reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle,

Thank you for the post.

Am feeling full of xmas cheer today

We wish u a merry xmas...tr tr la

Oh jingle bells jingle bells....frosty the snowman..............ohhhhh James Arthur winning x factor.......................!!!!!

Sue xxx

Everyone around me has the flu goin bout , its like waiting for a bomb to go off just want it to come and go as for the ..1st time ages am goin out at the weekend and really looking forward to it so hopefully it will either hold off or start asap

Puttin the divorce to the back of my mind now can't do anything bout it , just concentrating on work and my gorgeous daughter the two things that matter to me most ,think she was pleased James won but wasn't too fussed ,she enjoyed the whole series and will miss her Saturday nights but not as much as me as the bond between us was so strong it was just so nice on see her so happy but we will find other stuff to do there's no worry bout that

Not thought that much bout xmas yet still got some presents to get but can do it all in a day , lookin forward to it for my daughter but not so much after I av dropped her off , I will get through it though and am determined to be happy all day

Thats not for a couple of weeks yet so still a day at a time till then and its working ,still for now thats all I can do

Hey Castle

You will get through Xmas Castle cos im gonna be checking in and making sure your ok...sending you youtube clips and funny stories and making sure your having a good feed.

Thats just my input! but everyone will be here to keep you smiling all the way to 2013 x

hugs

R and D xx

knock knock.....

Tulisa here......coming over for a makeover...lol

just kiddin

R and D xx

Cheers for the post castle wise and helpful words.

Don't leave that Xmas shopping to late - shops will just keep getting busier. I'm proud to say I've been really organised this year - for a change and I'm looking forward to my first gamcare Christmas.

Take care mate.

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur post on my diary. The bit about Tulisa made me laugh 🙂

U r such a strong person Castle, u will have a gr8 Christmas... U deserve nothing but happiness 🙂

We are all here 4 u Castle 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xx

After a little stress sorted my daughters mobile phone out for xmas , I av a contract phone and just wanted to add an extra line so went to store to sort but my driving licence is not the same address as my flat , my fault for not changing it ! So was gonna av to do a separate line but that meant doin a credit search which is a big no no at the moment , the debt management plan took care of that , so left the store feeling low another kick from the past that comes up and bites me from time to time it frustrates me as I av never missed a payment in my life but what's done is done I av no regrets it gave me the new lease of life and allowed me to over forward in life ,in the end I just phoned up and it was sorted in ten mins

Off to daughters school concert this mornin so lookin forward to that , then off to work till 8 then back on early at 6 next morning , so still busy busy which is all good for me , flu not kicked in yet so now hoping it stays away till after the weekend

Hi Castle,

Busy, busy busy..................Can't keep up with ya!

Wreckon I have got your "man flu".......that means you wont get it now!

Seriously, glad you have managed to sort things out with the phone. When gambling, important stuff like that tends to be overlooked........you are so right "your daughter deserves the best you can give"

You are an excellent dad Castle........bet your little princess knows that too.

Sue xx

Off today after working a 14 hour shift yesterday absolutely flew by so not complaining , flu not kicked in yet but its slowly gettin there , feel it on my chest and in my head but just goin to get on with it even when the flu kicks in I know it won't be the most miserable time of my life nothing will ever compare to those dark days of gambling every day with no control the feeling inside after an heavy loss I can still feel the pain now

Nearly all xmas shopping done just a few bits now still mixed feelings for xmas looking forward to it for my daughter and spending time with her other than that for me its just another day to get through but I will smile and enjoy it to the best I can

Today just goin to stay warm and relax got a few bits to do but nothing that can't wait

Hi Castle,

sorry to hear that you might be coming down with that nasty bug! When I am not writing, I am still reading and I just wanted you to know what an inspiration you are to me and I am sure so many others. Keep warm and get well soon. Hugs! -joan

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 all ur support and kind words on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

I hope u feel better soon!

I agree with Joan, u r an inspiration... No matter how tough life gets u keep going and that takes a lot of strength and courage. U give me hope 2 keep going so thank u from the bottom of my heart!

Have a gr8 nite xx

Good Morning,

Sometimes time just amazes me. Apparently it's a constant tick tock but wow does it appear quicker than that!!! I say this because it has been a while since I posted to you, I always stay in touch with your diary and it's really great to see you content.

I remember we have shared some pretty long and in depth posts during this year but they came at a time when you were seemingly nowhere near where you are now and I was still getting to grips with my own demons.

I read your posts with a real smile lately. You deal with an awful lot and I admire your strength and determination I have done from day 1! What strikes me now is although there are still things that niggle away you deal with them differently. There is a calm and acceptance about your posts. I sense an optimism for the future but not a frantic one where it has to be better yesterday but a strategic one where things improve if you just let them improve.

That may all be utter rubbish lol but it's the feeling I get and I hope it's at least half right because you have been an amazing supporter from my day 1 and I wouldn't wish you anything but real happiness.

Flagg

Hello castle. Sounds like youve been busy. Glad ya got the phone sorted and that your nearly there with xmas shopping. I cant be dealing with xmas eve mad rush shopping - another stress i dont need. The blast from the past in a way can be a good thing a little remember of how bad it can get if we go down that horrible road again. Never again for us though. You have learnt so much on this new road to recovery to ever go off course. Take care mate. Get those last bits done and enjoy christmas with ya littlin.

Had a great night out last night , met up with some old friends who I hadn't seen for 2 years so it was good to catch up , was a late one till bout 3 so feeling the affects today , my daughter had a ballet exam so took her to that , again only dad their but I don't mind why her mom won't take her only she knows , right from been a baby I did everything playgroup put her to bed read her stories , the divorce is so much better for my daughter has she now has a relationship with her mom which was always missing when we were together , the bond we av though is so special and always will be , the last 2 years every decision I av made I av done for her I put her happiness before my own I know Later on in life she will understand I hope her mom can say the same

Went to the cinema after that to watch tinkerbell I tried my best to stay awake and watch it , of course my daughter enjoyed it and thats all that matters , her mom picked her up at 7 mentioning that my solicitor had wrote to her asking her to pay half for the final court fee and there's no way she could afford it , this made my blood boil as I av sacrificed everything over the last 2 years so that my daughter could be happy and settled as could be , I av walked away with nothing pay more than I should child maintenance all for my daughters welfare and does she appreciate it does she heckers like she just wants more more more , well she can whistle and find the 22 quid for the court fees

I have to write this all down to get it off my chest and suppose it looks like I'm painting a real bad picture off my ex but thats not the reason I need to deal with this and not let it affect me

Today is now done and got through it had a fantastic time with my daughter seeing her so happy , tomorrow is a new day and will deal with that has it comes

I av not been myself for bout the last month or so all I'm doin is fighting everyday to get through to the next , all that matters is I carry on this site is so important to me I'm not using it the way I Always av by supporting so many but I read daily and post but not as much , I need to think bout me at this moment in time and just get through this tough time , and I will that is for sure I won't and can't go back to all that pain and misery

Fight fight fight thats all I can do

Hi Castle,

Yes, we will continue to fight. Thank you for your post and the reminder that my diary is primarily for me and in the service of my recovery. You're a good and kind man Castle. I am glad to know you and call you friend. Thank you so much. -joan