in recovery and u didn't put the simple blocks in place or maybe I won't and I passed my test in life

Castle,

I agree with what you say but don't really know how to respond. I have never used any blocks and have never self-excluded from the bookies. Self exclusion would not have worked for me. I have a car and would have driven for as long as it takes. I have to watch what I say because I don't want to put anyone off from using these tools. They will work for some but not for me. Basically, gambling had beaten me up. I was a pyschological mess and admitted to myself that I had been defeated and there was no way I could continue to go through life this way. On the 15th of Feb I made a decision that I was no longer allowed to step foot in a bookies or casino ever again. I wanted to stop. I didn't stop because I had no money left or because I couldn't get access to cash. I could have continued the funds were available. Like you, I make the decision every morning not to gamble and I think carefully about my day before going to bed and realise how happy I am without the dissaray of gambling. Great things have happened along the way that only further my belief that what I decided was the correct decision. Now, ten weeks on my thought process is real simple - gamble and be miserable or don't gamble and be happy. My decision is now that simple.

Tomso.

Castle.

Fella I read your lasted posts with intrest and I conclude that the compulsive gambler will make up there own mind as to what is best for them and all I hope is that the tools and way they go about there recovery works for them and they remain in a lifetime of arrest in there addiction. This site I feel is one of those tools along side GA,counselling and family and friends support but to end it is down to each and every one of us as compulsive gamblers to get off our ride and arrest our addiction surely this is the same goal for all.

To end I agree to your comments about not needing this site eventually but I will throw this into the pot when I first wrote on this site Smiler replied almost instantly which gave me hope and courage and I hope to repay that to newcomers because if I left then would that person who asked for help get it??

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi,

Got called into work, and the last 2 days have been really tough. Dealing with people's emotions, disappointment , tears anger. Feeling really drained.

But there was one bright moment , when a bright light shone through it all , and that was down to you.

Think I might change my name to fairy dusty in memory. You really will never know how much that post lifted my spirits.

Give fairy princess an extra big hug tonight.

Thank you

Dusty xxxx

Hi Castle,

Thanks for your post on my diary 🙂

Feeling really strong and long may it continue!

In work so smiling again 🙂

Your post about doing it your way was really thought provoking, i was also doing it with no barriers but have since put a block in, that for me was finally saying ' i will never bet again'.

Here's to you continuing on your great journey, life is getting better for all who remain bet free!

Thanks

Lucy

Hi Castle

I get what you're saying about the blocks and stuff, but that just goes to show your determination this round.

I always read your diary because no matter what you are going through, you don't turn to back to gambling.

Your strength, courage and determination are commendable and an example to us all!

Keep going Castle!

Some of the wisest words on this site come from this man Castle. There should be a link straight to your diary for new members! You helped me at the beginning and this is something I'll never forget. Keep it up big chap.

Ryan